


I Don’t Hate the Gravity

by kiwisandwich (panconkiwi)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Fantasy Races, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Happy Ending, M/M, Slow Burn, teen drama, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2020-06-29 19:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 73,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19836760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panconkiwi/pseuds/kiwisandwich
Summary: Johann knew he had a bright future ahead of him, but he had to work for it, and if that meant doing it by himself, then so be it. Bach wrote the six solos for violin alone.What Johann wasn’t counting, was on making friends. He definitely didn’t plan on joining a club, or becoming a school cryptid. But the biggest surprise was meeting Avi, and how much he ended up meaning to Johann.If only Avi wasn’t hopelessly in love with his best friend.





	1. First Year

**Author's Note:**

> You knew this was coming.
> 
> Big thanks to the kids at the johavi discord server, without whom I wouldn’t know as much as I do now about American football, and the overall support and hype for this. Special mention to [Alice](https://loafwins.tumblr.com) and [Gaby](https://sakuraspell.tumblr.com), who let me ramble and brainstorm with them. Gracias girls 💖💖
> 
> **ok but important stuff before reading:**  
>  1) Yes, this is based on that angsty teen comic I drew months ago. I changed some stuff around (also it’s spoilers now (and it’s kinda ugly)) so if you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t worry about it.  
> 2) This is gonna be angsty. No character death, just teen drama, but like, a lot, with an emphasis on unrequited feelings, which means Avi’s crush on Magnus plays a big role here. If that’s not your thing that’s totally fine! And for the rest of you, I promise there’s a happy johavi ending, but I’m gonna make you wait for it >:).  
> 3) Canon ships are going to be featured but they don’t play a big role in the story, so don’t expect much content of that.  
> 4) I’m sorta basing this whole thing in the American high school system, which I’ve never been part of, so if anything seems out of place, uh, it’s fantasy!  
> EDIT: I made a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7IJdawtuKNC66uf7b2UZvS) with the songs featured in this fic. I'll keep it updated with every episode, but I'll also link the songs in the fic for easy access.  
> EDIT 2: I learned how to make really cool stuff on css so remember to turn on the creator skin. or just dont turn it off. actually please dont turn it off i think thatll mess this whole thing up uhhhh  
> EDIT 3: [Yxurstruly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yxurstruly/pseuds/yxurstruly) made a playlist for this fic!!! It has more character appropiate songs and it slaps. Please [check it out!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1pEN0frZqiYTku7gt0O4dZ) And also check her fics if you like Johavi!
> 
> Enjoy the reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next are prologues.  
> Dont forget to click the links!

_The sonatas and partitas for solo violin are a set of six works composed by Johann Sebastian Bach. (...) The set consists of three sonatas da chiesa in four movements and three partitas (or partias) in dance-form movements._

“Let’s see, Johann, what will you be playing for us today?”

“[Bach’s first sonata for solo violin. Presto.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZoaEmxrsZQ)”

_The Sei Solo a Violino senza Basso accompagnato (Six Solos for Violin Without Bass Accompaniment), as Bach titled them, firmly established the technical capability of the violin as a solo instrument._

Johann stared at the letter in her mother’s hand, as she held his hand with the other. He couldn’t read it from where he was sitting, but that didn’t matter. Johann already knew what it said.

“It doesn’t matter,” his mother said in a reassuring tone. “You’re still the best to me, Jo.”

Johann let go of her hand and walked away.

“Wait, Johann…”

“I’ll be in my room.”

_Correct Italian would be "sei soli". Some believe the literal meaning of the title's "sei solo" (You are alone) is an intentional reference to the recent sudden death of his wife. This theory is popular among musicians but not among Bach scholars, though the exceptional indication of the year of completion on the title page does seem to indicate a payment of homage to his wife.[1]_

***

Scouting the school grounds for a good place to practice was harder than Johann thought. Saint Robert of Her Holy Benevolence High School, also known as the Bob by it’s students, was bigger than most schools in the area, and it prided on its sports and science programs and infrastructure, but fine arts, on the other hand, weren’t that important for the curriculum. Johann’s expectations were low, anyway, he didn’t care about soundproof rooms, he just wanted privacy.

There had been a room at the end of the hall in the third floor, so small it was one square meter away from legally being a supply closet. It was perfect, but most important, it was free.

Or, at least, it had been yesterday.

“Well, today is occupied.” The human boy’s tone and stance were those of someone who thought himself better than everyone else by some arbitrary rule of authority, like good grades, or a parent with an important job.

“I talked to the vice principal yesterday, he said I was free to use it after class.”

“Well, my mo- I mean, Professor Miller,” there it was, “has already inscribed this room for the Voidfish Committee.”

“What the fuck is “Voidfish”?”

“Excuse me.”

Johann turned around. He saw a giant jellyfish.

No, to be exact, he saw a giant fish tank holding a giant jellyfish. And pushing it towards him, a human girl.

“ _That_ ,” said the jerk behind him, “is a Voidfish,”

And so, violin still on his back, Johann was locked out of his only option so far.

Now he wandered outside. This late in the day, and early in the semester, everything was empty. Nothing to study, no sports training, at least not until tryouts started next week…

_Paf!_

“Come on!”

Oh, there was someone else.

Alone in the football field, a stranger trained. He kicked a ball and yelled when it landed in front of the goalposts, which Johann assumed was bad? He didn’t really know much about football. The boy picked another ball from the ones scattered around him, and repeated the process.

Not really sure why, Johann stood where he was and watched as the boy failed his kicks time and time again. It was like a metaphor to his own useless crusade. Or maybe he was just tired and his brain latched onto the first repetitive pattern it saw to take a rest. Either way, Johann found himself rooting for this stranger stuck late at school with him. If he could keep on fighting like that, maybe even Johann-

The stranger screamed. “Fuck this shit!” Well, life was hard for everyone. “And fuck this piece of shit game!”

He kicked the last ball next to him to the side of the field. It hit a lamp post, then bounced right on the boy’s face.

He fell to the floor.

“Holy shit!” Johann ran towards the boy and kneeled next to him. “Dude, are you okay?!”

The boy wasn’t responding. Oh shit _he wasn’t responding_. What if it was serious? What if he- oh he was coming back thank god.

The boy blinked a couple times before his eyes focused on Johann. “D-did I die?”

“I hope not?” Johann said in mild panic. His heart was still racing. “Okay. Um. Listen, you hit your head pretty bad.”

“Oh, fuck.”

“Yeah, and I don’t think- I mean, I don’t know shit about first aid…”

“Don’t move. Call help. Fingers.” The boy seemed to have trouble articulating.

“What?”

“First aid,” he managed to say.

“Oh! Okay, don’t move, call help, fingers?”

“Like, how many.”

“Oh. Okay.” Johann held up two fingers. “How many?”

The boy stared at his hand for a long, long moment. “Man, cartoons are right, you _really_ see stars.”

“I’m gonna get help.”

***

Dr. Highchurch, the school’s medic, was an old Dwarf with flowers on his beard and all around him in his infirmary. He was calmer than Johann while he tested around for symptoms of a concussion. That was a good sign, right?

“What’s your name, young man?”

“Avi. I mean, Abraham. But please just call me Avi.”

The doctor nodded, then proceeded to not use any name anyway. “And your age, son?”

“Fifteen.”

“Do you know what day is it?”

“Friday.”

“Very well.” The Doctor then pointed at a sign hanging on the wall opposite from where Avi was sitting. “Can you tell me what’s on that poster?”

“Uh, sure. There’s like, flowers vines… oh, they form letters. ‘Zone of Truth’?”

“That’s right, it’s the number one rule of this infirmary:” the Dwarf held up one finger and enunciated with practiced ease, “Always say the truth, and nothing but the truth. I won’t snitch, but I can’t help you if I don’t know what happened.”

Avi and Johann exchanged looks. That’s when Johann noticed Avi’s nose was red and his right eye was starting to turn an ugly shade of blue from the ball bouncing on his face earlier.

“Wait. We weren’t fighting or anything.”

Dr. Highchurch raised an eyebrow. “Who said anything about fighting?”

“He’s right!” Avi rushed to support Johann’s claim. “I was practicing my kicks alone in the field, he just happened to walk by when I hit myself with a ball.”

The doctor gave Johann’s hands a (badly) concealed look to check for any signs of a fight. He snorted and said, “And how did you kick _yourself_ with a ball?”

“I…” Avi thought about it for a moment. “I don’t remember,” he finally admitted.

“It bounced on a lamppost,” Johann said.

“Man, really? I’m a terrible kicker.”

“You should be thankful,” the doctor said, “the impact of the ball wasn’t strong enough to break your nose. Being bad saved you this time!”

“Geez, thanks doc.”

“But I’m afraid the _fall_ was strong enough to give you a concussion.”

Avi and Johann hissed in unison.

“Be honest, doc,” Avi said, “will I be able to play again?”

The doctor laughed. “Of course, of course. But football players wear helmets for a reason, you know?”

Avi sighed in relief. “Lesson learned.”

“And you need to take it easy for a couple days. Lucky for you it’s Friday! Now go lie in bed while I call your parents.”

“Oh, I’m not tired anymore…” but when he got up and almost fell down into the chair again, Avi reconsidered. “Woah, yep, everything’s turning around.”

As Avi did as told, Johann approached the doctor.

“Say, is this place busy? Like, after hours? Because I’m looking for a place to practice with the violin and-“

The doctor pointed at another, smaller sign in the wall. It read, “Rule 2: Keep It Quiet.”

Johann sighed. “Right.” He picked his violin and backpack and left.

***

The second week of class came and Johann was as hopeless as the first. He made the mistake of talking to the vice principal again, who only suggested Johann joined the band. Johann didn’t have the patience to explain why he couldn’t join a fucking marching band with a fucking violin.

So there he was now, looking at the board in case an orchestra had formed in the weekend and was looking for players, even though he joined this high school fully aware that, as far as the school plan went, he wasn’t going to get musically educated here.

He had also given up on carrying the violin with him until he found a good place to play. The last thing he wanted was for people to approach him out of a sudden and-

“Hey! You by the board!”

Johann froze. What were the chances of him being the only one staring at the board right now? He looked to the sides, saw no one, and cursed under his breath.

When he turned around, the boy from the field was approaching him. Fuck, Johann didn’t remember his name.

“I’m so glad I found you, man! I never thanked you for helping me the other day.”

“Oh! It was nothing. Um, you feeling better now?”

“Yeah! It was just a scratch, anyway,” he said smiling. It was a bright smile, not the kind you’d expect from someone talking about getting a concussion, whose face was still kinda swollen from getting hit with a ball.

It soon turned into an embarrassed smile, though. “Hey, this is kinda awkward, but my memory of that day is still a little fuzzy and I totally forgot your name.”

Of course, Johann had never told this guy his name because he wasn’t counting on seeing him again after Friday, but he didn’t need to know that. “It’s Johann,” and while he was at this, “and it’s no problem, dude, you were so out of it you didn’t even tell me your name.”

“Damn, that’s so rude of me! I’m-“

“Avi!” Called a guy from the other end of the hall.

The boy from the field turned around. “Yep, that’s my name.”

His friend pointed at some other place around the corner. “You coming?!”

“Just a sec!” Avi yelled back. “See you around, Johann!” He waved good-bye and left. Johann waved back at him and hoped he heard his name right.

Now, back to the board. How hard would it be to start an orchestra on his own? But that involved asking people around to join…

Johann decided to give up for that day.

***

Johann didn’t forget Avi’s name after that day, and neither did Avi forget about him. He would wave at him every time they passed each other on the halls, or try to make small talk with him before math, which was the only class they shared.

“Crazy game last night, right?”

“Hm?”

“I’m talking about the touchdown in the third quarter, when the quarterback-“

“Ah, I don’t really follow those.”

“Oh.”

Johann wasn’t really good at small talk.

Avi didn’t seem to mind, though. “Well, you’ll have to trust me, it was amazing!”

At least he wasn’t pushy, so those small instances of socialization before class weren’t unbearable. _Persistent_ is what Avi was. Class after class, he approached Johann with a new subject to talk about, like baseball, basketball, rugby. He seemed to like sports. Johann didn’t have the heart to tell Avi he didn’t. The only thing they had in common, it seemed, was their commitment to lost causes.

Johann still had no place to play in peace, and as much as he hated the idea of starting an orchestra _himself_ , part of him still wished someone else would do it. The board was the same every time he checked on it.

Until, one day, a sign caught his attention. It was a printed photo of a jellyfish in black and white, with the words, “JOIN THE VOIDFISH COMMITTEE” slapped on top of it.

“What the fuck does a Voidfish committee even do?” Johann whispered.

“I’ve heard people say it’s some kind of cult.”

Johann almost jumped out of his skin. Avi was standing right next to him, looking at the jellyfish sign with curiosity. It’s important to notice Avi wasn’t a small guy, and after the third week of class he started wearing the football team’s white and blue jacket everywhere, so he wasn’t exactly stealthy, but Johann was so deep in his mind it took him by surprise. “Dude, you scared me!”

“Oh, sorry! I just wanted to say hi.” He smiled sheepishly.

How was Johann supposed to stay mad at this guy? “It’s okay, just make a sound or something next time.”

Avi smiled again, but before he could say something else, a strong voice interrupted. “Bro, there you are! I was telling Carey and the guys about the time you and I sneaked a dog into school in eight grade!”

It was the same guy that Johann saw with Avi all the time, plus a bunch of other people he didn’t really remember. Just like Avi, he and rest of the group were wearing the football team’s jacket too.

“Oh, that’s a great story! Johann might want to hear it. Hey, Johann, you wanna grab lunch with me and the…”

But Johann had already sneaked away. One jock was fine. A whole group? Not so much.

***

After a month of walking around the school and the subject, Johann decided on starting an orchestra. He didn’t like the idea of playing in front of other people, but clubs got their own classroom to themselves, and if the weirdos at the Voidfish committee could get one, then so could he. Besides, he had a math test tomorrow, and any excuse not to study was well received.

Johann went to the vice principal’s office. Mr. Davenport was a Gnome with the most perfect mustache Johann had ever seen, and he never forgot a name. “Johann, my boy! How is the band going?”

“I’m not…” Johann sighed. He still didn’t have the patience to deal with that. “I want to start a club.”

“Hm, I see!” The vice principal stood up, disappearing behind the table for a moment before coming out of the side, and climbed the little stairs on the bookshelf. “You know here at St. Robert we always encourage the students to follow your dreams! Any hobby can be an instance of learning if you commit to it,” he finally found the binder he was looking for and made the way back to his desk with it. “Now, what do you have in mind?”

“I want to start an orchestra.”

The vice principal hemmed. “I don’t think we can allow that.”

Johann was disappointed yet not surprised. “Why not?”

“Well, for starters, I don’t think we have the infrastructure for an orchestra at this moment. It would make a lot of noise.”

“One violin doesn’t make noise.”

Mr. Davenport raised an eyebrow. “The minimum number of members for a club is three.”

Fuck, right, he was trying to con this man. “Of course! I knew that! Anyway, what about the marching band? They get to make all the noise they want.”

“Yes, but they have the music room.”

“Then why can’t I- _we_ use the music room? Can’t we share?”

“Unfortunately, the schedule for the music room is already packed between band practice and music class. And that’s the other matter: you would need a supervising teacher, and our music teacher is already full between class and the marching band.”

Johann leaned back against his chair and groaned. He didn’t stop groaning until he left the vice principal’s office.

And that’s how Avi found him, because _of course_ he would. “Woah, dude, you okay?”

“Peachy. How about you?”

If Avi didn’t think Johann looked peachy, he didn’t mention it. “I was heading to the library to study for tomorrow’s algebra test.”

Johann groaned again. “Right, there’s _also_ that. As if this day couldn’t get more awful.”

“Do you want help with it?”

Johann looked at Avi like he just noticed he was there. “From you?” He realized how that sounded two seconds late. “I mean, not that I think, you know, it’s just…”

Avi raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “What, just because I’m a jock I must be a muscle head?” His tone wasn’t serious, though, and he looked clearly amused.

“Sorry, I’m not exactly in a position to criticize other people’s brains.” Johann admitted. “I could really use the help.”

Avi looked at him in that fake offended expression, until he finally uncrossed his arms and smiled again. “Alright, but only because I owe you my life from the other day.”

It was a contagious smile Johann couldn’t avoid. “That sounds about right.”

It was still too early in the semester for people to worry about studying for tests, so they had the library just for them. Johann was still thinking about his failed attempts at finding a place to play music. This would be perfect if it weren’t for libraries’ usual ban on noise.

“Look at this,” Avi said, pointing at the left side of an equation, “what does it remind you of?”

Johann looked at it and shrugged.

“You have two variables squared, and twice their product. It’s a perfect square trinomial.”

Johann nodded.

“And this,” Avi pointed at a section on the other side, “it’s a difference of two squares.”

Johann nodded again.

“So now we can factorize them like this,” he did some… number magic. “And then we can also take that four from inside,” he turned two nines into a three, for some reason, “now we divide the common factors,” he stroked one parenthesis on each side, moved some stuff around, and said, “and we have that three equals x plus y over x minus y! Did you get that?”

Maybe it was the expression of complete confusion on Johann’s face, maybe his brain was visibly fuming; it only took Avi one look at him to know Johann was lost.

Fortunately, Avi was more patient than Johann would be in his place. “Don’t worry, I’ll go slow this time. So, these three terms here correspond to a perfect square trinomial, right?”

Johann was still lost.

“Let’s go over the notable identities one more time.”

Avi was _way_ more patient than Johann.

It was a slow process, math was hard enough with numbers. Johann looked at all these letters and felt his brain overload again.

“Sorry for taking time of your study,” Johann said, a little embarrassed.

“It’s fine, teaching you helps me study. Besides, none of my friends share this class with me, and studying alone is boring.”

By friends, he probably meant the guys from the football team. The idea of that noisy bunch sitting in silence in the library was… fun.

“Congrats for making it into the team, by the way,” Johann said. “At least you didn’t get a concussion in vain.”

Avi laughed. “Thank you! It’s fun being in the team, even if still can’t kick to play in official games yet.” He shrugged. “Not everyone is Magnus Burnsides,” Avi said, like he expected Johann to know who he was talking about.

Johann tried to guess. “Is he a… professional player?”

That, somehow, took Avi by surprise. “What? No, he’s in our grade. You haven’t heard about him?”

Johann shrugged. “I don’t really follow the ins and outs of school gossip.”

Avi laughed. “That’s fair. Magnus was a really big deal when we were in middle school, he practically got accepted in the team before signing up for this school.” He crossed his arms and said, proudly, “Also, he is my best friend.”

Well, that was a non-creepy explanation to why Avi knew so much about this guy. “He’s the big redhead that’s always with you, right?”

“Yep, that’s him!”

“Must be a really cool kid if you joined the team for him.”

Avi laughed nervously. “Haha, what? That’s not why I joined, I mean, he’s my _best friend_ , I want to play with him but I didn’t join _because_ of him-“

“Avi, I’m fucking with you.”

“Oh. Of course! Haha, good one, dude!”

The he proceeded to look down to his book like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“So, you like him?”

Avi’s face went red. “Maybe that’s none of your business!”

“ _Shhh_!” Said the librarian, who had been looking at them for the past five minutes with the meanest stare.

“Sorry,” Johann and Avi whispered in unison.

They each focused on their own books for a while, until Avi was the first to break the silence.

“What about you?”

Johann raised an eyebrow. “I don’t like anyone.”

“Not that!” Avi said, his face going the lightest shade of pink. “I’m talking about the thing you were doing the other friday, how is it going?”

Johann’s eyes went wide. “How did you-?”

“Know you’re plotting something? Well, first,“ he raised a finger, “you and I were the only people left on school that day; _I_ was training for the team, you must’ve had a reason too.” He raised a second finger. “You spend a lot of time looking around the school.” He raised a third finger, “Today I saw you leaving the vice principal’s office. And finally,” he raised a fourth finger, “It may or may not have something to do with that Voidfish cult?”

Johann glared at Avi, but if he was truly angry with someone, it was himself for being so obvious. He sighed, too tired to come up with a believable excuse. “I’m just looking for a place to stay after hours.”

Avi looked surprised, not at the answer but the simplicity of it. “That’s it? I thought you were planning a heist or something.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Like there was something of value in this school I wanted.”

Avi shrugged. “Some people do that sort of stuff for the adrenaline, you know? Like that one time Magnus and I sneaked a dog in school and-“

“It’s not a heist,” Johann reiterated.

“Then why do you need somewhere to stay after class?”

“I just have to work on…” Johann stopped himself from revealing too much, “stuff.”

“Sounds pretty suspicious, if you ask me.”

“Maybe it’s none of _your_ business.”

Avi raised his hands in defeat. “Alright, I’m not gonna pressure anymore.”

“Thank you very much.”

“But just saying, if you told me what it was about maybe I could help you find a place. I’ve found a lot of hidden gems fetching the ball for the seniors.”

“It can’t be outside, too much noise.” And people could see, though he hoped that part was implicit without him having to say it outright.

Avi hummed in thought. “What kind of place are you looking for, then?”

“It just needs to be indoors.”

“Like an empty classroom?”

“I thought of that at first, but they lock those after school, and only lend you the key if you have a staff approved club.”

“That’s why you were talking to the vice principal earlier?”

“Yes, but he didn’t approve my idea. Of course, the weirdos at the Voidfish Committee get a room all for themselves because one of them is the son of a teacher.”

Avi laughed. “You have a vendetta against them?”

“I don’t! They just-“

“ _Shhhh!_ ”

“Sorry!” Johann and Avi said.

Johann continued. “They just piss me off. I was told I could use the room they have now, but of course they need it more than me, since they need to keep that big ass jellyfish somewhere, I guess.”

“Wait, did you say jellyfish?”

“Yeah, it’s like, the size of a door.”

“Woah.”

“I know.”

Avi crossed his arms and hemmed, deep in thought. Johann looked down at the sheet of algebra problem still left, still confusing.

“Why don’t you just join the Voidfish Committee?”

Johann stared at Avi. “What?”

“Then you could use the room, right?” Avi spoke like he had just solved another algebra problem.

“That’s not how it works,” Johann said. But then, he really thought about it. “Or is it?”

“You can try,” Avi said.

Johann must’ve been really desperate, because he was actually considering it.

“But first,” Avi said, “we need to do good in this test.”

Johann groaned, but at least the prospect of talking to those assholes at the Voidfish Committee didn’t seem as bad in comparison.

***

“You again?”

On second thought, at least algebra didn’t talk back to him in that tone. But he was already there, violin on his back. No turning back now.

“Lucas, who is it?” Came the voice of a woman inside the room. Johann recognized it as Professor Miller, from Natural Science class. She was holding a camera tripod in place while the girl from the other day stood in front of the jellyfish tank, taking notes.

The guy, Lucas, answered her in a much more nicer tone than he had used with Johann. “No one, m- I mean, Professor Miller.” Johann was wondering how long would it take for him to slip and call the teacher mom, if that hadn’t happened already.

Lucas turned back to Johann and said, “As you can see, Professor Miller and us are working, so why don’t you go bother someone else?”

“I want to join the Voidfish Committee.”

Professor Miller and the girl turned around at the same time.

“That’s wonderful!” Said Professor Miller. She moved past Lucas and opened the door fully. “Come in, come in! We were just about to start an experiment!”

“Mom!” There it was. “You can’t just let people inside, what if he contaminates the- the samples!”

“Oh, don’t be like that. You know we can use all the help we can get.” She turned to Johann. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“It’s Johann.”

“Johann! It’s a pleasure having you here with us. I’m Professor Maureen Miller, this here is my son Lucas, and Lucretia is over there with our test subject.”

Lucretia nodded in acknowledgement. The Voidfish didn’t do anything.

“He’s not help!” Lucas insisted. “He’s just some guy who comes here to be a nuisance.”

“Are you this friendly with everyone?” Johann said sarcastically.

“Only to people who come into _my_ projects and mess with _my_ experiments.”

“ _Lucas_ ,” Professor Miller warned.

“No,” Lucretia said, for the first time in their conversation. This took even Professor Miller by surprise, who stopped her tour around the room to listen. “Lucas is right. You’re not here to help, are you?”

And now everyone was staring at Johann.

He sighed. “Fine, I’m just looking for a place to practice with the violin after class. I don’t really care what it is you need me to do as long as I can stay.”

“I knew it!” Lucas pointed at him accusingly. “You’re just an opportunist, I bet you don’t even like jellyfish!”

“What do you play?” Lucretia asked.

Johann shrugged. “A bit of everything.”

Lucretia walked to the end of the room, where an old radio player sat. She opened it, took the CD inside of it, and walked back with it to show Johann. “Do you know any of these?”

Johann read the label: classics of violin, featuring big names like Mozart, Vivaldi, Corelli and, of course, Bach.

“I know some of these, yes.”

“Then chose one and play,” Lucretia said.

Johann stared at her with wide eyes. Was this girl for real? But neither Lucas nor Professor Miller thought her request was strange. In fact, they all seemed expectant now.

This is why Johann hated having his violin out in public. Well, what other choice did he have?

He took his violin out of his case and stood in position while everyone watched. He breathed in, then out, and played the first movement of [Bach’s first partita.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuWNXezINX0)

Something magic happened.

“Oh my god…” Lucas said.

“Hot diggity shit.” Lucretia whispered.

As for Johann, he had no words.

The Voidfish was glowing.

“I’m getting the camera!” Professor Miller said, running to the side. “Lucas, kill the lights. Lucretia, the curtains. And Johann, whatever you do, _don’t stop playing.”_

“Yes, ma’am!” The three of them said.

In the dark, the glow of the Voidfish was indescribable beautiful. Johann didn’t know jellyfish could do that, but he didn’t care at this point.

Sure, he could play for a jellyfish. At least it had good taste in music.

***

Their next math class, and for the first time ever, Johann was the one to start a conversation. “It worked!”

“Hm? Oh, you’re in a good mood today!”

“Don’t act so surprised,” Johann said, but he couldn’t find it in himself to frown at that. “I joined the Voidfish Committee.”

“No way! You sold your soul to the cult?”

Johann thought about it. “Kinda, yeah.”

Avi laughed. “Well, I’m happy for you! Your mission is over now.”

However, finding a place to stay after class was the first step. Johann still had a lot to work on.

Which reminded him, “How is your training going?”

“Well, you know,” Avi shrugged, “It’s a process.”

“Because I’ve been thinking, you kicked that ball pretty strong when you hit yourself.”

Avi blinked a couple times. “... Did I?”

“It had to be a good kick to bounce on the lamppost and knock you down like it did.”

“Huh.”

“Good morning class,” the math teacher entered the classroom with a stack of papers in hand. “I have your results here. Don’t forget to study what you got wrong for the next test.”

When Johann was handed his test, he grimaced.

“We can study together for the next test too,” Avi said.

Johann took that offer.

***

The deal was, then, that Johann would get the Voidfish room for himself on Tuesday and Thursday after class. He didn’t have to feed the Voidfish, only record it and take notes on any strange behavior and report later to Professor Miller.

It was a beautiful creature, there was no denying that. When he saw it, Johann felt the need to reach out to it. To try and understand it…

But the Voidfish was a shy creature, and it would swim away every time Johann tried to approach it, which was fair. He was still a stranger.

The sound of cheers and yelling came from the window. The Voidfish room wasn’t made with sound quality in mind. From this side of the building, the football field could be clearly viewed. The team was cheering on something Magnus had done, if the small crowd of people high fiving him was any indication. Avi was among them, of course.

Johann took out his violin and sheet music to decide what to play that day. He would need to get a music stand.

Another sound from outside caught his attention. It wasn’t as loud at the last one, but it was one he recognized. Avi was on his own corner in the field, trying to kick the ball into the goalpost. Something was different from the last time, though. He was standing with his left shoulder to the front, ready to kick the ball at an angle. He looked determined.

Before he even understood his own gut feeling, Johann got his phone out, started a video, and waited.

Avi took a step forward and kicked the ball with the side of his foot. It didn’t cross between the goalposts, but it fell pretty far.

Avi stood in disbelief for a moment before shouting to the sky. “That’s it!”

No one was around to see his achievement, but he looked happy, and it made Johann happy too. You couldn’t help rooting for Avi.

Johann stopped the video and went back to his own work.

***

What’s the difference between a marching band and an orchestra, anyway? The instruments you can play in each aren’t very different. In fact, you could find a place for every band instrument in an orchestra if your repertoire allowed it. However, the same couldn’t be done for the opposite case. The violin is an important piece in a symphonic orchestra, for example, but the sound of it would get lost amongst all the winds and percussion in a band. There was also the fact that marching bands played in open spaces, not ideal acoustic for an orchestra, as well as during sports matches, where there was even more noise around.

Avi was used to the noises of a game, the yelling, the running, the sound of his own foot hitting the ball. He focused on those sounds as he trained to keep himself grounded.

After practice ended, he checked his phone while the coach told them about the plan for next week’s training session. Johann had sent him a video.

Oh.

Huh.

Avi looked up, trying to guess at the source of the recording, until his eyes fell on the last window on the third floor. The curtains were drawn, but a faint glow could be seen from inside.

If Avi listened carefully, and everything else kept quiet for just a second, he could hear a violin playing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1: Sonatas And Partitias for Solo Violin (Bach). (n.d.). In Wikipedia. Retrieved July 13, 2019, from https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonatas_and_Partitas_for_Solo_Violin_(Bach)[2]  
> 2: I know citing from Wikipedia is frowned upon in academia, but this is a fanfic and I’m not getting a grade for this, so take this APA citation and see you later!


	2. Second Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of ghosts, growth, and drama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SO I wanted to stick to a two week schedule but, as you can see, it’s been almost a month. Somehow this chapter turned twice as long as the first so uh. Whoops
> 
> I thought about splitting it but that’s how I end up with a unmanageable chapter count. Besides, i have my story beats planned and i don’t want to break them up. Maybe I will, eventually, but for now I’ll try to stick to my outline for once. If I end up with more 10k chapters, well, more words to you! Tbh this storytelling is turning very experimental for me. I hope you like where it goes.
> 
> Also, I cried writing this chapter.
> 
> Thanks to Tai and Cat for the summer growth headcanons, and the idea for making the team mascot a bobcat.
> 
> Don’t forget to click the links!

Johann thought the whole cryptid deal was hilarious.

“Have you seen it?”

“No, but i know someone who’s heard it.”

“Oh, some people say that’s a bad omen!”

“Guys, guys! I have it on video!”

“Let me see! Let me see!”

“You need to pay attention, okay? Aaaaand… There!”

“... Wait, that was it?”

“I didn’t see anything.”

“No, no, you have to listen. Here, I’m gonna play it again.”

“I got nothing.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

“You guys aren’t _listening_! That’s obviously a violin in the background!”

“You’re full of shit, man!”

They called it the Ghost Violinist, a name that was thrown around as a joke at first, but became became part of the Bob’s culture before anyone noticed. Rumor said it haunted the school after class with music, and anyone who listened to it play would be cursed to fail their next test. The story was started last year, and now, even the new students knew about it.

Johann and Avi passed by the group of first years right when they started shouting at each other.

Johann scoffed. “People are still talking about that?”

“Freshmen would believe anything,” Avi noted in amusement.

“You say that like we weren’t freshmen four months ago,” Johann said.

“It’s been a whole summer since then, we’re different people now!” Then he added with thinly veiled amusement. “ _Some_ of us more than others.”

“Is this about my voice again?”

“Who said that?” Avi looked to the side with fake innocence.

Yeah, Johann had a chance of voice during the summer and Avi was still not over it. He kept joking about waiting for the real Johann to show up one of these days.

“Well, you’re right,” Johann said.

“Am I?”

“Yeah, you’re different people now: two, one on top of the other.”

“Ha ha, very funny!”

“I’m just saying, growing two inches in three months isn’t normal.”

“I know you’re just jealous!”

Oh, Johann was very jealous, but he would be caught dead before admitting that to Avi. Pretty boys like him thought they could get away with any stupid shit just smiling like that.

“But speaking of the Ghost Violinist,” Avi started again, casually, totally not because he had been thinking about it for a while, “did you know they say it only plays on Tuesdays and Thursdays after class?”

“You don’t say.”

“I just think it’s funny. There’s a cryptid roaming around on the same days you and I stay after school.”

“What a coincidence.”

At this point, Avi wasn’t trying to hide the look of suspicion towards Johann. “Guess it’s a matter of time before one of us has a, what was it called? Paranormal encounter with it.”

“Oh, I’ve already met him.”

Avi stopped on his tracks.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, he’s just a dude who died in the nineties. Asked me to tell you he wants his hairstyle back.”

Avi actually laughed at that. “Okay, that was a good burn.”

***

The thing about school rumors was that people were more happy to talk about them than actually fact checking them. The first time Johann heard about the myths that spawned after him, he worried someone would stay late one day and follow the sound of the violin to the Voidfish room.

It had been a whole year since then and no one outside the committee ever knocked on their door, even by mistake. Johann was happy with this. Professor Miller, not so much.

“I just thought more people would join this year,” she said, looking wistfully at the sign on the door that said ‘JOIN THE VOIDFISH COMMITTEE’ in tacky wordart. “Do you know how much I would’ve given in my school days to get to see a voidfish in person?”

“Youth these days don’t understand how interesting marine biology can be,” Lucas said, like he wasn’t a youth himself. He was on his last school year and already acted like an adult.

Of course, that’s where the problem lied. After Lucas left next year, the club would go back to only two members, and not only would that make it harder to care for the Voidfish, the club’s staff recognized status would be in danger as well.

The prospect of meeting new people didn’t excite Johann that much, and after spending so much time with the Voidfish, Johann knew it wouldn’t like it either. It had taken a year for him to even be able to get close without the Voidfish swimming to the other end of the tank. But, as much as it pained both of them, it was a necessary evil.

“Maybe we could change the recruitment sign?” Johann finally suggested.

Professor Miller looked at the sign again. “Why, is there something wrong with my design?”

What was the polite way to tell teachers their work sucked? “Well, you know, the typography is kinda… Lucas, back me up here.”

“I think it’s a good sign. Straight to the point and no nonsense.”

Johann was saved by Lucretia, who made her entrance then. “Sorry for the wait, the library was quite busy today.” She was carrying a school laptop, which was promptly set up on the only desk in the room, and turned it on.

It was one of those bulky models with Windows Vista still intact inside. Despite its appearance, it ran faster than the desktop computers at the computer lab, mostly because students didn’t try to download League of Legends on these.

Lucretia gestured to Johann, “Care to fill us in?”

“Right.” Johann plugged in the USB with all of last year’s work inside. Several folders, as well as a handful of videos with generic titles, loaded in the root. “So, like I was telling Professor Miller the other day, I’ve started noticing some patterns in the way the Voidfish glows when I play.” He opened the first folder and clicked on a random video. “For example, pieces with a higher tempo make it change colors faster.”

In the video, the Voidfish glowed from blue, to purple, to violet, then back to blue to [ Mozart’s third violin concerto ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48ItagZdwG8).

Johann closed the video and went back, clicking on the next folder. “You can already guess what happens with a lower tempo.” In the next video, the melancholic melody of [Albioni’s Adagio in G-Minor](https://www.google.com/url?q=https://youtu.be/Nl6samrZt5s?t%3D79&sa=D&ust=1565664970207000&usg=AFQjCNEdd5XS3ZBJYdJ7J9QYdCVj8FXSKg) accompanied the slow, almost imperceptible at first shift in colors of the Voidfish’s glow.

Speaking of the devil, the giant jellyfish was swimming closer to the sound of the old laptop, most likely interested in the music, although it didn’t glow. The quality wasn’t high enough for its standards.

“So,” Johann went on, “I separated our sessions by tempo, that’s the number of BPM on the title of each folder. There’s a lot of repeats since I’ve played the same piece more than once.”

“That’s good!” Professor Miller said. “It’s important to get as many tests under the same conditions as possible to assure the results are valid.”

“It’s basic scientific research,” Lucas added.

Johann rolled his eyes. “ _Anyway_. I also compared between works of similar tempo. There are variations among composers, and I think the overall mood of a piece also affects it, but I don’t have hard evidence to support that hypothesis yet.” See? He could use scientific terminology too.

Professor Miller extended a hand towards the computer. “May I?”

“All yours,” Johann said.

The teacher browsed around the files, clicking on a few videos of the other folders, the ones with medium BPMs, and just marveled at the different results each showed. “I see you even titled them by composer, this will be very useful. And this folder titled F, what does it mean?”

“Uh, those are the failed attempts. The Voidfish doesn’t like it when I play the same piece over and over. It took me a while to notice, so there’s more on the first months. The rest are times where I messed up once, and after that it wouldn’t glow anymore, so I had to start again. I was going to delete this, but I forgot.”

“No, no, no, Johann, this is useful too! All of this tells us a bit more about the Voidfish.

“Oh… well, that’s cool then.”

“It’s more than cool, Johann, this is fantastic! Marine biologists have hypothesized about the Voidfish’s intelligence for years, but as far as I know this is the farthest anyone has come to identifying a pattern in its behaviour!”

Heat slowly began to crept up on Johann’s face. He never thought he would be on the level of real scientists. “T-thanks…”

“It’s a good thing we have such a talented musician in the team, right?”

And just like that, Johann’s good mood left. “It’s not-“

“I mean,” Lucas said at the same time, “anyone can play classical music on the radio or their phone, is not a big deal.”

“If you want part in the glory, Lucas, you can take these results home and analyze them,” Professor Miller without an ounce of mercy for her own son.

Johann was actually glad Lucas had opened his stupid mouth to make a shitty comment, for once, but it was always nice when Professor Miller got him to shut up.

“Keep up the good work, Johann,” the Professor said. Then, she looked at Lucretia, “Did you bring the other thing I asked?”

Lucretia pulled a folder from her pack and handed a form paper to the teacher.

“Now, I wanted to tell you guys about this.“ She showed the form to everyone in the room, even the Voidfish, who reacted to it with indifference. The sheet had ‘Winter Science Fair 2018’ written on the title, followed by a form to apply to it. “As you know, I’m in charge of organizing the Science Fair that takes place at the end of Autumn every year. After careful consideration I’ve thought, what better place to introduce our Voidfish friend to the school!”

Professor Miller waited for everyone to take in the notice. It was received with mixed reactions.

“Wait,” Johann said, “you mean, like, moving the tank and all?”

“Of course! How else are we going to do it?”

Johann looked at the tank. It was big, for one, but what worried him most was the Voidfish’s reaction to being moved around.

“That seems like a bad idea.” Johann said

“That’s an excellent idea,” Lucas said, at the same time, because of course he would.

Johann scoffed. “Yeah, because the Voidfish likes being around strangers _so much_.”

“Strangers like _you_ were last year?”

“ _Exactly_ , and it took it an entire year to get used to me.”

“It’s gonna be fine,” Lucretia said. “If it got used to us it can deal with other people.”

Johann looked at her, incredulous. “You’re okay with this?”

“It was my idea.”

And Johann thought she was the sensible one.

Lucretia spoke up. “Look, we need more people to join the committee, and we’re not going anywhere with Professor Miller’s word art signs.”

Professor Miller gasped. “How did you know I used word art?”

“I just took a guess. My point is, pictures can’t show the true nature of the Voidfish. They need to _see_ it.”

They all looked then at the Voidfish. There was no easy way to describe it. The nebula of color inside it’s bell, the dance of its tentacles, _the sheer size_. It’s was pretty damn ethereal.

Lucretia continued on. “Many people don’t even know of the existence of the Voidfish, when they’re one of the most wonderful creatures in our world. Not only are the beautiful, they are incredibly smart.” She walked towards the Voidfish and laid a hand on the glass of the tank. The Voidfish didn’t swim away, she was the only one who could do that. “Imagine what would happen if they just _saw_ ,” she said with utter admiration.

Johann sighed. “Fine, if you say it’s cool then I’m cool.”

“Fantastic!” Professor Miller stood up too, always in high spirits. “With this and Johann’s playing,”

_What?_

“we’re sure to captivate the hearts of everyone who-“

“Absolutely _not_ .” The words left Johann’s mouth before he could control them, and they were _loud._

Silence.

Everyone in the room was looking at him now.

“I-I didn’t meant to yell, professor, I’m sorry-“

“Oh! No, no, I get it,” Professor Miller quickly sat down and put a hand on Johann’s shoulder. “I just assumed you would be okay with this… I’m sorry, Johann, I should’ve asked if you had stage fright.”

Johann opened his mouth to say, _that’s not it_ , but stopped himself. Professor Miller, Lucretia, even Lucas were looking at him with concern. “It’s fine.”

Lucas scoffed, “I mean, the acoustic in the hall is pretty bad, anyway, with so many people walking around. The Voidfish is very picky with the quality of music.”

It was a shitty way to show concern, but Johann was thankful.

“I’m sure everyone will love it no matter what.” Lucretia said. “Besides, it’s fair only us in the committee get to see the glow. Committee privilege.”

Johann smiled. Yeah, it was a good perk of the job.

“How about we start working on our display?” Professor Miller said. “I have some ideas for the stand, we could make some info graphics and-“

“No wordart,” Lucretia and Johann said at the same time.

Professor Miller scoffed. “I don’t get what’s so bad about it, but fine.”

***

“It must have died on the nineteenth century, you can tell because of the music it plays. It’s, like, so avant-garde.”

Avant-garde. The recording was fucking Vivaldi. Johann wanted to smash his head against the desk, but the library had a strict No Mistreatment Of The Furniture rule.

“Sorry I’m late,” Avi whispered behind Johann, which only startled him a little. He took a sit in front of him and dropped his books, pencil case and gym bag on the desk.

Wait, gym bag? Johann raised an eyebrow. “What’s up with that?”

Avi was still trying to catch his breath, Johann noticed. “What’s up with what?”

Johann pointed at the bag, then he added. “You’re still wearing your training clothes.”

Avi winced. “Right, this. I didn’t have the time to change, there was an… incident.”

“You okay?”

“Oh, yeah, _I_ am fine. We were just about to end our practice for today when…” Avi stopped himself. “Sorry, I shouldn’t talk about that here, it’s kinda delicate.”

Johann shrugged. “That’s fine.”

There was a beat of silence. Avi fidgeted on his seat.

“You want to tell me, right?”

“Yes, _so_ bad! This is some juicy stuff. But you need to promise not to tell anyone, okay? This information could get both of us killed.”

Johann raised an eyebrow.

“I’m serious,” Avi said, but he wasn’t serious. He leaned forward, waited for Johann to do the same, and whispered, “There’s been a fight at the cheerleader’s squad. Lup lost her balance during one of their stunts and she accused Lydia of losing her grip on purpose.”

Johann waited a little longer for Avi to finish his juicy gossip, but he didn’t say anything else. “Oh, just that?”

“Of course! Don’t you know who I’m talking about?”

“More of your best friends?”

Avi winced. “Ew, no! I mean, okay, Lup’s chill, we’re not buddy-buddy but Magnus knows her so I know her too. But I’m _not_ friends with Lydia.”

Johann was actually surprised, that coming from Avi was a major insult. “She bad?”

Avi scoffed. “She the worst, haven’t you heard?”

“Not really?”

“... Wait, you serious?”

Johann shrugged. “You know I don’t keep up with these things.”

Avi looked at Johann for a full two seconds without saying anything, until he finally shook his head and laughed in resignation. “You know what? I wish I could be you sometimes. All you need to know is that she and her twin brother, Edward, are bad news.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever crossed paths with them.”

“You’ll probably seen them around. They are like models: tall, neon hair, always walking like they own the place.”

Johann recalled seeing someone who fit that description around. “Well, people like that don’t really see guys like me, so I think I should be safe.”

Avi laughed. “If you say so.”

“Do you have anymore gossip you’d like to share? Since we’re already here…”

Avi’s face lit up for a second. “Oh yeah! I…”

“Hm…?”

“... You know what? It’s not important. We have to _study,_ remember?”

Well it was worth a shot. Geometry wouldn’t study itself. Not yet. Maybe someone would come up with a solution for that in the future.

Somewhere between complements and supplements, [the soft melody of a piano filled the room](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUYrVFl-YRk). Too low, and too far to be noticed at first, at least if you didn’t have a trained ear for it. Johann only looked up when the violin joined.

The sound was coming from outside the library.

Huh.

“Is that the ghost?” Avi said jokingly.

Johann didn’t mind Wagner, but the piece kept playing on a loop, and it was driving him nuts. It kept playing until the library closed.

On their way out, Johann and Avi saw a group of girls with a radio, the source of the melody.

“I guess it wasn’t the ghost after all!” Avi said.

One of the girl’s raised a finger to her mouth. “Shh, we’re trying to catch it.”

“We’re using the music to lure it in,” another girl said.

Johann scoffed. “With fucking Wagner?”

The first girl crossed his arms. “Ghosts like operas, didn’t you know?”

“Yeah, it’s basic stuff,” said the second girl.

Johann rolled his eyes. “Good luck with that.”

They left the building. Once we were out in the open, Avi asked, “What’s so bad about Wagner?”

“It’s trash.”

“I didn’t know you were so opinionated about classical composers.”

Johann glared at him. “I’m not opinionated. I just have ears.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.”

That piece was still playing when they left the school, or maybe it was stuck in Johann’s head. Ugh, this is why he hated Wagner.

“So… the thing I wanted to tell you inside…”

“More gossip?”

“Ha, is not that interesting.” Avi said, “We have a friendly game tomorrow and coach says maybe he’ll let me play.”

Johann looked up at Avi with eyes wide open. “Oh shit, really? That’s awesome, man.”

“I know, right? All my hard work is finally paying off. Coach wanted to make sure I built some muscle before going out in the field for real, since I’m still too light to handle being tackled, but I can survive for one kick.”

“Took them long enough to notice your hidden talent.”

“Ha, thanks.” He hesitated for a moment before adding: “The game is tomorrow at five, if you wanna come? I mean, you don’t have to, of course, I know you don’t like these things, and you have jellyfish duty-”

“It’s fine,” Johann interrupted him. “I don’t have anything tomorrow. I’ll be there.”

Avi beamed. “Thanks! I’ll make you proud!”

Johann couldn’t help but smile too.

***

“B-O-B-C-A-T-S!”

“BOBCATS WILL CONQUER THE PLACE!”

“S-T-A-C-B-O-B!”

“THEY’RE THE BEST THERE CAN BE!”

And the public went wild! Like, real wild. Johann wasn’t prepared to deal with this level of excitement. Everyone else seemed ready to jump at the smallest hint of success from their team. Someone scored a point and no matter the team people went ballistic.

Johann was on the side of the Bobcats, he would cheer if only he knew what was happening in the game. The only thing that made sense right now was the team mascot, Bobby the Bobcat, doing a silly dance to keep the spirits going.

“Go for that touchdown!”

The biggest guy in play ran with the ball towards the score zone while people jumped at him from all sides, but he either avoided them or pushed them aside. It’s no use trying to come in the way of a force of nature like that. He crossed the line and-

“IT’S TOUCHDOOOOOOOOOWN!”

Everyone stood up and screamed so loud Johann couldn’t see or hear anything else in front of him.

“That’s Magnus Burnsides for you!” The announcer said, and people chanted his name. _Magnus! Magnus! Magnus!_

Plays came and went, both teams were pretty tied if the scoreboard was a good indicator (and the only one Johann understood, anyway), but no players’ name was chanted louder than Magnus’. He was scoring more than anyone, too.

“We love you, Magnus!” Some girl in the public yelled at the field.

How long were these things again?

The referee’s whistle pierced through the noise and the game came to a halt, and as the players lined up in front of the goalpost, one of the Bobcats coach called for a replacement.

Johann sat up to get a better look. Avi was entering the field.

He looked back just a second, Johann was too far up the bleachers get a clear look, but he hoped the brief smile that crossed Avi’s face before putting the helmet on was because he recognized Johann.

Avi took his place behind the formation and braced himself. Johann held the seat tightly.

The whistle blew again.

The ball was tossed to the back.

Avi kicked.

“THE BOBCATS SCORE A FIELD GOAL!”

Johann jumped to his feet. “Hell yeah!” He cheered with everyone else as the scoreboard added three points to the team.

The game resumed and people took a seat again. Johann wished they gave them more time to celebrate. That was Avi’s first official field goal, after all.

***

Not short after, but before Johann noticed, the game was over. The Bobcats won 24 to 21, maybe Avi’s kick was the decisive play.

Johann didn’t get to approach the team, busy as they were celebrating, so he opted for the safer route on the opposite entrance of the changing rooms and hoped to catch Avi on the way out.

While he waited, members of the cheer squad started to leave. A tall Elf girl with neon blue hair walked out dressed to lead a catwalk. “You did great today, guys. Props to you Lup, congratulations on keeping your balance this time.”

A second Elf girl came out of the changing room. She was stunning as all cheerleaders were, though she was shorter than the first, and didn’t look as happy. “Yeah, see, it’s easier to watch my step when I don’t have to worry about _being dropped_.”

“Bobcats!” Bobby the Bobcat slided in the last moment to stand between the two girls. He removed the head of the fursuit, revealing an even fluffier Bugbear underneath. “Great game! Who wants celebration tea?”

The neon-blue Elf smiled at him. That smile. It gave Johann chills. “I’ll pass, sweetie. Bye!”

She walked by Johann on the way out. Thankfully, she ignored him completely.

The other girl took the Bugbear’s offer and she and the rest of the team left moments later to the promised celebration tea, and it was only then that Johann could stop holding his breath.

Cheerleaders were scary.

Sometime later, the football team finally left the changing rooms. Magnus Burnsides walked surrounded by his team, each one louder than the other.

Johann reconsidered his presence in the hall. They were obviously having a team moment. Maybe it wasn’t the time for him to be there. Maybe he could sneak out without being noticed…

He could have, had Avi not spotted him right away. “Johann!”

“Uh, hey there,” Johann said awkwardly.

Fortunately for his social anxiety, Avi walked to him instead of waiting for Johann to approach the team. “I’m so glad you could come!”

“Of course, dude, I wasn’t going to miss you first official game.”

“Psh, it wasn’t, like, an official- _official_ game. Just a friendly thing between schools. Besides, the real star of the day was Magnus.”

Johann rolled his eyes. “He has enough people cheering for him. What about y-”

“And Avi’s field kick!” Magnus yelled from across the hall. “Those three points won us the game!”

Avi’s face turned a bright shade of pink. “Come one, man, you’re embarrassing me!” But Johann knew that smile, and the way he looked at Magnus now. He wasn’t blushing out of embarrassment.

Johann felt even more out of place.

“I’m not done with you yet, this was your first game and I’m very proud of you! Come on, food’s on me today!”

Avi looked back at Johann. “I gotta…”

“It’s fine.”

“Thanks for…”

“Don’t mention it.”

Avi gave Johann one of his honest smiles and waved goodbye as he left to join his friends.

Johann waved back and turned to the opposite direction.

His legs took him to the Voidfish room. It was friday, Lucas’ turn to guard the room, but when Johann tried to open the door it was already locked. He had a key, anyway.

There was still some time before his mom would get home from work, so he took his violin and played for awhile.

***

Two months later, the Voidfish was finally introduced to the world, and people loved it.

“Oh my god, is that real?”

“So pretty.”

“So big!”

The Voidfish Committee’s stand on the science fair was a success so far. People were drawn by the sight of the Voidfish, you couldn’t help it when it was right opposite to the entrance. Professor Miller’s doing, of course. Having the organizer of the fair on your side had its perks.

“Come here, let’s take a selfie with the jellyfish!”

“Actually,” Lucas told the group posing for the picture, “it’s called Voidfish. You can learn more about it if you read here-“

“We’re just looking around. Maybe later!”

“Oh, well, see you later… “ but he was left talking alone. Lucas crossed his arms. “Kids these days.”

“Let them be,” Lucretia said. She was in high spirits today. “As long as they remember us, they’ll come back.”

“Are you sure? Because everyone leaves after taking pictures.” Lucas pointed not so subtly at a guy just ten feet away posing against the fish tank for the camera.

“You just wait.”

At least the Voidfish looked fine. They placed the tank behind a line and put a DO NOT TOUCH sign on it, and people respected its boundaries. The Voidfish swam around in peace, showing off its form like the model it was always meant to be.

Johann texted Avi a picture of it.

Avi   
  
come meet your new god   
  
I’m not joining your cult!   
  
For real tho looks dope   
  
I’m at the gym rn but I’m done in 30’   
  
See you then!   
  
🎐   
  
(windchime = jellyfish)   
  
Haha I figured   
  


Johann liked the science fair. The overall public for these events was better behaved than the football fans, for one, which helped with the social anxiety.

The expositions were cool, too. There were your typical volcanoes and non-Newtonian fluids, as well as other not so typical experiments. For example, the guy on the next stand claimed he could bring dead flies back to life. You didn’t need to know about science to find that cool as shit.

“There are two ways to go about this, you see. For example, these here are arctic flies; they can survive under lower temperatures than most bugs. Revival in this case is just them slipping out of hibernation,” cool, Johann didn’t retain any of that, but cool. “The other subjects are regular flies, see, this one here should be ready.” He picked a fly from the bottom of a glass of water and wrapped it around with a napkin. “Now, you would think after drowning for then minutes it would be gone, but look closely. The key is the salt, see-“

“That’s kinda mean, don’t you think?”

The guy lifted his head and blushed when he saw the girl that just arrived. “Lup! U-um, good to see you!”

It was one of the girls from the cheerleader squad (not the mean one, fortunately), and standing next to her was an exact copy of her, only dressed in boy’s clothing and ignoring everything that wasn’t his phone.

Wait, elf twins? Didn’t Avi warn Johann about them?

“Barry, those poor flies only have one day to live and you drown them,” the elf girl said. Her words were harsh but her tone was teasing.

“W-well, see, that’s what I wanted to show you.” He uncovered the napkin containing the dead fly.

Or ex-dead fly, because the moment it was uncovered, it flew away. Everyone saw it leave towards freedom wide-eyed.

“Tadah!”

“Oh, wow,” Johann said.

The elf girl was beyond delighted. “That was amazing!” And when she said it, it was clear she meant it.

Maybe Johann was remembering wrong, these twins didn’t seem like bad people.

“Okay, big jelly, smile for the camera,” the elf boy said as he raised his phone and posed with the tank.

“Jellyfish can’t smile,” Lucas said. “You see, they don’t-“

“Do I look like I care about science?”

Well, _one_ of them was nice, at least.

“You’re like a necromancer,” Lup said, “defying the laws of nature and all.”

Barry’s blush and smile only grew. “Well, I wouldn’t call myself that... _yet_.”

“Ooh, I like the sound of that. What are you planning, Bluejeans?”

“I could tell you… guys. You guys plural. I could tell you if you want.”

“I pass,” Johann said, “I’m still on Voidfish duty.”

Besides, it was clear by the way these two acted around each other that there was some sort of mutual crush going on. Johann’s presence would only make it even more awkward.

The Elf boy rolled his eyes and mouthed something like “clueless”.

“Soooo how is it going here?” Professor Miller came with a handful of snacks and juice boxes for the team.

“Excellent!” Lucas said. “I calculate at least a hundred people have come to our stand.”

“That’s great! And how many new recruits?”

Yeah, about that.

Lucas deflates. “… Zero.”

“Oh… well, there’s still time, I’m sure people will come!” She handed each of them a snack and box of juice. “Now, I’m sorry I can’t stay longer, I have a lot to oversee, but if you need anything just call me!”

Off she went on her mission to bring food to the fair expositors. The Voidfish Committee ate theirs in awkward silence.

“Johann,” Lucretia called, “can you watch over my stuff? I’m going to the library for a moment.”

“Sure,” Johann said, and he walked to her side of the stand. “Are you gonna print more pamphlets.”

“No, we’re still good with those.”

“Too good,” Lucas said.

“I’m going to get a computer so we can play your videos.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea.”

“I hope so.” Lucretia sighed, “I hate to admit it, but things are going a lot slower than I expected.”

“Lunch break ends in half in half an hour, though, do you think we’ll get something?”

“I’ll be quick! Can I count on you to take care for five minutes?”

Johann gave her a thumbs up. There wasn’t anything to screw up, anyway.

Lucretia left, and things were calm for a while. Johann looked at the fair. The number of attendees was slowly going down, with no trace of new people coming.

He checked his phone to see if Avi has said anything, to no avail. It would be a shame if he missed the one time the Voidfish left the room.

Johann started typing a <<where are you>>, when Lucas talked:

“Johann, go stand next to the tank again.”

“I’m looking over Lucretia’s stuff,” he answered without looking up from his phone.

“Just take it with you, man, I need you to watch over the Voidfish before-“ his tone changed drastically. “Heeey, Edward and Lydia, it’s _so good_ to see you two around.”

The the forced tone in Lucas’ words made Johann look up, and he was met with the glacial stare of the two most beautiful people in school. Tall, neon-haired, _twins._

Oh, Johann remembered now. _They_ were the ones Avi warned him about.

“Sorry, darling, can’t stay to chat,” the boy with pink hair said. “We’re here on business.”

“Lup!” The girl with blue hair, the mean cheerleader, Lydia, said. “What a surprise to find you here!” She spoke in a way that made obvious she knew exactly they were going to meet like this.

Lup turned around and stood straight, almost in a defense stance, and so did her brother. The laid back girl in love was replaced by a scary cheerleader again.

“Lydia, what the fuck are you doing here?”

Lydia pointed at herself. “What, just because I’m pretty does it mean I can’t like smart stuff? I heard you’ve been taking an interest in science, too. Oh, but I guess you’re more interested in the scientists, hm?”

Lup’s face went red. “How did you-?”

“Know you like Barry Bluejeans? My dear, _everyone_ knows.”

Lydia’s brother gasped. Lup’s brother sneered. Barry Bluejeans blushed. People around them gathered to see the drama unfold.

And so, Johann and Lucas became secondary characters in a teen movie.

“Do they have to do this shit here?” Lucas whispered.

Johann erased the text he was writing and typed instead:

Avi  
  
theres two sets of twins here is that a prerequisite to join the cheer squad?  
  
Sorry, I just read this. Reception in the gym sucks  
  
Wait, what?  
  
lydia and lup  
  
I think it’s a coincidence?  
  
I dont know if anyone else in the team has a WAIT LUP AND LYDIA ARE THERE??  
  
AT THE SAME TIME???  
  
yeah  
  
FUCK OKAY I’M COMING  
  
JUST GET AWAY FROM THEM  
  
kinda hard since they are fighting right next to our stand  
  


But that last text didn’t get a read mark.

“See, I was willing to turn a blind eye with your… lacking performance. She’s been clearly crushing on someone, I thought, love makes you dumb, all that cheesy shit.”

“You’re the one who’s been sabotaging her and you fucking know it,” Lup’s brother snapped at Lydia. He took a step forward, but was stopped but Lup’s hand on his shoulder.

“Taako, leave it. It’s not worth it.”

“But all of this, your place as my successor, you reputation! … For Barry Fucking Bluejeans?”

The aforementioned tried to hide behind his stand. That was just mean. What was this girl’s problem?

“Who the fuck cares who is dating who” Taako said. “This isn’t a fucking Disney Channel original movie, people can do whatever the fuck they want.”

“He’s right, sis,” Edward said. “Who knows better about TV than Taako? He made it pretty far in that cooking show! Oh, but that was before fucked up during-“

Lup let go of her hold on Taako and stomped her feet closer to Edward and Lydia. “You wanna see how far _you_ can go when I throw you?!”

Edward and Lydia yelped and took a step back.

The tank was behind them.

“Watch out!”

“The tank!”

“THE VOIDFISH!”

Johann was there to hold it before realizing he had stood up from his seat on the other end of the stand. The water’s inertia made it follow its course beyond the glass, and Johann was splashed.

At least the Voidfish was safe. Scared, swimming incessantly around the tank while everyone watched in horrified silence, but safe.

“What on Earth is going on here?!”

Lucretia was standing in front of the crowd with a laptop in her hands, looking at the mess with eyes wide open.

“This is a _living creature_ , for fuck’s sake! How can you be so careless?!”

Lydia immediately slipped into a more fitting persona. “Lucretia, darling, I’m _so_ sorry! We were so shocked after Lup _threatened_ us. We didn’t mean to-“

“You can try that victim shit with someone else, Lydia. Get _out_ of my stand.”

Lydia and Edward dropped their acts and walked away with the same grace they had for everything.

“And you, Lup,” Lucretia said, now looking at the only pair of twins left. “I thought you knew better than this.”

Taako stood between his sister and Lucretia. “You’re going to side with those snakes? Lup didn’t do anything!”

“Taako,” Lup called him.

“You didn’t do anything!”

“She’s right.” Lup said. “I shouldn’t have fallen for their taunts. I’m sorry.”

Taako glared daggers at Lucretia, then took Lup’s hand and left with her without another word.

Lucretia cleared her throat and all the onlookers dispersed. When everyone was gone, she finally dropped the last of her severe act. She ran towards the tank and tried to calm down the Voidfish.

“I’m sorry,” Johann said. “I should’ve been next to the tank, I-“

“It’s not your fault,” Lucretia said. “This was my idea.”

Lucas and Johann exchanged a look. None of them knew what else to say.

“Did you call Professor Miller?” Lucretia asked.

“Yes!” Lucas said. “She’ll be here in a moment.”

“Good. I’m going to need help taking the tank back into the Committee room.”

“I can do it,” Johann offered.

“One of you has to stay here and watch over our stuff, and I’m afraid you might slip and fall as drenched as you’re.”

Johann couldn’t argue with that.

When Avi finally arrived to the science fair five minutes later, all he found was and empty stand and a damp Johann.

“Did I miss the jellyfish?”

Johann nodded.

Avi sighed and took a sit next to him.

“I have a towel in my locker.”

“That would be great.”

***

The next weekly meeting, Lucretia apologized again for the science fair.

“It’s not your fault, Lucretia,” Professor Miller tries to assure her. “Accidents happen, we couldn’t have predicted what happened.”

“I appreciate your words, Professor Miller, but I assumed responsibility for it when I suggested the idea on the first place.”

After that, the meeting was cut short as Professor Miller had work somewhere else. Lucretia excused herself after her, and before Lucas left, Johann heard him say:

“Why does she have to shoulder everything alone? It’s like she forgot we were there too.”

Johann could see this was his way of showing concern, as well as guilt. Johann felt the same, to be honest, but there wasn’t much they could say to make Lucretia feel better, or make it up to the Voidfish.

Johann was the last to leave. He looked at the Voidfish one last time, and locked the door on his way out.

There were still fifteen minutes of the first break left, and Johann had class on the opposite end of the building, so he took the longest route at a slow pace. It was only natural he found Avi after just one minute of wandering around.

Avi was munching on a protein bar when he noticed Johann. “Yo! Why the long face?”

“Voidfish problems,” Johann simply said.

“Oh, shit, is it okay? Did it hurt itself during the science fair?”

“Nah, that was just a scare. The Voidfish is already back to normal.”

“I’m glad,” Avi said, mouth full. He swallowed the bite. “I imagine it must be a pain in the ass to take a jellyfish to the vet. Are there veterinarians who specialize in jellyfish around Moonlightning?”

Johann shrugged. “I don’t know, I just hope we never have to worry about that.”

“Me too.” Avi finished his protein bar, then produced another from a pocket and started eating it too. “But then, what’s worrying you?”

Johann sighed. “The science fair was supposed to attract people, but no one new has joined so far.”

Avi frowned. “No one at all? But everyone at the fair loved it. I saw like fifty Voidfish selfies on my feed that day.”

“They just liked the novelty, I guess.”

“But everyone likes to be around animals!”

“No, they like to pet and play with them, and you can’t do any of those things with fish.”

For a moment, the only sound between them was Avi’s munching.

“You told me you need three people to earn the club status, right?”

“Yes.”

“What happens to the Voidfish if you lose that?”

Something Johann and everyone in the Voidfish Committee was trying not to think about: “The Voidfish can’t stay on the school anymore.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. Lucretia takes the Voidfish with her during the summer, but she can’t keep it with her all year. Besides, despite being shy, Voidfish need company and constant stimulation to stay healthy. Even if one of us could take it home, being alone for eight hours every day wouldn’t be good for it either.”

The more Johann talked, the sadder Avi’s expression got. “That is so not fair.”

Johann only shrugged. It wasn’t fair, but it was how it was. Students couldn’t go against the school for…

He was distracted by Avi getting _another_ protein bar from his pocket. “Dude, how many of those are you carrying?”

“Hm? Oh! Coach gave me a box of these. I need to eat them before practice because I have a heavier work out routine now.”

“And he expects you to eat _how_ many?”

“I mean, two a day is enough, but these are kinda addictive.”

Johann laughed. “Good for you, then.”

“Yeah I don’t mind, I’ve kinda always wanted to be big and strong, like…”

Just then, Klaarg, the Bugbear, passed by them. “Hey, Avi!”

Johann and Avi watched him leave.

”Well, _that’s_ a bit out of my league,” Avi said.

“How come he doesn’t play in the team?”

“Oh, you have no idea how hard coach wants that. He offered Klaarg a spot with the title players the moment he saw him, but Klaarg said his call was with the cheer squad.”

“He’s a great Bobby.”

“I know, right? I can’t imagine anyone else in the role, and I’ll have you know mascot position is fiercely contested!”

That was an understanding. Bobby the Bobcat was everywhere around the school. They pasted his face over every sports related announcement. They sold t-shirts, hoodies, even plushies of him, and people bought them. Honestly, the mascot position sounded more attractive to Johan than playing for a team. Everyone loved Bobby the Bobcat.

… Oh, _shit_.

Johann had an epiphany.

“Everyone loves Bobby the Bobcat.”

“Yes! He’s just a good mascot-“

Johann grabbed Avi by the side of his arms. “Avi, what if the Voidfish was like Bobby?!”

Avi blinked a couple times. “You mean like… a bobcat?”

“A mascot!” Johann exclaimed. “For the school!”

And then, Avi had the epiphany too. “Everyone would want to be in the Committee!”

This was it! Maybe there was a chance after all! The Voidfish had a chance! And wow, were Avi’s arms always this big?

“Wait.”

Johann let go of him like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t. Did Avi notice?

“The school already has a mascot,” Avi said, unaware of Johann’s internal struggle.

Oh, thank god. Wait, no, this was bad. “But Bobby is the sport mascot, right? He’s only featured in games and shit. The Voidfish could be, i don’t know, the science side of the school.”

“Oh, that makes sense! He was quite the sensation during the science fair.”

“And I’m sure Professor Miller will back us up.”

“Maybe the school would even allow it to stay here, right?”

“Oh, shit, you’re right! Maybe-“

_Rrrrrring_! The bell rang. Break was over, and they were still two floors away from their class.

“Fuck!” And they ran for it.

Being tardy in exchange of a life saving idea was a good deal anyway.

***

“Hm!” Mr. Davenport said. He curled his perfect mustache with one hand. “Hm, hm and hm. This is… unprecedented.”

“We’re aware. However, we believe this initiative could prove beneficial to the school community.” Lucretia’s words were clear and to the point. Practiced to the last letter. She carried a notepad with all of her arguments on the ready, but Johann knew she wouldn’t open it once. Lucretia wouldn’t let them come to the vice principal’s office before she had memorized all of them.

“Not to mention the science program,” Lucas added, ready to open the big binder full of their research on the Voidfish to hit Mr. Davenport with the hard facts. “The research could put Saint Robert at the top of the High School science scene.”

Johann nodded after everything they said. He had only his violin, but hopefully they wouldn’t need it. Johann trusted Lucretia and Lucas has this covered.

“I see where you’re coming from, young men and lady, and I like this! I really do! I was delighted when Maureen came to me last year with the Voidfish research project. I always wondered how she got her hands on one, by the way, they are extremely rare creatures, are they not?”

“Yes! And we’re _very lucky_ to have all the permissions to handle one,” Lucas quickly said.

“I don’t doubt it, I just wonder how that would work if the Voidfish was made an official mascot of the school.”

“Transferring custody to the school can be done, too.” Lucretia assured him. “We have the necessary paperwork right here. If you are okay with this, we can even do this right here-“

“I’m going to have to stop you there, Lucretia,” Mr. Davenport said in a more serious tone.

The three of them gulped.

“Like I said, this sounds like a great idea, but what you’re asking is currently impossible for me. Creating a new mascot is one thing, and it took us years to come up with the Bobcat’s name.”

“ _That_ took you years?” Johann said.

Lucretia elbowed him.

“Adopting a living animal on the school’s custody is a bigger decision I am not qualified to make. You would need to talk with the principal first.”

“That’s fine by us, then. Let us talk to the principal.” Lucretia said.

“I’m afraid he’s not available right now, and his agenda is already packed. He’s a busy man, you see.”

Yes, too busy to talk to the students but not enough to play chess with the school’s doctor every Friday at the library.

“Besides,” Mr. Davenport went on, “the principal doesn’t take decisions alone. Any decision that affects the school’s community must be out to a vote with the parents board, and _that_ has its own protocol. I’m afraid we can’t take this project you suggest as it is.”

Lucretia clutched her notes tightly. There was nothing inside that could help them in this situation.

Lucas looked at Johann and pointed at the violin. Johann mouthed, _What_ ? _Now?_ Lucas only shrugged, like saying, _It’s the only thing we haven’t tried_.

God, did it really get to this? Johann was about to take the violin out when…

“What will it take?”

Lucretia was staring intensely at the vice principal.

It startled him a little. Mr. Davenport cleared his throat and said, “For what?”

“For me to talk to take this project to the school’s board. What’s the protocol?”

“Well, only the student council can propose new projects directly to the school’s board. You could take all this you’ve brought here to them and see if they think it’s a good idea.”

Lucretia nodded. “Very well,” she said, and she stood up. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Davenport.”

She walked towards the exit. Lucas and Johann exchanged a look of surprise before following her.

“Good luck with that!” Mr. Davenport said, and anything after that was lost when the door closed behind them.

“It’s decided, then,” Lucretia said as she practically power walked through the hall.

“Wait!” Johann said. Lucretia was going too fast both in the conversation and the walking. “Are you really going to talk with the student council?”

“We don’t have time for that.” Lucretia turned on a stairwell and walked up. “It’s almost the end of the first semester, they’ll only have five months to take our proposal to the board and see them make a decision about it. We’ll wait till next year, make the proposal then and hope there’s enough time for it to be resolved. The Voidfish Committee must last until then.”

They stopped. Lucretia had led them back to the Voidfish room.

“So,” Johann said, “you’ll wait to see who wins the election this year and convince them? What if they say no?”

“That won’t happen.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because I will be the next student president.”

***

The Ghost Violinist mysteriously changed schedules on the second semester. Now, it played on Mondays too.

“What does it mean?”

“I think it’s getting stronger.”

“Oh shit! You think it’ll play on the other days soon?”

“Who knows? Maybe one day it’ll never stop playing! And when that day comes, the school will belong to the dead!”

Johann was just covering one of Lucretia’s shifts in the Committee. She was busy with the campaign now.

Her face in the promotional posters covered the school.

Avi whistled. “She really did it.”

“Yes,” Johann said, “the absolute madwoman.”

“You think she’ll win?”

“Probably, but I’m biased. I _want_ her to win.”

“Right, because of the Voidfish?”

Johann hummed in thought. He wanted the best for the Voidfish, of course, but there wasn’t just that. He remembered, among many things, the science fair. How Lucretia had gotten everyone to leave the stand alone, confronted the evil elf twins, and assumed the responsibility for the Voidfish.

Honestly, people would be stupid not voting for her. “She’s a good leader.”

Avi was happy enough with that answer. “I think I have my candidate then.”

Johann looked at the poster one last time before exiting the main building. It was a good sign, no word art at all.

The weather outside was was merciless. Avi prepared his exit adding yet another layer of clothing over the three or four he was already carrying.

“Avi, it’s just rain.”

“I can’t catch a cold, coach would kill me.”

“I haven’t seen you with less than three layers of clothing since autumn, and it’s been a warm year.”

“I’m just a hot weather guy, big deal!”

“Dude, at the rate you’re going I’ll forget how your face looks.”

To be fair with Avi, it was raining cats and dogs outside. The sound of water hitting the ground was almost too strong to hear anything Avi said.

“At least I’ll have a warm face.”

“What?”

“I said, at least I’ll have a warm face!”

Johann rolled his eyes, but Avi couldn’t see him under the hoodie of his parka.

It was hard to see much in front of them, but something caught Johann’s attention on the opposite side of the yard. Two people walking under the same umbrella, one big like a mountain, the other thin and delicate; one, a human, the other an Elf; one wearing denim, the other wearing a cheerleader squad jacket. They were holding each other’s hands.

“So they’re together now?”

“What?” Avi yelled.

“I said…!” Actually, screw that. Johann just pointed at the sweet couple.

“Oh!” Avi exclaimed. “Yeah, ever since last month’s game-!”

“What?”

“Tell you inside!”

Once inside, a wall of heat punched them in the face.

“The AC is stuck,” the librarian said apologetically. Everyone inside had stripped down to their shirts, and the discarded layers of clothing laid atop the tables in mountains.

Johann, mildly uncomfortable under his three layers of clothing, looked at Avi, who was just about to die of a heatstroke.

“Here you go, hot weather guy.”

“Shush it.”

They looked for an empty table and proceeded to add to the count of clothing mountains in the library’s landscape.

“As I was saying,” Avi dropped the first layer of clothing on the table, “remember what I told you about Lydia?”

“Bad news?”

“No. I mean,” second layer off, “yes, but the other thing where she dropped Lup during training.”

“Yeah.”

“She did it again during last month’s game.”

“Oh shit.”

“I know!” Third layer was taking longer to come off because it had buttons. “So, Lup goes to Lydia and accuses her, Lydia denies the whole thing, and just like last time Lup has no proof, and everyone is backing Lydia up because no one wants to be on her bad side.” He finally undid the last button and slammed the third layer over the table. “But _then,_ plot fucking twist _,_ Barry Bluejeans comes out with the whole thing on video.”

“No way!”

_“I know_! Apparently he heard Lydia and Edward talk about messing with Lup before the game and he prepared his phone to record it.” Avi removed the fourth layer of clothing, finally free in only one …

Uh.

Was that shirt always so tight on him?

“So Lydia was caught, Barry saved the day, and Lup kissed him in front of everyone in the school. And they’re dating now. Oh, and Lydia left the cheer squad. Everyone is happy!”

Avi looked at Johann expectantly.

_You’re staring. Stop staring! Say something!_ “Huh?” _Something with words! “_ Yeah! I mean, cool!” Johann looked down to his calculus book and kept his eyes there. “That’s super cool, good for them.”

There was the sound of Avi dragging the chair back and sitting, and only then Johann dared look up again. The pile of jackets and sweaters covered him up to the shoulders. Johann let out a sigh of relief.

Avi didn’t notice, he was sighing too. “It’s kinda out of a movie, don’t you think?”

“Hm?”

“Barry and Lup! After everything they went through now they are finally together.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean. It’s some Disney Channel Original shit.”

“Exactly.”

Cheerleaders versus nerds, gossip and drama. A real cliché.

“You know, I always thought those teen movies pulled plot points out of their asses, but I guess these things do happen in real life.”

“Art imitates life.”

“I guess didn’t notice because I’m just a side character.”

Now, Avi didn’t find that funny. “Don’t say that! Everyone is the protagonist of their own life.”

“I wouldn’t make a movie about my life.”

“Why not?”

“It’s boring, nothing ever happens to me.”

“That’s what you think! But just because you haven’t found love in a movie worthy manner, or, I don’t know, run for student president…”

“Become the football team’s underdog?”

Avi laughed at that. “I guess! But that doesn’t mean you haven’t done anything all year, right? You’ve grown too.”

Did play the violin every week for a year and a half count as doing anything? Definitely. But Johann was nowhere near where he wanted to be yet, it didn’t count.

“I wouldn’t call it growth.”

Avi seemed to pick up Johann was thinking of something. “Are you sure? Anything above where you started is growth.”

Johann scoffed. “If you put it like that, sure.”

Avi smiled sympathetically at him. “Maybe you’re being too hard on yourself.”

Yeah, maybe.

Avi put a hand on Johann’s shoulder. His hold was strong, more than Johann remembered.

Suddenly, he was made aware again of how much Avi had changed that year. It just seemed like he kept getting bigger.

“Okay, tell me this, have you learned something, _anything_ about yourself this year?”

Something about himself?

Like the fact that he didn’t mind girls at best, and thought they were scary at worst?

Or the other side of that, the thing about boys, how everything seemed too much and too little when it came to them?

Actually, this wasn’t the first time he thought about that. Being gay? He had known for a while, it just didn’t seem important at the time. Not when he had a violin on one hand, a bow on the other, and centuries of masterpieces to learn before the invisible clock he had set for himself ticked away.

But the violin was back in the Voidfish room, and Avi was here, and he was close. Really, uncomfortably close.

And then he wasn’t. Avi let go of his hold. “Just be nicer to yourself, man.” And he smiled at Johann, that nice, pretty smile Johann could never ignore.

Johann just nodded. Words would fail him anyway.

Avi sighed again and looked wistfully to the window. No one else walked in the rain, holding hands under the same umbrella. But he must’ve been thinking of Barry and Lup, right? What else was there to look at wistfully?

***

It was Thursday and Johann couldn’t shake Avi’s words about growth from his mind.

He looked through the sheet music in his binder and played at random. Mozart, he could do easily. Vivaldi was no challenge to him. Albioni had his tricks, but he had learned to overcome them long ago. Bach, he knew almost by heart.

Almost.

The first sonata for violin was at the end, not in the ring but behind the pocket in the back cover. The paper was smooth, even the creased edges, where the weight of all the other pages had turned them flat.

Johann slid the pages out and looked them over. This was familiar, the notes played on his head and he hummed them absentmindedly. It wasn’t the best, he was never much of a singer, the range was way above his voice, and of course he couldn’t do the harmonies.

He was alone in the room. Well, aside from the Voidfish. There was no shame now, no pressure. Just him, his violin, and the giant jellyfish that glowed when he played.

Well, here was nothing.

[The first movement](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3mwVaQIZ1c) was a feeling Johann didn’t know how to describe with words. Bach didn’t need them. He wrote poems with a melody, took the range of human emotion and made music with it.

And that emotion was reflected on the Voidfish. The pattern on its bell changed slowly between cold colors.

The first movement came to an end, and Johann picked up the pace for the Fuga. He tapped his feet to the beat of the [Allegro](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8xTneajT8Q) and read on.

He missed a note on the tenth bar.

“Shit.”

The Voidfish’s glow dimmed, and with it Johann’s motivation. So, he really hadn’t grown in the past couple years.

He could start again, but failing on the second movement was frustrating enough, and if he never reached the fourth it would only be demoralizing.

It was getting late, anyway.

In the end, Johann decided to play something else. Something he knew he wouldn’t fuck up. He took his binder and set it on the desk by the window, and just out of reflex he looked for Avi in the field.

It wasn’t hard to find him, most of the team had already left. Even the cheerleaders were gone. The only people in the field were him and Magnus, and they were just talking. It had to be important, Johann couldn’t hear, but he knew that look in Avi’s eyes, the one he had when he looked at Magnus from afar, like he was the only thing in the world for him, like he wanted to…

Oh.

Johann closed the curtain and walked away from the window.

This was none of his business.

He tried to resume his playing. Vivaldi it was, you could never go wrong with Spring. The cheerful tone would surely keep the Voidfish happy and his mind clear.

But the image of Avi and Magnus was burned on his head now. It was so raw and personal, Avi’s emotions were so easy to read. Johann felt ashamed of himself. It was an accident, sure, but that didn’t make him feel better. It was shame, and something more, something Johann couldn’t name at the moment, and he decided it would be best if he never did.

Vivaldi’s [Spring](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK0ltYwNoLw) was perfect, almost on automatic, but the Voidfish didn’t glow. It knew Johann’s mind wasn’t in playing.

***

Four seasons later, Johann left the Voidfish room feeling defeated. Musical bad days happened to the best of the best, he told himself. At least this one was over now.

Save for the staff, this time of day the school was practically empty, and it was too dark to see anything outside. Spring (the season) was around the corner, but it seemed the world didn’t catch up yet. It was a good thing Johann didn’t scare easily, because this was the sort of scenes that started horror movies. That would be just ironic, while everyone else was living in a Disney movie Johann was about to be the first casualty in a-

There was a sound around the corner.

Johann’s heart skipped a beat.

No, that couldn’t be right. It was his mind playing with him. Think about horror movies and you will imagine all sorts of scary things in the dark. There was a perfectly realistic explanation.

There was another sound. Johann lost his shit.

_It’s the Ghost Violinist,_ was his first thought.

_You’re the Ghost Violinist, stupid_ , was his second thought.

The third time, Johann finally recognized it was a sob.

Someone was crying.

Johann walked towards the source of the noise. He expected to everything from a ghost to, well, anyone else.

But around the corner, sitting on the stairs, he found Avi.

Oh.

Oh, no…

Any leftover fear evaporated as Johann understood what happened.

Once again, he felt like this was something he wasn’t supposed to see. This was something personal, Johann had no business being there.

But he couldn’t bring himself to leave, not with Avi sitting alone. Crying.

How could anyone make Avi cry?

Johann wanted go down and… and then what? There was nothing he could say to make Avi feel better.

What did Johann know about heartbreak anyway? He had never loved someone.

…

But he knew someone who did.

***

[By the time the song started playing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqA3qQMKueA), Avi had stopped crying.

He didn’t recognize it as music at first. Must be the wind, he thought, coming through an open window.

But he didn’t feel the chill, or hear the sound of the rain falling outside.

Then, he realized, it was the sound of a violin, playing right next to him. It’s the Ghost Violinist, he thought then.

He looked up, but he didn’t see a ghost.

Johann was standing next to him on the stairs, holding a violin. _Playing_ a violin.

That was all the time Avi had to think before the song finally caught up to him.

It was hard to describe, he didn’t know about music, maybe there was a word for it somewhere else? All Avi knew was that this violin was playing what he felt. It was heartbroken. It was _crying_. There was no doubt about it.

Avi cried, too. He didn’t stop until it was over.

But it was beautiful. The most beautiful song he’d ever heard.

***

The last note echoed through the halls before fading away, and Johann finally dared to look down.

Avi was still sitting where he found him, looking at him with eyes red, dampened by tears. Johann feared, for a moment, that this had a bad idea after all, that Avi would ask him to leave him alone.

But he didn’t.

“Thank you,” Avi said, and a weak smile appeared on his face.

That was all Johann needed to see.

He walked down the stairs and sat next to Avi. The violin case was back at the Voidfish room, such was the rush with which he left, so he had to put it on his lap and hope it would be okay. What was a little cold, anyway?

Avi didn’t say anything else, so while Johann was still afraid of saying something stupid, he thought there was no harm in offering support. “Sorry it didn’t go well.”

Avi snorted. “So you saw that?”

Shit. “I didn’t meant to- I’m sorry, the window was open and I-”

“Johann, it’s fine,” Avi said. “I was the one who chose the middle of the football field.” He chuckled. “Honestly, I was lucky no one walked in on me confessing.”

_Confessing_. Even knowing what it was, the word still surprised Johann.

“Was he… rude to you?”

“No, no. Not at all.”

“Because I don’t care if he’s twice my size, I will kick his ass for making you cry.”

Avi chuckled. “Thank you, but seriously, he was anything but mean to me. Even thanked me for my honesty and all.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah! It’s cool between us, we’re still best friends.” He shrugged. “It’s just, you know, going to be awkward for a while.”

“I can imagine.”

“So you don’t have to worry about me, really.”

Avi tried to give Johann a reassuring smile. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“You’re still sad, though,” Johann said.

The small smile faded off Avi’s face. What he said next didn’t come easily. “He… told me he likes someone else.”

Oh.

Damn.

Johann didn’t know what to say to that. It just… hurted.

“Honestly, I’m happy he’s found someone too, you know? He’s my best friend, I want him to be _happy_. If he finds that happiness with someone else, well, I-” a sob caught him in the middle of the sentence. Avi cleared his throat. “I’m happy for him too. It’s just…”

He looked at Johann, eyes welling up with tears.

“I love him. I can’t help it. I love him so much.”

Johann hugged him, and Avi didn’t wait to hug him back, tightly, letting another sob out, dampening Johann’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for a while.

***

The world went on, with or without them.

The election would be held out in three weeks, but word around already talked about how Lucretia would be the sure winner. Everyone who knew her could see how good she was for the role, and she knew a surprising amount of people.

Lucas had no time for Voidfish duty these days, as he was too busy preparing for his entrance exams. Fortunately, Professor Miller had found a good way to cover up for him and Lucretia: giving extra credit in Biology to anyone who helped the committee take care of the Voidfish. It was a bandage solution, but it would work for the rest of the year.

After Lydia’s premature retirement, Lup was named captain of the cheerleader squad by an unanimous vote. Lydia would graduate at the end of the year, anyway. The reign of terror was over.

Avi… well, it had been just a day. He would heal, Johann was sure of it, that boy loved life too much to let something like rejection get him down. These things just took time.

And as for Johann, life would be the same for the rest of the year. His life just wasn’t that interesting.

“When were you going to tell me you were the ghost?”

Johann’s soul left his body. Where did Avi even come from?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Johann said in the most innocent tone he could manage.

Avi crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Really? So it’s a coincidence you also stay after class playing the-”

“Shhh! Okay, fine, come with me, just shut up!”

Johann took Avi to the only place he knew they could talk in private: the Voidfish Room. When Avi saw the Voidfish, he, was, to put it simply, bean freaked.

“Holy fuck! That’s a big ass jellyfish!”

“Oh, right, I forgot you never got to see it. Avi, this is the Voidfish; Voidfish, this is Avi.”

Avi waved hello, but the Voidfish didn’t like this new stranger who came to its room and swam away.

“Shit, sorry.” Avi lowered his arm.

“Don’t take it personal, it’s just very shy.”

“Kinda reminds me of someone,” Avi said, half-jokingly.

Well, this really was happening now.

“Yeah, you got me. I come here to play the violin after class. You solved my puzzle.”

Avi laughed. “Why did you start the ghost thing?”

Johann scoffed. “I didn’t come up with the name.”

“Fair enough.”

Avi clearly thought the whole thing was very amusing, but there was something about his reaction that didn’t sit well with Johann. He wasn’t surprised at all.

“You knew.” Johann said. It wasn’t a question but an statement.

“I had my suspicions. You stay after class on the same days it plays, have very strong opinions about classical music, and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you carrying a violin case around, though I don’t remember when.”

“Oh, right. It had it with me the day you hit kicked yourself with the ball.”

“That would explain why that memory is so foggy.”

Johann snorted. “Don’t say it so lightly, you got a concussion.”

“And I got better!” To demonstrate, he waved his hand in front of his face. “Five fingers, see? No sequels.”

“You’re not supposed to do that yourself!”

Avi started laughing, and soon Johann was infected with his laugh too.

They laughed for long moment.

When they recovered their breath, Avi said, “Why don’t you want people to know you play the violin?”

Ah, that was a good question.

How could Johann explain?

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. This is clearly important enough to you to have kept it a secret for so long.”

He could say it was stage fright. The guys from the committee had bought that excuse easily enough.

But the thing was, he didn’t want to lie to Avi.

“Promise you won’t judge me?”

“I would never do that.”

“People annoy the shit out of me.”

Avi laughed really hard.

“You said you wouldn’t judge!”

“I’m not!” Avi wheezed. “I’m not, I swear, you just said it so seriously and I wasn’t expecting that _at all_.”

“Well, you wanted to know!”

“Fair.” Avi sat down, already out of breath again. “Okay, but seriously, for real?”

“Yeah.” Johann said. “It’s just,” what was the nicest way to put it? “People don’t know about classical music, and they think because I do they can ask me their stupid questions, or worse, make stupid comments. The other day I heard someone say Vivaldi was avant-garde.”

“I have no idea what that means.”

“It means she didn’t know shit about what she was talking about.”

Avi laughed again.

Johann crossed his arms. “If you were a classical musician you’d get it.”

“I don’t doubt it,” he said, wiping away a tear. “I’m honestly glad it’s not something bad, like stage fright. You don’t have that, right?”

“I could play in front of others, I just don’t like when randos ask me to play something out of the blue. I’m not a fucking Alexa.”

“Oh,” Avi said, looking clearly disappointed.

Suddenly, Johann felt like a jerk.

“I-I mean,” he rushed to say, “I wouldn’t have played for you yesterday if you were a rando. We’re friends.”

“Ha, I’m glad to hear that.”

And, well, they were already there, right?

Johann opened the cabinet where he kept the violin case and binder.

“What did you want me to play? And no, I don’t know Despacito.”

“You got me, I’ll have to ask for something else! Ha ha…”

Avi’s smile faded, along with his image of carelessness.

“What’s the name of the song you played yesterday?”

Ah, of course.

“It’s Bach’s Chaconne,” Johann said, not bothering to look up the sheet for that one. He knew it by heart.

“Chaconne?”

“ _Bach’s_ Chaconne. It’s a type of dance, so there are many pieces that go by that name.”

“I see.”

Johann stood in position. Having Avi in front of him felt weird. Not bad, just weird. It had been a while since he played in front of someone who wasn’t the Voidfish.

He could get used to it.

The first notes of Bach’s [Chaconne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqA3qQMKueA) played, and with them, the Voidfish's glow came to life.

“Woah!”

“Oh, yeah, it does that.”

The colors of the Voidfish were warm and cold, like the love and grief that inspired Bach to write this partita. Some theorized it was an homage to his wife, who died shortly before he composed it. If someone understood about heartbreak, it was Bach.

Inside the Voidfish room, Avi cried again. His heart was still broken, and it would probably stay like that for a while. The least Johann could do for him was be there.

As for Johann, he was just a ghost. It was nice having a secret, but if Avi knew, well, that was also fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I have nothing against Wagner, I just googled 'most overrated composer' and went with the one that had the pettiest answer. Fun fact, Bach was on the same list.


	3. Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last year is around the corner. Johann and Avi talk about Fortnite, veganism, and the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) i didnt know american high schools have four years instead of three when i made the outline. i do now. welp. for reference, the boys are 17 now.  
> 2) im naming these chapters after seasons, which wouldve gone great with a Vivaldi themed fic. This is still a Bach fic.  
> 3) big thanks to Ari (screaming-into-the-voidfish @ tumblr), who was kind enough to check the jewish Avi bit was correctly written  
> 4) Frederick, Ludwig, Francesca, and Barbara are composer names (Chopin, Beethoven, Caccini, and Strozzi respectively). Figured it would go well for Johann's family.  
> 5) I made a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7IJdawtuKNC66uf7b2UZvS)with the songs featured in this fic. I'll keep it updated with every episode, but I'll also link the songs in the fic for easy access.

It was the second to last weekend before class and time couldn’t move faster.

Avi  
  
You should try to rest now, last year is gonna be tough  
  
i already rested for two months  
  
im just bored now  
  
i miss having something to do  
  
Even tests? yes  
  
Even /math/ tests??? yes  
  
I’m screenshotting that At least you got the time to practice with the violin right? i don’t play at home  
  
Wait, really? I thought that was your thing Why not?

What was sadder than a Violinist who didn’t play? Staying two months without playing after getting used to the rhythm of the school had been the hardest part of summer. Of course he tried to kill time doing something else, like playing games, binging shows, just browsing social media, but he grew bored of these easily. Why do any of that when he could be playing the violin instead?

Sometimes, Johann could hear a melody coming from inside the closet, where his partner rested. The callouses on his fingers ached. Was it really so bad if he played just once? If he walked the small distance from his bed to the closet and opened the violin case…?

“Jo, come say hello to your cousins!” Called his mom’s voice from downstairs.

Johann sighed. No, he really couldn’t.

bad acoustic  
  
anyway gotta go  
  
family’s here  
  
It’s ok! I’m going to be without signal for a couple hours anyway  
  
Ttyl!  
  


With a sigh, Johann got up from his bed. He walked as slowly as he could, already dreading what awaited for him downstairs. He didn’t get to put a foot on the first floor before the two little gremlins stormed past him.

“Johann, can we play Fortnite on your computer?” Said Freddy, practically shoving Johann out of the way.

Johann had to grab the stair rail to keep his footing. “You little- I don’t have Fortnite installed.”

“Can we install it?” Said Lud, running after his brother.

“What? No! And don’t touch my computer!”

“Frederick, Ludwig, that’s no way to greet your cousin,” called aunt Francesca, the twins’ mother, from the entrance. “Johann, my dear, come say hello to your aunt!”

Johann finished his trip down the stairs and received the hug she offered with practiced resignation. “Hi, aunt Fran.”

“My sweet little boy, have you been good to your mother? Here, help me with my coat.”

Johann thought being seventeen and about to start his last year in school didn’t qualify as being a “sweet little boy” anymore, but aunt Francesca always treated him like a little child. She was hundreds of years old, after all. “Yes, aunt Fran.” He accepted the coat and hanged it while his mom and aunt walked into the living room.

“Johann! What’s your password?!” One of the twins yelled from upstairs.

Johann groaned. “I said don’t touch my computer!”

“Why don’t you go play with them, Jo?” Mom said. “You haven’t seen each other since Candlelights.”

“They don’t want to play with _me_ , mom.”

“These kids,” aunt Francesca sighed. “All they do is sit in front of the computer. I tried to enlist them for piano lessons but they never took a liking for it.” She sighed. “Too bad they didn’t turn out like you, right, Johann?”

Johann had to stop himself from groaning again. Every time, why did his family have to bring it up every time they visited?

“I don’t do _that_ anymore.”

“Really? Barbara told me you joined the orchestra at your school.”

“What?” Johann looked at his mom. “Why did you tell her that?”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been done after class? You take the violin with you and all.”

“I didn’t join the orchestra, mom, the school doesn’t even have one.”

“But you’re still playing, right?” Aunt Francesca insisted. “Why don’t you play something for us, then? It’s been years since last I heard you.”

His mother gave him a pleading look. “Come on, Jo, everyone loves to hear you play. You’re so good with the violin!”

Johann clenched his fist.

“Sorry, I have to install Fortnite for Freddy and Lud.”

Before his mom or aunt could say anything else, Johann turned around and went back upstairs.

***

It had been a long summer and an even longer day. Johann collapsed on his bed after dinner. It was barely nine, but dealing with the twins left him so tired he would have fallen asleep right then and there, had it not been from the notification ping.

Without lifting his head from the pillow, Johann reached to pick his phone and read Avi’s new messages.

Avi  
  
I have signal again!  
  
Are you still with your fam?  
  
nah they left already  
  
Did you have fun?  
  
my little cousins made me play fortnite with them  
  
That a yes?  
  
absolutely not  
  
Hahaha  
  
honestly it made me appreciate my summer more  
  
good thing i don’t have play with them for the rest of the break  
  
So what are you gonna do now?  
  
Sit in bed until class starts?  
  
thats the plan yeah  
  
You’ll forget how to use your body if you don’t move man  
  
Go outside! Be free!  
  
its a couple months late for my atrophied body  
  
Nonsense!  
  
It’s never too late to start getting in shape bro  
  
dont bro me  
  
besides i cant run around here  
  
too bumpy  
  
Bumpy  
  
full of construction sites  
  
super unsafe  
  
The let’s go to the park!  
  


Johann stopped typing for just a moment.

lets?  
  
as in the both of us?  
  
Yeah! I just got back home!  
  


That’s not what Johann meant. This was the first time Avi invited him to hang out outside school, and it shouldn’t have felt so weird, they saw each other every day. They were _friends_.

But… something about this felt different. Nice, and different.

8am tomorrow, a run around the park, what do you say?  
  


And then it wasn’t so nice anymore.

you gotta be shitting me  
  
Too early?  
  
try again  
  
9  
  
no  
  
10?  
  
no  
  
11???  
  
does it have to be an am  
  
Yes!  
  
The sun is at its strongest at noon  
  
Sunrise is the best time of day if you dont want to be hit by heatstroke  
  
im not waking up at fucking sunrise  
  
11am. That’s my final offer  
  
Just 10 minutes  
  
Then we can get ice cream after we’re done   
  


Johann’s common sense wanted to refuse and sleep late, like the gods of summer intended. But the truth was, he really missed Avi. It was hard not to when he was his only friend.

fine  
  
but if i faint of exhaustion youll carry me  
  
Hahahaha okay  
  
See you tomorrow!  
  


Avi’s contact went offline shortly after. He was probably tired from the trip.

Johann stared at his phone for a while, not browsing social media or anything, just looking at it, his mind somewhere else. He surprised himself wishing it would be tomorrow already. Johann, excited about exercising? There was a first time for everything.

***

The first time would be the last, Johann decided, when he almost puked his lungs out of his mouth.

Avi was looking at him with an unbearable bright smile. “Come on, man, it’s been only a minute!”

Johann gasped for air with both hands on his knees. “One,” gasp, “minute,” gasp, “in _hell_.”

“Yeah, it’s getting hot already. Too bad we didn’t come here at sunrise.”

“Don’t,” gasp, “start.”

Avi handed him a bottle of water and Johann drank from it like it was the best water from the fountains of heaven.

“Will you be okay if we do five minutes instead?” Avi tried. “That’s only four more!”

Four minutes just like the one he just had. Johann considered it carefully. “Are you paying for the ice cream?”

Avi sighed. “Fine.”

Somehow, Johann made it to the five minute mark without dying. It took other three stops in between, and the moment Avi said time was up Johann collapsed on the grass. He was free.

“We still have to stretch,” Avi said, smiling smugly from above.

“Let me have this,” Johann managed to say.

Fifteen minutes later (the ten it took for Johann to get up and stretch, plus the five to walk from the park to the mall), Johann and Avi finally waited in line to order ice cream.

“Doesn’t eating all this cancel the calories we burned?” Johann asked. ”I do want my calories back, but since you’re trying to grow big and strong and all that.”

“Running five minutes doesn’t burn enough calories to cancel an ice cream,” Avi said. “And I’m fine, we’re still on vacation. I can break my diet if it’s just this once.” The person in front of them moved to the side, and Avi went first. “I want two flavors, lactose free base, no sugar, no syrup, topped with granola.”

“Wow, you really know how to break a diet.”

“I like it this way. What will you order?”

“Get me the opposite of what you ordered.”

Instead of ice cream flavors, the store had trays with fruit for people to choose from, and they mixed them in front of you. Johann stared hypnotized as they mixed and poured his ingredients into two perfect scoops of raspberry and melon ice cream. When it was done, he took a spoonful, and everything was perfect. 

“This makes this whole day worth it.”

Avi pouted. “Aw, and here I thought you wanted to hang out with me.”

“Our friendship is on thin ice right now.”

“Fair enough,” Avi laughed as they walked away from the store. They left the food court and walked around, with no plan in particular other than look at the other stores. “You’ve never had this before?”

“I don’t come to the mall that much,” Johann said, “except when I need to replace my violin’s strings at the music store.”

“Well, I’m glad you liked it! This is my favorite ice cream place. Everything is fresh, low cal, and Kosher certified.”

“How can ice cream not be Kosher? I thought that was a meat thing.”

“It’s about the handling of the supplies, although sometimes they use pig gelatin for the base, which is something I have to look out for.”

Johann stopped eating. “What?”

“What of what?”

“Why would they put pig in the gelatin?”

“It’s made from their bones.”

“Gelatin is made from _bones_?!”

“You didn’t know?”

“No? What the fuck? That’s horrible!”

“Welcome to the meat industry.” Avi shrugged. “Not that the dairy industry is any better.”

Johann stared at the rest of his ice cream. In his hands, he held a testament of animal cruelty.

“... Shit, sorry, I just ruined your ice cream,” Avi said.

After much consideration, Johann ate another spoonful. “It tastes so good, though,” he said with his mouth full.

“We can try the vegan option next time,” Avi suggested.

“Nah, it’s fine, I don’t think I could be vegan anyway. I’m not a fan of greens.”

Avi laughed. “You should eat vegetables anyway, you know?”

Johann was ready to reply with a very clever ‘you’re not my mom’, when he noticed someone standing helplessly on the opposite side of the mall’s hall. “Oh, be right back.”

The guy was looking between his and phone and the closed store’s sign with growing confusion. As he approached, Johann could hear him murmur, “But I swear it was here…”

“Hey, if you’re here for the music store, they moved to the second floor.”

The guy turned around and Johann was momentarily incandilated. To say he was handsome was an understatement, and when he saw Johann he practically started at him with those intense eyes. Shit, he never knew how to talk with hot people. “Really? Since when?”

Johann cleared his throat. It was a simple question, he could answer that. “Only, like, seven months ago? There was a leak on the ceiling right above them.”

“Oh, that’s awful!” The very handsome guy shook his head. “I can’t believe I leave home for a year and the place starts falling apart. Thanks for the heads up.” He turned towards the escalators, but looked back at Johann one last time, like he wanted to say something else. In the end, he just left without another word.

Johann let out a sigh of relief.

“Who was that” Said Avi, who had just caught up with Johann.

“I don’t know, some guy.”

Avi hummed. “It’s so unlike you to approach people first.”

Johann rolled his eyes. Not that Avi was wrong, though. “I just gave him directions, don’t overthink it.”

“He was kinda cute, that your type?”

“I said don’t overthink it.”

But of course, Avi kept overthinking it when they resumed they walk, just not in the direction Johann expected. “You care a lot about music stuff.”

“Well, duh, I’m a violinist.”

“I like how you refer to yourself as a violinist, and not just ‘someone who plays the violin’. You must be very confident in your abilities.”

“I know exactly how good I am.”

“So, is that what you’ll do after we graduate?”

Johann didn’t answer that.

Of course he wanted to, but just because it had been his dream to play professionally since he was a kid it didn’t mean he certainly would.

He still had a lot of work to do.

Avi probably noticed it wasn’t an easy question for Johann, so he didn’t pressure him further. Johann appreciated that of him.

“I want to be an engineer,” Avi said as a way to both change the subject and stay in topic. “Hopefully in a good University, like Goldcliff, if I get a sports scholarship.”

Johann looked back at him with interest. “Huh. That really suits you.”

“Aw, you really think that?”

“You’re good with math and physics, and I can totally see you lifting some heavy machinery around.”

“Is that what you think engineering is about?” Avi laughed. “I want to build things, you know, with my own hands. There’s something special about holding something and knowing exactly how it works.”

Johann hummed as he ate the last of his ice cream. He could empathize with that. Music was a bit like that too.

“I’ll audition for the conservatory at the end of the year,” he said, before thinking twice about it. It was a hard thing to say, after so long, and to someone else. It felt like such a big deal.

But not to Avi, never to him. He took things with such calm it made easier to talk about them. “Good luck with that!” Avi said, and who would’ve thought, it made Johann feel a little calmer too.

“Thanks,” Johann said, “you too. I’m sure you can get anywhere you want with that big head of yours.”

“We’re gonna crush this year!” Avi said with that bright smile of his.

***

Avi  
  
i hate you  
  
Good morning to you too!  
  
i cant fucking move everything hurts so much  
  
Yeah that usually happens when you exercise for the first time in a while  
  
you knew?????  
  
asshole  
  
tell me how to stop it  
  
Your body is not used to the lactic acid  
  
If you want the pain to stop you have to exercise more  
  
no  
  
fuck you  
  
i hate you so much  
  
Hahaha  
  
Ibuprofen might help  
  
it fucking better  
  


***

Lucretia  
  
Johann, can you come early this Monday?  
  
oh hey lucretia  
  
how early  
  
7:30am at the Voidfish room.  
  
I know we usually have our meetings on the first break, but my schedule is already packed for the day.  
  
damn class hasnt even started and youre this busy?  
  
The school year starts early for the Student Council.  
  
Can I count on you?  
  
sure  
  
hey hows the voidfish  
  
It’s doing fine, but I can tell it misses you.  
  
Playing music on the radio is just not the same. Its glow is not as vivid.  
  
yeah it has high standards  
  
ill make it up to it when we meet again  
  
see you two on monday  
  


***

And just because he was so desperate for the summer to end, Johann woke up even earlier than he needed. He got dressed in a minute, had breakfast in two, took the violin out from the closet, and left.

He wasn’t the only one to get an early start of the year. The school was already alive and ready with people from all years. Most of them were club members like himself, carrying around equipment from home. Among these people he saw Avi, who was probably the only person around in a better mood than him.

“You’re early.” Johann said.

“ _You_ are early,” Avi replied in amusement. “What got you out of bed this early in the a.m.s?”

“I was hoping to get to the Voidfish room early and play something before everyone else gets there.”

“I’m glad you can play again! I missed hearing you during workouts all summer. No one on Spotify plays [Chaconne](https://youtu.be/QqA3qQMKueA) like you do.” He said this last part like a joke, but Johann knew it was a request. Avi was careful with the way he worded them ever since Johann mentioned they annoyed him.

Not that Johann would ever say no to him. “Do you wanna hang out with me at the Voidfish room?”

Avi’s smile grew wider, if only for a moment, before he was back to normal again. “I can’t, I was just on my way to a meeting with the football team. Maybe later?”

“Yeah, sure,” Johann said, trying to hide his disappointment. “Lucretia called for a committee meeting in half an hour, anyway. I should be going too.” And he resumed his way to the building.

“Oh! Wait, now that you mention it-!”

“What?” Johann asked, but he was already too far to hear whatever Avi said then. “Tell me in class! See you!”

Johann’s mind was already playing a million melodies in his head. Which should he play first? Something short would be best, that way he could fit as many as possible in the half an hour he would have to himself.

However, when he got to the Voidfish room, the door was half open. Damn, so someone had already beaten him to it? He could hear the voices of Lucretia and Professor Miller inside, and he wouldn’t mind if it was only them listening. But there was someone else, too. The loud and familiar voice of a boy, although Johann couldn’t put a name to it.

The door opened before Johann could even put a hand on it, and he was greeted by the sight of Professor Miller, who seemed surprised to find him there.

“Oh, you’re early, Johann!” She said, and the surprise quickly changed into excitement. “This is just great, we can start the meeting now. Have you heard the good news? We have a new permanent member!”

Well, there went Johann’s practice time.

No, this wasn’t the time to feel disappointed. A new member was good news, no matter-

“Hey! You’re Avi’s friend!”

The loud, big, strong voice shook Johann to its core, and he stood at the entrance of the Voidfish room like a deer in the headlights. Inside, he was greeted by the sight of a big redhead wearing the football’s team jacket.

“What the fu-”

Johann was interrupted by Magnus fucking Burnsides hugging him with all the strength of one arm. “If you’re friends with my friend, then we’re friends! What was your name again?”


	4. Autumn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johann and Avi start their final year in High School.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing the rest of the fic for NaNoWriMo so hopefully the whole story should be wrapping up sometime in December. Apologies in advance for any editing mistakes, since, you know, NaNoWriMo. (god i hope i didnt forget anything this chapter is so big)
> 
> The cool new CSS tricks are all based on [La_Temperanza´s](https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Temperanza/pseuds/La_Temperanza/works?fandom_id=5450) guides. Go check them out if you want to learn ~*the magic*~

It was five minutes before the start of the new year and the auditorium was bursting with energy. Kids from all years filled the seats, each showing varying levels of excitement, but from what Avi could see from the back, everyone was in a good mood. And it was a contagious, too!

He took it all in and smiled. To think this would be his last year…

“Hey!” Avi felt a strong hand push him forward, almost making him trip. “Keep walking. We need to find a row with enough seats for everyone.”

He turned around and saw Killian waiting behind him with her arms crossed.

“Right, sorry.”

Avi tried to make his way through the crowd, not without difficulty. There was just so many people, and whenever he got a group to part, someone always wanted to say hello.

“Hi!”

“Hey there!” Avi said. “How was your summer?”

“Cool, cool. Is Magnus with you?”

“He had things to do, but I’ll tell him you said hi!”

“Avi! Have you seen Magnus? I got something for him.”

“Hi! Not yet, but come by the cafeteria during lunch, he’ll definitely be there.”

“Excuse me, Magnus hasn’t arrived yet?”

“Good morning! Nope, but I’m sure-”

Killian huffed behind him. “You don’t have to greet everyone!”

“I’m being polite.”

“Be polite later! I see a good spot over there!”

Killian pointed ahead of them and Avi saw it: the last empty rows of seats. Perfect.

The football team made its way. One by one the seats were filled, but the last one, next to Avi, remained free. Always save a seat for the captain.

“You know he told us not to wait for him today.” Carey pointed out.

“Oh, you never know,” Avi said. “He likes his last minute entrances.”

“He _likes_ a lot of things,” Carey said, this time raising her eyebrows in a knowing way. “Don’t you think he’d want to seat with his new club for this one?”

“I’m with Avi in this one,” Killian added. “He’s trying to keep it a secret, after all. Let’s see how long it stays that way.”

“I don’t know,” Carey said. “He’s very good with secrets.”

Killian smiled at Carey, who leaned close to her and kissed her cheek. Aww.

A deafening sound pierced through the ears of everyone in the auditorium. The collective cry of pain cut off every conversation until Mr. Davenport turned it down.

“Sorry, sorry. This old thing- Ahem. Is this better now? Can you hear me in the back?”

“Woo!” Someone cheered in the last row.

“Welcome, students, to a new year in Saint Robert of Her Holy Benevolence.”

Someone in the crowd yelled, “Saint Bob!” Mr. Davenport pretended not to hear it.

“We’re beyond ourselves with excitement to see what amazing achievements you’ll reach this 2019-2020 term, be it in sports-”

Everyone cheered. The tennis team clapped loudly, the basketball team stomped in rhythm, and the football team roared.

Carey got up on her seat to yell “HELL YEAH!”. Avi whistled.

Mr. Davenport let the excitement die down before continuing. “In science.”

There was a moment for everyone to applaud. Somewhere in front, Profesor Miller cheered.

“And everything else!”

The crowd remained quiet.

“But before that, we must not forget our school’s core values. It all began sixty-seven years ago…”

Aaaand everyone groaned. The vice-principal had lost the crowd.

Carey leaned back on her seat and closed her eyes. “No better time in the day to recover sleep. Wake me up when he gets to the Bobby part.”

“You’d think he would get tired of going over the history of the school every year,” Avi said.

“You kidding?” Killian said. “He loves that part. His office is covered in old photos and mementos. Well, that and the boats.”

“I haven’t had the privilege to see it myself, but it sounds exactly like something Davenport would decorate his office with.”

Mr. Davenport was still in the last millennia, talking about the year the new building opened. Meanwhile, half of the auditorium fell asleep.

“Don’t you think it’s sad he didn’t mention the art programs in his speech?” Avi said, mostly to himself. Johann would definitely be mad about it.

“What?” Carey said.

“I was just thinking-”

“And then,” Mr. Davenport said, “we met Bobby, our school mascot!”

The crowd went absolutely wild, and it was so loud Carey almost jumped off her seat.

“I told you to wake me up!”

“Sorry!”

But she didn’t stay mad at him.

Just a couple rows in front of them, where the cheerleader squad cheered him on, Klaarg got up and bowed for his public.

This time, the roaring support of the student body took a little longer to die down. Mr. Davenport stared at his watch, a little nervous.

“Alright, I’m happy to see the Bobcat spirit lives in all of you as strong as ever. Ahem. Now, to give a word of encouragement, here’s the principal.”

The principal entered the stage, and with each step he took, the noise died down a little. First it was the cheers, then, the applause, until not even the breathing of the students could be heard.

That was just the effect the principal had on people.

“Students,” he began, “I see before me the future. Your eyes burning with the fiery passion of youth, are the stars that will guide us in the night. I see the wishes and expectations for this new year, the memories you will make, good and bad, and the world that awaits for you beyond our school doors.

“And I see your dreams, big and small. Dreams of knowledge, of love, of greatness.

“Don’t let go of your dreams, my children, because they give meaning to life. Without dreams, we’re truly, only nothingness.”

Only when he walked out did anyone think of applauding his speech.

“Wow. That just gets darker every year.” Carey said.

In the middle of the confused clapping, familiar steps opened their way to their seats. Avi turned around to see none other than Magnus Burnsides coming through.

“Yo, guys! What did I miss?”

“Hey, man! You made it!” Avi greeted him.

“Hell yeah I did! You had any doubts?”

“Carey said you would ditch us.”

Carey struck his tongue towards Avi.

“You didn’t miss anything important.” She said. “What took you so long?”

Magnus shrugged. “You know how it is.”

“Uh-huh. You had any quality time up there?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Magnus said, not fooling anyone.

“Ahem.”

The noise calmed down one last time for their final presentator. Student President Lucretia was standing on the stage.

“I want to give thanks to the school staff, parents board, and students of Saint Robert. I’m happy to start this new year with all of you, and I look forward to our work for a better community.

“During the past years, many projects have been brought to the school board that I intend to see completed. More resources for the science programs, vegan and vegetarian options in the cafeteria menu…”

“Who would’ve thought Lucretia would be up there, talking in front of everyone,” Killian said. “Remember how shy she was in first grade?”

“She’s like a different person now,” Carey noted.

Avi didn’t hang out much with Lucretia back then, but he remembered the quiet girl from history class.

“Nah,” Magnus said. “She’s always been like this.”

Magnus had known her for a long time, after all. Longer even than he knew Avi.

After the speech came to an end, but before they all left for their first class of the semester, Magnus called the football team for an impromptu meeting.

“Hey guys! Sorry again for skipping training this morning. I’ll see you today after class for a friendly game?”

“You bet your ass, big guy!” Carey said. “Same teams as ever?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s time you and Killian play on opposite teams so everyone has a chance to win?”

“Not gonna happen,” Killian said.

The football team dispersed, and Avi and Magnus walked along to the new building.

“Oh, by the way, I met your friend today!” Magnus said. “Short, deep voice, emo hair?”

“Hm? Oh, you mean Johann.”

“That’s him! We’re, like, totally vibing now.”

Avi had to do a double take on that. “Really?”

“Yeah! He’s, like, super chill. Oh, I got class here. See you at lunch!”

“I don’t think that’s… and he’s gone.” 

Johann was many things, but ‘super chill’…

Well, Magnus had a talent for making friends. Maybe things would go alright and Avi had nothing to worry about.

***

“What is Magnus Burnsides doing in the Voidfish committee?!”

Avi sighed. “Or maybe not.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Johann glared at Avi, who hadn’t even taken a seat yet. He shouldn’t have yelled first thing in the morning, now the rest of the class was looking at them weird. But honestly, right now? He didn’t care about class etiquette, or anything else, really. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Avi took a seat and said, “I _was_ going to tell you, Johann, but you ran away before I could.”

“We have texts! We have technology! I don’t know, a little warning before he hugged me as soon as I walked on the Voidfish room would’ve been nice.”

“He… hugged you.”

“Yeah. It was the worst.”

Avi snorted.

Johann punched him lightly on the shoulder. “Not funny!”

“Sorry, sorry. Magnus can be a little… too friendly sometimes.”

That was one of putting it.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Avi tried to reassure him. “I can talk to him about your boundaries if it helps?”

Reluctantly, Johann’s scowl softened. “Yeah, it does.”

“And hey, he thinks you’re chill! I’m sure you’ll get along with him too.”

“I guess I’ll _have to_ , if we’re going to be on the Voidfish committee together. He can’t be worse that pedantic, know-it-all of…”

“Good morning, class,” said Professor Miller as she entered the classroom.

“... You know who I mean,” Johann whispered.

“Nice save.”

When class was over, and Johann was feeling a little better about his situation, he decided the only thing that could cheer him up was some very needed playing.

“You wanna come?” He told Avi.

He didn’t have to ask Avi twice, and they made their way to the Voidfish room.

“My fingers are itching for some Bach,” Johann said.

“Like Chaconne?”

“You know I can play other songs too, right? I even learned Despacito because of you.”

“Hey, I never asked you to learn Despacito, I just asked if there was a violin version. And what’s wrong with Chaconne?”

“You always ask for it and it _always_ makes you cry.”

“Because I like it so much!”

“Do you even know any other Bach songs- hey, don’t do that!”

The Voidfish room was already occupied by two boys, probably second years, standing in front of the tank with their hands on the glass. Though they retrieved them as soon as Johann scolded them.

“Professor Miller sent us!” One of them rushed to say.

“Yeah! We’re on Voidfish duty!”

“And she didn’t tell you touching the tank is strictly forbidden?”

“… No.” They lied.

God, why was everyone getting on Johann’s nerves today? He pointed at the door. “Out.”

The boys left without another word.

Johann walked up to the tank to check on the Voidfish. It was swimming at the top, as far as it could from the side of the glass the kids had touched, and it looked very stressed.

Johann sighed.

“Everything okay?” Avi asked.

“Yeah, it just doesn’t like people very much.”

“Reminds me of someone I know.”

Johann glared at Avi. He would kick him too, but a promise was a promise. Besides, the music would help the Voidfish feel at ease again.

Johann got his violin out, finally, after months of wait. He tested the strings and coated the bow with resin.

That smell took away all of his problems.

“So… Chaconne?” Avi said. “Come on, just this once?”

It wouldn’t be “just this once” and Johann knew it, but he played it anyway.

***

The good news was that Johann wouldn’t have to deal with Magnus every single day of the week, as his shifts in the Voidfish room were still on days the football team had practice. Looking down on the field, seeing him run with the rest of his jocks from three stores up was as close as he needed to get.

The view from the third floor was better than down in the bleachers, why did people even watch sports that way? You could barely tell what was going on from the sides. Johann still didn’t know much about football, but at least up there it was easier to tell when something important happened.

Magnus ran with the ball. He reached the opposite end of the field without once being stopped by the handful of players running towards him, and when he scored, and everyone cheered.

No doubt a big, strong and loud guy like him would be so popular around the sports crowd, but why did he join the Voidfish committee? Science people were practically the polar opposite of that man. Johann could hear Lucas’ reaction to him perfectly:

“He can’t be here! He could break the samples!”

That’s when Johann noticed Avi waving at him. When he waved back, Avi smiled, and everything was good for the rest of the day.

Unfortunately, the Voidfish Committee still had weekly meetings, and there was no getting around talking with Magnus in these.

“Yo, Johann! Good morning!”

Johann instinctively recoiled at the noise, but Magnus didn’t try to hug him this time. He sighed in relief, thank _god_. He could still live without the loudness, though.

As luck would have, they were the first in the Voidfish room that morning, but Magnus alone was big enough to fill everything by himself. He looked at everything with childlike amazement. Maybe he wouldn’t try to make small talk with Johann. Maybe they could stay like that, in awkward silence, until someone else came and Johann wouldn’t have to deal with him.

“So, how long have you known Avi?”

Yeah, life wasn’t that easy.

“First year,” Johann said, hoping a short and direct answer would clue Magnus into knowing Johann didn’t want to talk.

“Right, right! I think I remember him talking about you back then.”

“He… talks about me?”

The thought of Avi talking about Johann with his friends was… well, it wasn’t bad. Kinda weird, but not bad at all. Johann just didn’t expect it.

“It’s cool he has more smart friends, you know? Me and the guys from the team aren’t really into math and stuff.”

Johann grimaced. “Ugh, not at all, I hate math. He’s the one who helps me study.”

“Ooooh, I see! So that’s how you became friends.” A proud smile crossed Magnus’ face. “That’s so like Avi, helping others all the time.”

“It was more like him returning the favour after I helped him during his accident, but yeah, he’s a good guy.”

“Wait,” Magnus said, looking confused, “what accident?”

Was he for real? This guy didn’t remember his own best friend’s accident? “In first year? When Avi kicked a ball so hard it-”

“Oh! Yes! When he sprained his leg!”

Now Johann was feeling confused. “Uh, what?”

“Yeah, yeah, he told me about that!” He laughed. “Kicked the ball so hard he tripped! Man, that must’ve been so fun to see. I remember now! You were the guy who took him to the infirmary!”

It hadn’t been a laughing matter when Avi fell _unconscious_. After that? Yeah, it was kinda funny, he was all groggy and dumb, but he still got a concussion.

Magnus was still laughing. “Man, I wish I had been there. But hey, thanks for saving Avi’s kicker career. You know the team wouldn’t be the same without him now.”

“That’s not how-”

Lucretia showed up right then. “Good morning, boys.”

“Yo, Lucretia!” Magnus replied in his way too loud voice.

Johann decided to leave it be.

When Lucretia entered the room, Magnus immediately walked up to her, like he was about to hug her, but stopped in the very last moment and acted like nothing had happened. Good to know Avi warned him about everyone’s boundaries and not just Johann’s.

Lucretia didn’t seem bothered by him, probably hadn’t even noticed as she made a beeline to the Voidfish. She put a hand on the tank and, slowly, the Voidfish swimmed to meet her. Lucretia hummed in thought, while Magnus looked at the two of them mesmerized.

Something about it all made Johann feel out of place, but he couldn’t tell what exactly.

“Oh, good, everyone’s here already.”

Professor Miller entered the room and let her bag and books fall onto the nearest table with a thud. Then, she sat down and sighed the biggest sigh ever uttered in the school. Wow, the second week of class and she was already stressed.

“I have some concerns I’d like to discuss, but if you have any updates on the campaign I’d love to hear them, Lucretia.”

Lucretia left the Voidfish’s side and sat down. “I took the project to the principal last wednesday, so he could submit it to the Parents’ Board. I’m awaiting for his reply.”

“Oh! Well, It’s still early in the year, after all. We’re not going to get much for now. Anything else?”

“Not on my end.”

She looked at Johann, who just shrugged, and since Magnus was the new guy he wouldn’t have anything important to add.

“Okay, then!” She sighed and her mood changed drastically. “Okay, team, we need to set up some boundaries here.”

 _Completely agree there_ , Johann thought, as he glanced at Magnus. He knew his presence there would be noticed by everyone sooner or later. Lucretia probably felt the same as Johann, as she was even more of an introvert than him. Professor Miller, not so much, but even she had to admit-

“I’m afraid not all of my students are privy to the basic cares of a jellyfish.”

Oh. Well, yeah, that made sense.

“I saw some of them touching the tank last week,” Johann said.

“They what?!” Lucretia asked, almost standing up from her seat.

“Oh, and you want us to kick their asses?” Magnus said jokingly- He was cracking his knuckles oh God this guy was serious.

“Okay, okay, let’s not get _too_ worked up over it. Yes, _some_ of them do that, others just make a mess of the room or scare the Voidfish. I admit it’s my fault, it seems my guides are not clear enough.”

“Don’t say that, Professor,” Lucretia said. “Your guides are just…”

“Long?” Johann mouthed.

“Thorough,” Lucretia said.

“If it’s too complicated for the kids, maybe we should make a summary.” Magnus said. “Like a Do’s and Don’ts?”

“That’s and excellent idea, Magnus! See, guys? I knew some fresh ideas is all we needed here.”

Nevermind that he had just suggested beating some kids over it.

Johann had to fight the urge to groan. Of course Magnus would win over Professor Miller.

With little more than paper and pencil, they wrote up a list of basic needs for the Voidfish on one side of the tank, such as feeding hours, and a list of boundaries in the other:

** VOIDFISH BOUNDARIES **

**** **1\. DON’T TOUCH THE VOIDFISH TANK**

**2\. DON’T APPROACH THE VOIDFISH SUDDENLY**

**3\. DON’T MAKE LOUD NOISES NEAR THE VOIDFISH**

“Are we forgetting anything?” Johann asked Lucretia.

“This should be enough for now. Hopefully the kids won’t try anything else we didn’t think of. People behaved well during the science fair last year and we had less to go by than this.”

Ah, the science fair. Johann had been thinking about it, too. “Are we doing it again this year?”

Lucretia sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a good idea after what happened, but we need the student body to get to know the Voidfish if we want the campaign to go well.”

Johann lowered his tone of voice and asked, “Is that why we let big muscles over there to join us?” And he pointed at Magnus, who was asking Professor Miller to repeat the feeding instructions of the Voidfish for the third time.

Lucretia gave Johann a severe look. “Yes, Johann, that’s exactly why he’s here,” she answered in the same tone as him. “Do you have a problem with that?”

“Don’t you?” He asked. “He’s just so…” He gestured with his arms, extending them as if to say “big” or “loud” or “real fucking annoying.”

Lucretia raised an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean. He’s not exactly the science-y type.”

“Neither are you.”

Johann scoffed. “I’m different. I’m a musician.”

“And he’s good with animals, that’s why I _invited_ him.”

Johann opened his eyes wide. “You what?!” It was really hard to whisper and yell his indignation at the same time. He expected this from Professor Miller, but not _Lucretia_. 

“You don’t have to get along with Magnus, but we need him. The _Voidfish_ needs him.”

Johann crossed his arms. Fine. He could understand that, and when she put it that way it also made him feel like a jerk. Whatever. He’ll learn to live with Magnus crowding up their space for the rest of the year, because he was the school’s favorite jock whom everyone loved and he was touching the tank Johann was right and Magnus was the asshole!

“Dude!” Johann yelled. “That’s literally the first rule in the…!”

He couldn’t finish what he was saying.

The Voidfish was leaning against the glass. Against Magnus’ hand.

“What? Oh! Sorry!” Magnus retrieved his hand and took a step back. “Totally my bad, dude! Not gonna happen again.”

The alarm bell for the next class period rang, and one by one the member of the Voidfish said their goodbyes and left. Johann just stood there, glaring at the tank.

“You… you traitor!” He muttered before leaving.

***

The last waves of summer washed over the school as the last bell of the day rang. The strongest days of heat were gone, but people still talked of visiting the pool nearby before it closed in autumn. And it was hot as hell. No one stayed longer than they had to in school unless they had club activities, got detention, or were an angry violinist.

Johann was alone in the back of the old school building, playing [Summer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g65oWFMSoK0) in the heat like Vivaldi had intended.

Avi found him there, just as the piece came to an end. He didn’t look surprised, which said more about the state of Johann’s life than anything.

When Johann put the violin down, he realized how exhausted he was, and drenched in sweat, too. Gross.

“Which one was that?” Avi said.

“Vivaldi’s Summer,” Johann replied between gasps.

“Huh.” Avi took notice of Johann’s state and offered him some water from the bottle he carried everywhere. “You know, I’m not versed in classical music as you are, but I don’t remember Summer being that angry.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Johann opened the water bottle and took a long gulp from it. Okay, maybe he did play with more force than was necessary.

“Why are you playing out here, anyway? Won’t you get caught?”

Johann wiped a water droplet from his chin and said, “Nah, no one stays after school this early in the year.”

Avi raised his eyebrows. “then why aren’t you playing with the Voidfish?”

Just then, Johann decided it was the right moment to focus on putting the violin away. “I’m mad at it,” he muttered.

Avi walked closer. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”

Johann was looking down at the violin case. “I’m mad at it.”

“At what?”

“… The Voidfish.”

“What? Why?”

Johann closed the violin case with a thud. “Because it’s a backstabbing bastard!” He stood up, hung the violin case on his shoulder and walked into the building. “You know what it did today at the meeting?”

Avi stared at him with a perfect mixture of confusion and amusement. He followed suit into the building.

“Your best friend put his hand on the tank and the Voidfish leaned on it!”

“Wait, the Voidfish let Magnus touch him?!”

“No, I mean, through the glass.”

“Oh! … So, why is that bad?”

“It never does that! Only with Lucretia, and she like, raised it or whatever. I’ve been in the Voidfish committee for two years! Two! And it still swims away if I move too fast or drop something real loud! Then this muscle brain comes in and suddenly they are all… all…”

“Buddy-buddy?”

Johann groaned. “I don’t get it! Why him?! What does the Voidfish see in him?

“Wait,” Avi said, visibly amused, “are you _jealous_?”

Johann glared at Avi. “I’m _not_. It’ righteous anger.”

They walked in silence for a while. Usually, Johann would take his violin to the Voidfish room, but as it was mentioned before, he was still angry with it, so he had to store it in his locker for the day, and that was a longer walk.

“You know, jealousy is a normal emotion to feel.”

“Not jealousy,” Johann repeated.

“Well, whatever it is you’re feeling. But think of it this way: if the Voidfish likes him, it must be for a good reason! You said it yourself, it has very high standards.”

Johann scoffed. “So it likes Magnus _and_ Vivaldi, I guess.”

They finally reached Johann’s locker, and while he got the violin safely inside, Avi continued.

“Look, I know being around Magnus can be… overwhelming sometimes, but he’s a good guy. He’s my best friend, and I like to think I have very high standards too.”

Johann rolled his eyes. “I get it, you befriended me.”

Avi laughed. “And I mean it. Just how I trust you, I trust Magnus.”

Johann closed the locker’s door.

“Then why did you lie to him about your accident?”

Avi’s smile froze. “I’m sorry?”

“He thinks you sprained your leg.” Johann turned to Avi. “Why didn’t you tell him it was a concussion?”

In just a matter of seconds, the air between the two of them became a lot more tense. Avi tried to keep his smile intact, but it was obviously forced.

“W-well, it’s kind of embarrassing, you know?” He said between laughs. “How do you tell the guy you like you got a serious injury trying to impress him?”

Ah. Right.

“But that one’s on me,” Avi assured him. “Now that we’re both over the whole deal I should tell him, it’s only fair.”

Johann clutched to his backpack tight and walked towards the stairs.

“And my point still stands,” Avi said, walking along with him, as if nothing had happened. “Just give him a chance, please?”

Johann looked back at Avi, and he saw the implied “for me” in his expression.

It wasn’t fair how well it worked.

They went on their separate ways home after Johann reluctantly promised to give it a try, and when he was alone, he tried to tell himself he could do that for Avi. But their conversation repeated itself on his mind all the way home.

_Are you jealous?_

Jealous of what? It just made no sense.

***

Maybe Avi was being unfair with Johann. The truth was, the idea of having his two favorite people be friends with each other sounded good in theory, but Magnus and Johann didn’t really have anything in common beyond their love for big glowing jellyfish.

Then again, neither did Johann and Avi. Knowing as much as he did about Johann now, it was amazing the two of them got along so well on the first place. They only ever met because of the accident…

…

What if Magnus-

God, no, the thought was mortifying.

“Face up!”

“Huh?”

Avi got a ball to the face.

Killian walked towards him with another ball on her hands. Avi recoiled, but she didn’t do anything with it. Yet. “What was that for?!” He cried.

“Coach has been calling us for a minute now. Get your head off the clouds, man.”

Avi looked at the side of the field, where everyone waited for them. Whoops.

The coach gave him an accusatory look, and for a moment Avi feared he would scold him in front of the team. Fortunately, it didn’t get to that. “Listen up! You know we have our first game of the season coming next friday, so I want every one of you in top shape.”

“Yes, coach!” Everyone said.

“We’re playing against Goldcliff, so don’t let your guard down! They’re our fiercest rivals.”

“Yes, coach!”

“Magnus,” coach said, and Magnus stood a little bit straighter. “You’re our star player, but don’t let that get in your head. As the captain of the team, is your duty to make sure everyone is in top shape. Have you reviewed the tapes I sent you?”

“Yes, coach!”

“And you learned anything?”

“The Goldcliff team has a pretty solid defense plan, but we can break them, right guys!?”

“Yeah!” The team cheered.

“We’re gonna crush this season!”

“Hell yeah!”

“Who are we?!”

“The Bobcats!”

“And what do we do?!”

“We conquer!”

“We conquer it all! Let’s go!”

Once practice was done, Avi approached Magnus before he got snatched by someone else.

“Magnus! Got a minute? I kinda wanted to talk…”

“Is this about your position again? Because I’m set on stone for that, man, you deserve a place as a title player.”

Oh, boy, Avi was really trying not to think about _that_. “Nah, man, I’m totally, one hundo percent cool with that.”

“Are you sure?”

Avi’s voice cracked. “Yep.”

“Because you’re kinda sweaty now. Are you still nervous-?”

“So! Remember the talk we had the other day? About Johann?”

“Oh! Yes, yes, thank you so much for the tip.” Magnus said. “No hugs, no high-fives, no contact at all. Gotta respect the boundaries!”

“Yeeeah, about that…”

Magnus’ expression fell. “Oh, man, did I do something I shouldn’t again?”

“No!” Wait, that was a lie. “I mean, yes.” That was too bold! “But don’t feel bad! Johann is just a little…”

“Shy?”

“Yes! That’s a good way of putting it. He’s a little slow to trust in others, but if you give him some space he’ll open up soon enough.”

Magnus crossed his arms and hummed in thought. “I see.”

“You know, when we first met, we only said hello to each other in the halls.”

Magnus’ face lit up. “I can do that!”

“Great! Thanks for being cool about this.”

“Anything for a friend of a friend.”

***

Magnus was a man of his word. When he said he would do something, he did it with overflowing enthusiasm. Now every single time he had Johann in sight, Magnus made sure he heard his greeting.

Even across the hall.

“YO, JOHANN! HAVE A GOOD ONE, BUDDY!”

“SUP, MAN! YOU HEADING FOR CLASS?”

“HEY, THAT’S JOHANN! HOW ARE YOU? SEE YOU LATER, DUDE!”

Needless to say, Johann didn’t take well to being yelled at from over fifty feet away. He could jump really high when scared, though, that was an interesting discovery.

Avi was usually with Magnus around school, so he had the privilege of seeing his own plan crumble into pieces.

Johann would look at Magnus like a deer in the headlights, and then, he would spot Avi and blame him for all his problems.

 _What did you tell him?_ He mouthed the first time Magnus had called his name in the middle of the library.

And every time they found themselves in that situation, Avi would give Johann an apologizing look, mixed with a plea for patience with his extremely extroverted friend.

Johann always ended waving back, reluctantly.

Avi clinged to the hope that it would get better with the passing of time, like it did with him, but Avi had a proper sense of an indoors voice, which Magnus didn’t.

And what Magnus lacked, he covered with influence.

It was a week later, when Autumn was finally letting itself be felt in the colors of the leaves and the chilly wind. Johann and Avi were going over their last math quiz before the test next week when…

“Hey, Johann, do you have a pen?” Said a girl at the library, who seemed like a perfectly normal person making a perfectly normal request.

Johann didn’t seem to think that, though, because he gave the pencil to her, but he looked miserable the whole time.

“See? This is what I was telling you about!” He whispered after the girl was gone. “This shit only started happening after I met Magnus.”

Avi raised an eyebrow. “No one’s ever asked you for a pen before?”

Johann sighed. “Yes, but they usually ask, ‘Hey, do you have a pen?’”

“… That’s what she just asked.”

“No, she said, ‘Hey, _Johann,_ do you have a pen?’”

Avi just looked for confused for a second.

“People know my name now,” Johann said.

“And that… bothers you? Wait, how is it even possible you spent two years without anyone knowing your name?”

“Well, it wasn’t easy,” Johann said, crossing his arms. “And now that is gone, thanks to Magnus yelling my name all across the school.”

“If it bothers you, I can tell him to stop.”

Johann seemed to think about it. “It’s fine. You’ve already done enough for me.” He looked around and shrugged. “I guess I’ll have to learn how to live with people knowing my name.”

Avi gave him a reassuring smile, which Johann returned in his own, reluctant way. It was amazing how well it worked.

“Do you think you’re ready to tackle this problem again?”

“Ugh,” Johann groaned, “I can’t be at peace for one second. Why are we even studying now? It’s just wednesday.”

“Because you have Voidfish duty tomorrow, and I have a game on Friday, and you explicitly asked me to help you with this…” Avi trailed off as he noticed the sudden change in Johann’s expression.

“Your game is _this_ friday?”

“Yeah, why?” Then, Avi realized the look in Johann’s face wasn’t as much of surprise as it was guilt. “You won’t make it.”

“I thought it was next week- I’m sorry, the day after tomorrow is my mom’s birthday, I can’t skip it. I would, if I could, but-”

“No, hey! It’s fine, dude. Family comes first.”

Johann sinked on his chair. “But this is going to be your first game as a regular.”

“There will be other games. And hey, you come to every single one of my games, even if you hate football.”

Johann looked to the side. “I don’t _hate_ it. I just don’t understand it and think the people who like it are annoying.”

Avi laughed. “But seriously, knowing you’re out there supporting me means a lot, so please don’t feel guilty about leaving me alone this one time.”

Johann scoffed. “Who said it was that? I just worry you might fuck up a kick or something if I’m not there to give you moral support.”

“Hey, I can kick pretty well on my own!”

“You better. I don’t want to spend the party worried about you. You have a tendency to kick yourself into the infirmary.”

“Too soon, man!”

“It happened two years ago!”

They started laughing.

“ _Shh!_ ”

“Sorry!” Both said in unison, which didn’t help with the laughing fit. They spent the next five minutes trying to control their laughter.

Avi realized it was the first time in weeks he had seen Johann so relaxed, and some of the weight he didn’t even know he was carrying fell off his shoulders. Avi had missed this, being able to sit with him and just be.

Making Johann happy was easy. All he had to do was do well in Friday’s game.

***

The game was over and Avi fell to the floor.

“WHO ARE WE?!” Magnus yelled.

“THE BOBCATS!” The team cheered.

“AND WHAT DO WE DO?!”

“WE CONQUER!”

The team ran with Magnus to celebrate their new victory. Thirty to fifteen, an amazing feat for everyone in the team.

Except Avi, who couldn’t land a single point during the game.

“Good game, guys! Let’s meet outside for pizza!” Magnus said to the rest of the team before walking where Avi was kneeling. “Hey, Avi, you need help?”

“I’m fine,” he replied between gasps. “Just need a second.”

“Do you need some water?”

Avi shook his head. He really just needed to be still for a moment.

Magnus squatted to his height and put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself for today, man. You did your best.”

Then, Magnus walked away.

Avi knew he was right on a rational level. He had never stopped fighting, not in two and a half hours, to get a better shot than the last. That’s why he was so tired now. Bad days happened to everyone.

Except to Magnus, or Carey, or Killian. It was a good thing the team had them to keep things running.

Okay, the time for self-pity was over.

Avi stood up, and his gaze drifted towards the top of the bleachers, where Johann usually sat. Even knowing he wouldn’t be there that day, Avi couldn’t help but turn to him during the game.

He laughed to himself. At least Johann hadn’t been there to see that.

***

“One, two, three, and…”

A cute little duet of [Heart and Soul](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkqg4VGvBeY) for everyone in the room to marvel at. This was the cutest the twins had ever been. Aunt Francesca recorded with her phone on a hand and tears in her eyes. No one seemed to mind the couple notes missed here and there, because deep down they didn’t really care about the music. Just the cute kids playing cute music.

It was nice seeing Freddy and Lud be still for more than ten seconds, though. Johann sipped quietly from his glass of soda and enjoyed the calm. He’d have to go back to babysitting them the moment the song was over, so what was a bunch more of painfully executed chords in comparison.

The song came to an end and all the adults in the room broke into applause, like they had just listened to Hoagy Carmichael himself playing live. In an act of incredible discipline, the kids bowed in front of everyone for two whole seconds before Lud accidentally pushed Fred, prompting Fred to push him back.

“Boys, boys, don’t fight!” Aunt Francesca ran to twins and got them apart with practiced ease. She leaned to their level. “Thanks for this wonderful gift, my loves.” Then she proceeded to hug them tightly.

“Mom, you’re embarrassing!”

“Can we go back to the computer?”

“Give me a kiss first.”

The twins kissed her one on each cheek. “Happy birthday, mom.”

“Now one for your aunt.”

They walked towards Johann’s mom, who happily leaned down to receive the second part of her gift.

“Happy Birthday, aunt Barbara,” they said in unison.

“Thank you, boys,” she said.

And then they ran inside their room to keep playing Fortnite.

“Ah, they are so cute at that age,” she said with a big smile on her face. “Remember when you used to be like that, Jo?”

“A rat kid?”

“You played that really complicated song on our three-hundredth birthday.”

“The Minuet in G Major is not a complicated piece, mom.”

“Oh, you don’t have to be so humble. You were even younger than Fred and Lud! And I really liked it, it’s been my favorite birthday gift ever.”

“Are you not happy with the gift I got you?”

His mother stammered. “Oh, no, sweetie, that’s not at all what I meant.”

“It’s fine, the receipt is still valid for three months.”

“Johann, I assure you, there’s nothing in this world I would’ve loved more than this new pair of slippers you got me.” And she even raised them to prove her point. It was a nice pair of slippers, if Johann could say so himself, all fluffy and light blue like his mother liked so much.

Aunt Francesca, on the other hand, had looked at them for less than a second before putting them away, while giving him thanks with a shallow smile. Nothing to be done there. Johann was used to getting receipts for her gifts.

Someone called for the birthday girls to take more pictures together, and now that the kids were safely playing on their room, Johann finally had the chance to sneak away from the party.

He sat at the stairs and checked his phone. Avi should’ve been out of his game by then.

***

Avi  
  
hey dude  
  
how did the game go?  
  
Good! We won!  
  
I missed my kicks, though  
  
cool  
  
oh damn  
  
But we still won, so it’s all good!  
  
sorry about it  
  
Don’t be, it wasn’t your fault  
  
you know i didnt mean that thing about you only doing good when i was there right  
  
I think you might have to reconsider haha  
  
At least you weren’t here to see me flop so bad  
  
i’ll be there the next time  
  
Even if I fuck up?  
  
especially if you fuck up  
  
:’)  
  
How’s the party?  
  
boring  
  
i had to play fortnite with the twins again  
  
i swear if they keep asking me to babysit im going to start charging  
  
You should tell them right now! Fuck exposure!  
  
i cant  
  
its my aunts birthday  
  
its illegal to make people angry on their birthday  
  
Wait, I thought it was your mom’s birthday?  
  
its both  
  
theyre twins  
  
Oh!  
  
…  
  
Huh  
  
what  
  
You’re an elf on your mother’s side right?  
  
yeah why  
  
I just think it’s funny  
  
Your mom and aunt are twins  
  
Your cousins are twins  
  
yeah that sort of thing runs in the family  
  
Taako and Lup are twins  
  
Lydia and Edward are twins  
  
Do elves always come in twins?  
  
what  
  
no  
  
thats not a thing  
  
How are you so sure?  
  
because i would know  
  
i mean everyone would know but me more because of my family  
  
But you just said twins run in the family  
  
thats a twin thing not an elf thing  
  
i am an only child remember  
  
But you’re a HALF elf  
  
And what’s the half of two?  
  
thats not  
  
shut up  
  
you hit your head again didnt you  
  
Are your eyes being opened, Johann?  
  
Are you waking up?  
  
im falling asleep actually  
  
maybe i should go study math instead  
  
You should, though  
  
We have a test on monday  
  
fuck i forgot about that  
  
ugh who the fuck schedules a test on monday now my whole weekend is ruined  
  
Weren’t you just saying you missed tests so much?  
  
i have no recollection of ever saying something like that  
  
[screenshot08312019.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/NdUOAlD.png)  
  
i was young and stupid back then  
  
Two months ago  
  
yes  
  
Alright. You still need to study for this test tho  
  
sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
  
gotta go back to the party  
  
Good luck  
  
And good night, I’m going to sleep  
  
already? its only nine  
  
Yeah but im exhausted  
  
oh well  
  
sweet dreams  
  
You too :)  
  


***

It didn’t matter how early or how late Johann decided to arrive to their weekly meetings in the Voidfish room, Magnus was always there first, and worst of all, alone.

Things had gotten a lot better smalltalk-wise, but Johann still couldn’t fight the sigh of exhaustion that escaped him every time he saw Magnus. It was just so hard being around him. Every single thing he did was terrible, like he did it only to spite Johann. How could people stand him? If he weren’t Avi’s best friend…

Honestly, Magnus didn’t know how lucky he was Avi still cared about him so much.

“Oh, good morning!” Magnus said, over a minute after Johann entered the room. “Didn’t see you there.”

“That’s amazing considering I’ve been standing here for over a minute,” Johann replied sarcastically, but either Magnus was too dumb to notice that too, or he decided to ignore it. Nah, it was probably the first.

“Yeah, I’m just really focused right now, and I tend to forget about my surroundings when I get into that mood.”

Johann finally decided to take a look at what Magnus was doing. He had a stack of papers in front of him with some incomprehensible jargon written on them, kinda like keysmashes but written by hand. He was looking for something inside his bag…

Only when Magnus found it, Johann realized what he was planning. The random letters were notes, written one by one in a complete disregard of the pentagram system, and in his hands, Magnus held a recorder.

Johann feared for his life. “What are you-?”

And Magnus started playing the shit out of that poor flute.

“STOP!” Johann screamed with his ears covered. “STOP IT, MAN, YOU’RE GONNA BREAK THE TANK.”

Magnus put the recorder down and winced. “Too bad? I never really learned how to play this thing.”

“Then why did you think this was a good idea?!”

“Is just that Fisher has been looking a little down lately, and I thought-”

“Who?”

“Who what?”

“Who is Fisher?”

Magnus pointed at the tank.

Johann covered his face with one hand. “You named the Voidfish?”

“Well, you guys didn’t.”

God, he couldn’t believe this guy. Actually, yes, he could. Johann breathed in, then out. “Let’s go back to the recorder thing.”

“I just thought it would cheer it up. The Voidfish likes Mozart, right?”

Johann looked at the Voidfish. Now that Magnus mentioned it, it did look kinda blue, but it just had to listen to the world’s worst rendition of _Twinkle Twinkle Little Star_ , in the world’s most annoying instrument, by the world’s worst musician. So yeah, that was understandable.

Besides, how did Magnus even know the Voidfish liked Mozart? No, that wasn’t important.

“If you don’t know how to play the recorder, then don’t play it. The Voidfish-”

“Fisher,” Magnus corrected him.

“-is a very sensitive animal with _very high standards_. I’ve been playing the violin since kindergarten and even _my_ music is not good enough for it sometimes. What makes you think _you_ can play for it?”

And now, Magnus looked like a kicked dog. Oh, come _on_. He wanted Johann to feel bad for him? Tough luck. Johann was in the right here. Magnus could be great at literally everything else but music was Johann’s thing, and he better remember it.

“So… you play the violin?”

Yes!

Wait.

Oh no.

Magnus smiled. “That’s super cool, dude! And you must be, like, crazy good if the Voidfish likes it.”

No, no, no, no, no, this wasn’t happening. This was a dream, a recorder induced coma or something. He must’ve hit his head because there was no way Johann had revealed _his biggest secret_ just like that.

“Oh! Can you play something right now?”

“I have to go!” Johann yelled. He picked his things and ran to the door.

He didn’t even see Professor Miller coming.

“Good morning, boys- ouch!”

“Sorry!”

“Where are you going?!”

“Math! Study! I have a test! Bye!”

He could still feel their stares on his back, so he ran downstairs and didn’t stop until he was sitting in the room of his next class.

Hey, at least he wouldn’t be late for the test. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

***

Avi approached him first thing after the class was over. “Johann! How was the test?”

“Terrible. Let’s change the subject.”

“You okay, bud?”

Johann sighed, like, _really_ sighed. It was supposed to be a performative sigh but somewhere along the way it ended up taking all the tension accumulated since the beginning of the class year. It was a little refreshing. Just a little.

“How about we talk it over during lunch?” Avi suggested after seeing his pathetic existence.

“Don’t you have lunch with your team?”

“They won’t get mad if I skip this one. Come on, putting something on your stomach will make you less grumpy.”

“’M not grumpy,” Johann muttered grumpily.

He did feel better after eating, though. Never underestimate the power of a warm meal. Eating outside instead of the cafeteria, without all the noise and people, helped too.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, Avi, your best friend is testing my fucking patience.”

And the fact that Avi didn’t try to argue in Magnus’ defense by now really said a lot. “Do you want me to talk to him again?”

“You can’t talk him out of being so… so… ugh!” Johann groaned. “I just can’t deal with him anymore! He stresses me so. Much.”

“I know.”

“And he doesn’t have a clue! He keeps acting all, all friendly and nice, so I look bad for not liking him because everyone else likes him because they don’t see him for what he really is!”

“Which is?”

“An asshole!”

Avi’s expression fell. “You actually hate him, don’t you?”

Johann remembered who he was talking with. Avi was Magnus’ best friend, of course he would be mad at him for saying all that stuff.

Johann rushed to correct himself. “I don’t _hate_ him, I just find him terribly annoying.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Johann, I know you’ve hated him since last year.”

“What? Why would you think that? I didn’t even know the guy. _I_ don’t have reason to hate him, because at least he’s never done anything to _me_ …”

Avi looked at him.

Oh.

“Wait, hold on. I know what I just said, but it’s not what I meant to say.”

“You didn’t mean to say I should hate him because he rejected me?”

Well. When he put it like that.

A sad but knowing smile took ahold of Avi’s face, and when he talked, he did it with so much calm. “I know you’ve been worried about me ever since you found me crying last year, and it means a lot to me! I don’t think I could’ve ever gotten over it without you, being there, cheering me up with your sad violin songs.”

Johann tried to avoid Avi’s direct gaze. “That makes zero sense.”

“You know what I mean!” Avi laughed. “And I know you care about me, but things between Magnus and me are good. He’s still my best friend, after all.”

“I know, but…”

“But you still hate him for making me cry?”

Johann nodded.

Avi sighed. “I’m sorry, this whole mess is also my fault. When Magnus told me he would join the Voidfish committee…” he shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I secretly hoped you would stop hating him when you saw how he was in person. I didn’t have your boundaries in consideration either. But I realize now that some people are just not meant to get along.

“It’s fine if you think he’s annoying, or loud, or a bit touchy…”

Johann raised an eyebrow.

“Okay,” Avi laughed, “too touchy.”

He reached up to Johann and put a hand on his arm. “But please don’t hate him because of me. You’re both my friends.”

Friends. That word had such a heavy weight in Johann’s heart.

Avi’s touch was heavy, too.

“I… I don’t understand how you can still care about him so much, especially after what he did to you. But… you do, so. That’s all that matters.”

Avi smiled again. “Thank you.”

He took his hand of Johann’s arm and sat straight again, looking at the field. They sat there without saying anything for a short while.

“How about some dessert?” Avi finally said. “I think the cafeteria should be emptier by now.”

“Oh! Wait, give me a second.”

The day had gone so fast already that Johann forgot about it. He got a plastic container from his backpack and two forks. “I got you some birthday cake, since I couldn’t go to your game.”

Avi’s face lit up. “Aw, man, you didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to give you cake, so here’s some damn cake. I don’t know if it’s kosher, though, but at least it’s vegan? You can eat that, right?”

“If it’s vegan then it should be okay. Oh, but those are really expensive, are you sure I can have this?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. We always have too much cake after my mom and aunt’s birthday because they can never agree on the type.”

“Oh, right… because they just happen to be elves who are twins.”

Johann glared at Avi. “Seriously?”

“Open your eyes to the truth!”

Johann rolled his eyes and walked down the bleachers with the cake.

“Wait, wait, I’m not done!” Avi called from above.

“Get off your ass, then, don’t you like to stretch?”

“Ha, very funny!”

They entered the old building just a couple minutes later. The cake didn’t last as long as the conversation.

“I’m just noticing a pattern here, man!” Avi insisted on saying, no matter how much Johann tried to change the subject.

“Do you even hear yourself? You sound like a tin-hat conspiracy theorist.”

“I don’t wear hats, they mess my hair.”

“Wouldn’t like to ruin it, Marty McFly?”

“Oh, so I’m in the 80s now? Well, I’ll take it as a compliment because, one, dope movie, and two, I know you’re going after my hair because you know my arguments are solid. That’s called _ad hominem_.”

“Let it go, dude! Not all elves have twins! You _know_ some of them.”

“Well, let’s ask one!” Avi looked around the hall for anyone who fitted the description. “Brian! Do you have a twin?”

“I ate zem in ze uterus!”

Avi and Johann stared at him leave.

“Okay, I regret asking,” Avi said, “but that proves my point!”

Johann covered his face with one hand and groaned. “How does that even-?”

“YOOO, JOHANN!”

The loud sound barred through the crowd with the strength only Magnus Burnsides could muster. He waved from the other end of the hall, smiling, ready to wreck shit up.

“Oh no,” Johann muttered.

“Okay,” Avi tried to say calmly, but even he was covering his ears. “I see how this feels from the other side and _wow_. But I swear he’s not-”

“Magnus knows my secret.”

“He knows WHAT?!”

The two of them looked as he made his way to them.

“Okay, I get why you were so upset earlier,” Avi started, “but he would never-”

“Good to see you two here!” Magnus said when he still was eight feet from them. “Hey, Avi! Did you know Johann can play the v-!”

“MAGNUS LOOK THERE’S A DOG,” Avi yelled at the top of his lungs.

“OH SHIT, WHERE!?”

“This way, come on!”

Avi ran to the exit, immediately followed by Magnus. Before he crossed the door, he looked briefly at Johann, muttered the word “run”, and disappeared.

***

What a long fucking day. Johann was so exhausted he couldn’t pay attention to his last class. Which, to be fair, was physics. Something about the laws of universal movement? He had more important stuff to worry about.

… Maybe he was being unfair to Magnus. It hurt to admit it, but Avi was right, he was a good guy, and it wasn’t his fault Avi liked him. Everyone liked him, of course, because he was so perfect and nice and cool and athletically acomplished and a fucking nuisance- Nope, he was doing it again.

Johann sighed.

Was he jealous of Magnus? Was that really all this was about?

The class ended, and Johann made a decision.

Monday’s we officially Lucretia’s shift, but if she barely had free time last year during the electoral campaign, now she just didn’t have any at all. That left her days between Professor Miller’s students and Magnus.

He was talking to the Voidfish when Johann got there. With all the noise he made just by existing, it was strange seeing him talk with such calm, almost whispering to it.

“I know, Fisher,” he was saying, still calling it that silly name. “I miss her too, but she’s busy now. We have to be patient… Yeah, I’m proud too!”

Johann coughed.

Magnus turned around and when he noticed Johann standing at the entrance the noise went immediately up. “Johann! Didn’t expect you to see you now!”

Johann took a deep breath. Okay, one last try. For Avi’s sake.

“I wanted to talk to you about, well, you know…”

“You mean the violin thing? Avi told me all about it.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so don’t worry! Wink.” He winked. “Your secret is safe with me!”

“Well, thanks.”

That hadn’t been as awful as he thought.

“So, uh,” Johann said, “I should go.”

“Okay! I was gonna be here playing some music for Fisher, though, if you wanted to stay?”

Johann couldn’t hide his grimace.

Magnus laughed. “Don’t worry, I know.” He pointed at the Voidfish Boundaries list, where a fourth rule had been added:

**4\. ONLY JOHANN PLAYS FOR THE VOIDFISH**

“Yeah, uh, can you erase that? The other kids don’t know, so…”

“Oh, right! One second.”

He picked up the same marker he used to write that and drew all over it until it was unreadable.

“I was actually going to play from the radio, by the way,” Magnus said. He pointed at the portable radio sitting on a table, along with some classical music CDs.

“That’s cool, then. Just remember to skip-”

“Skip Wagner, yes, I got it covered.”

As he was about to cross the threshold, Johann stopped.

“How did you know it doesn’t like Wagner?”

It was an honest question, with a very easy answer. No one with taste liked Wagner.

And yet, it made Magnus tense up. “Professor Miller told me.”

“Professor Miller can’t tell a violin from a cello, let alone a composer from another. Actually, that reminds me, you also mentioned the Voidfish likes Mozart.”

“Well, I don’t know! I probably heard one of you guys talk about it.”

Huh. Interesting.

Johann walked back inside the Voidfish room, but Magnus was now turned to the tank. If Johann didn’t know better he would’ve thought Magnus was trying to ignore him.

“You seem to get along really well with the Voidfish.”

“Really? It seems to me we have a perfectly normal relationship.”

“Well, it likes when you touch the tank, and before you joined the only one who could pull that off was Lucretia.”

Magnus tensed up even more if possible. “Ha! What a coincidence! Totally unrelated to anything, right?”

Yeah, he was lying.

So while he had him there, Johann took a chance with something that had been bothering him for a while now. “By the way, did you know? Clubs need at least three members to be approved by the school staff, but when I joined back in first year the only people in the Voidfish Committee aside from Professor Miller were Lucas and Lucretia. I wonder where that third member went.”

“You know how these things are,” Magnus said as he got up and slowly walked to the door. “Maybe the staff forgot to check, maybe they didn’t care! Maybe it was just a big mistake but it doesn’t matter now because we have the Voidfish committee and that’s all that matters.” He closed the door and quickly turned around. “Okay, I need you to promise you’re going to keep quiet about this. Are you good with secrets?”

“I mean, I’ve been keeping one since first-”

“Good! So, here’s the thiiiing.” Magnus offered a chair to Johann and sat in the other himself. He breathed in and out, then whispered, “Iiiiiiii might have been that secret third member.”

“I figured.”

“And I get along with Fisher because I’ve known him as long as Lucretia.”

“Uh huh.”

“Because I stole it.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, man, you don’t have to holy shit did you just say you _stole_ it?”

Johann looked and wished for anything that proved he wasn’t being serious.

Oh god, he was serious.

“How do you steal a fucking Voidfish?!” Johann screamed.

“Oh, that’s a funny story, actually!” Magnus said, and his whole mood changed in one second, like he hadn’t just confessed to a felony. “So, there was this fancy restaurant, Okay? They had it inside. I broke there one night and stole it.”

“You just… broke there and stole it.”

“But it was _really_ funny. Ah, you kinda had to be there.”

Johann breathed in and out, repeated the last minute of their conversation in his head so he could be sure he heard what he thought he heard and it wasn’t just the exhaustion playing tricks on him. Or maybe he did fall into a coma back in the first period.

“Does Professor Miller know?”

“Yes.”

“Does Lucretia know?”

“You kidding? She even helped me!”

It was a good thing Johann was sitting. But he also really wanted to get up, open the window, and scream. So, the Voidfish Committee was full of criminals.

To think his biggest concern that morning was that Magnus played a recorder too loud.

“Why?” He finally gathered the courage to ask. “Why did you even think stealing a protected species from a fucking restaurant was a good idea?”

And for the first time, Magnus spoke without a hint of shame or guilt. “You said it yourself, the Voidfish is a protected species and these rich motherfuckers, who probably got it illegally, had it trapped in a small tank, in a crowded room, full of noise and flashing lights.”

Johann stared at Magnus. “Wait… you were trying to rescue it?”

“Of course I did! I wasn’t gonna stand there and do nothing!”

“And if they caught you? Weren’t you a football star back then? Didn’t you stop a moment to think they could take all that away if they saw you stealing from a fancy restaurant?”

“I mean, yeah, but it was that or this Fisher’s life.”

It was amazing how quickly your opinion of someone could change.

Hours ago, Johann hated this guy, but now he looked at him and felt… respect. That was a word he never thought he would use for him.

“When we -I mean, Fisher, Lucretia and I- got home safely, I called Lucas for help. He was the smartest person me and Lucretia knew, and he’s my neighbour. Our first plan was to return Fisher to the ocean, but Voidfish aren’t from this side of the world, and in any case it had lived too long in captivity to survive on its own. In the end, it was Professor Miller’s idea that we gave it to the school’s science program, since they had more resources to keep it. She even got it legally registered and everything!”

“And didn’t the guys at the restaurant find it weird their Voidfish vanished and then another one showed up in a random school?”

“Well, they got it illegally. Imagine going to the cops and explaining _that_!”

“Yeah, I guess it’s what they got for being animal abuser bastards.”

“Damn right!” Magnus said.

“So then… why are you keeping your involvement with the Voidfish in secret?”

Magnus’ figure seemed to deflate a little. He sighed, loudly, like everything he did. “Because I still broke and entered on someone’s private property, and there’s a big chance the folks at the restaurant had security cameras installed.”

“You got caught in camera!?”

“No! I mean, yes, I admit I didn’t think things through, but I was wearing a hoodie! Anyway, you know how it is with social media, if I ever got caught in camera next to the Voidfish anyone could make the connection between us and the heist. I’m a very big boy!”

“You really are.”

Magnus got up and walked up to the Voidfish’s tank. “So yeah, that’s my secret. I know it’s asking too much, but I would really, _really_ appreciate if you never told anyone about it. Only the people from the Voidfish committee know.”

“Well, you’re keeping my violin secret too. Which, now that I say it out loud, sounds way less of a deal than your thing.”

“Hey, now, everyone has their own burden!”

“Oh… thank you.”

Magnus gave him a thumbs up.

“And, uh, I’m sorry. I haven’t been very nice around you these days.”

“It’s okay, man, I get it. Not sure if you noticed, but I can be a liiiiittle overwhelming sometimes.”

“That’s kind of an understatement.”

“I was just very excited to properly meet you, since you are important to people who are important to me.”

Johann couldn’t help the small feel of warmth that took nest in his heart. He was important, to Avi, and…

“Wait, people?”

“Yeah, Avi and Lucretia.”

Oh. Huh.

“Lucretia and you…”

Magnus smiled sheepishly. “We’re dating.”

“Oh!”

“But!” He rushed to say. “It’s a secret, so please don’t mention it out of this room.”

“Oh, shit, is it related to the Voidfish too?”

“No, no. I mean,” Magnus crossed his arms and stroked his chin, like a real philosopher. “It’s all part of the same story, sure. One can see how our relationship evolved from mere friendship to something more when we teamed up so many years ago, just the two of us against a corrupt system. And Lucas. And his mom. But they came later so it doesn’t-”

“Dude.”

“I mean, no, this is a different thing.”

“… May I ask why it’s a secret, then?”

“Weeeeeell,” Magnus started, “it’s not something serious, really, it’s just, you know, I’m the captain of the football team, Lucretia is the school’s president, and people like to gossip. Do you remember what happened last year with the cheerleader squad? Lucretia is afraid something like that could put in risk the whole mascot campaign.”

Johann nodded. “Does Avi know?”

“Yes.”

He wondered how it must’ve felt… No, Avi said he was over Magnus, and Johann believed him. Knowing him, he would probably be happy for the two of them.

The Voidfish in his tank swam around. It usually did that to ask for attention.

“Sorry!” Magnus said to it. “I was going to play something for you.” He picked one of the CDs from the table, then looked at Johann and winked. “Unless you want to-”

“We’re not there yet.”

“Alright, alright,” Magnus said. “Boundaries. I’m still learning.”

Johann had an idea. He grabbed pen and paper from his bag and wrote:

johann's boundaries

dont touch johann

dont approach johann suddenly

dont make loud noises near johann

johann only plays for the voidfish

Magnus laughed his ass off when he saw it.

***

Tuesday already felt like a good day when Avi stepped inside the old building and heard [a familiar melody](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x54o9_xHhLo) playing in the halls. He followed the sound of the violin until the third floor, where, unsurprisingly, he found Johann playing, lit by the glowing light of the Voidfish.

Avi stood quietly at the door, and when the song was finished, he clapped. “That’s a little easier than usual.”

“I was feeling nostalgic,” Johann said. “Can you close the door?”

Avi did as told and sat in one of the chairs, just enjoying the music for a while. He didn’t even have to ask Johann to play Chaconne this time.

“Here,” Johann said, offering Avi a pack of tissues when he was done playing.

“Thank you,” Avi sobbed. “Man, I love that song so much.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” Johann teased him as he sat next to him.

“You’re in a good mood today,” Avi said. “Did you… talk with Magnus yesterday?”

“Yeah, we’re chill.”

Avi gasped. “Are you friends now?”

“I said _chill_. That means I don’t find him as annoying as I used to do.”

“Coming from you, that’s a lot. Did he save your life or something?”

Johann rolled his eyes. “We just talked for a bit and, well, you’re right, he’s a good guy. I was just being unfair with him because I’m a big bastard.”

“Aw, you’re not _that_ big of a bastard.”

“Ha, ha. But, seriously, I guess I see what everyone else sees in him now.”

Avi stared at Johann for two full seconds. “You like him?”

“What?”

“Like, you know, _like_ like.”

“Ew, no.”

“Hey, I’ve been there too! I just don’t want him breaking your heart now.”

“He’s not my type, thank you very much.”

Interesting. “So you _do_ have a type.”

“This conversation is over.”

“No, wait!” Avi laughed, trying to get Johann to sit down again, but he was already picking up his violin. “Sorry, I’m just kidding.” He sighed theatrically. “I just worry, now that you and Magnus are spending time together, you’ll want to replace me,” and he pouted at the end, just to make it more dramatic.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Johann scoffed, “why would I pick anyone else over you?”

Avi stopped his act and looked at Johann with wide eyes.

“Wait, you really mean that?”

Johann turned around, looking through his binder for a next song to play. Maybe he hadn’t heard him.

It was such a small thing, but it meant the world to Avi.

***

Taako took a sip from his key lime frappuccino and immediately regretted buying it. Ugh, the citrus didn’t mix well with the milk, why did he kept asking for this flavour? Anyway, “So this guy comes to me all like, oh, Taako, you’re the man of my dreams.”

Lup burst in laughter. “You’re bullshitting me! That’s not a thing people say? Like, in the real world?”

“I bullshit you not. You weren’t there, he was serious?” He snorted. “Like, he then started talking about soulmates and shit, and it was ten in the morning.”

“Please tell me you rejected him _politely_.”

Taako hummed in thought. Well, he got half of that right.

“Taako.”

“Listen, all you need to know is that I can’t go to that side of town anymore, because that guy’s got friends. And neither can you, since you have my face.”

Lup sighed. “Taako, my brother? My best friend? My other half? You’re an idiot.”

“We have the same brain, so you just dunked on yourself.”

“And then you complain about being single. You know you gotta fix your personality if you want men to stop sending their friends to kill you, _especially_ if they come showing interest in you.”

Taako slurped as loud as he could just because he knew it annoyed her. “Listen, this love at first sight is cute and all when it happens to nerds like you and Barry.”

Lup pushed him. “I’m not a nerd!”

“Sure, you tell yourself that. Anyway, _I_ am a reasonable man, I know love as a concept was invented by Disney to sell movies and parks.”

“Sell _parks_? Like entire _amusement parks_?”

“Yes, whatever! My true love is not going to come down the aisle one day and-”

“Excuse me, can I ask where you bought those frappuccinos?”

The man who just approached them was, to put it simply, the hottest guy in the entire world. He was tall, handsome, basically built like a prince.

“We can share mine!” Taako quickly said. “If you like key lime, of course. But if you don’t, I was going to throw this anyway. We could go get another together.”

The very handsome boy looked at the frappuccino Taako offered and laughed politely. “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant. I need to find an adress but the mall’s WiFi doesn’t seem to work for me. I was hoping there would be free WiFi at the Starbucks.”

Lup covered her mouth to hide her laughter. Yeah, yeah, Taako could deal with that later. Now, he was trying to talk with the lovely stranger who magically approached them in this mall’s food court.

“Oh, if that’s what you wanted, why didn’t you just say so? I could share my data with you.”

“Really?” The boy asked with the most perfect smile.

“ _Really?_ ” Lup asked, at the same time, with the most shit eating grin.

“Yeah, my man, you just do what you need. Cha boy’s got enough data to spare.”

“Thank you so much,” the stranger said with a sigh of relief. “I’ll try to make this as quick as possible.”

“Why the rush?” Taako asked. “Seat down, take your time, and in the meantime you can tell me what brings someone like you to this small town mall. I’m Taako, by the way.”

“Kravitz,” the handsome man said.

“And I’m Lup,” she said, raising a hand, “just in case you forgot I was here too.”

“It’s nice to meet both of you. And I’m just back home for mid-semester break, trying to get some last minute shopping before I head back to Neverwinter.”

“Oh, are you in college?” Taako asked.

“Something like that,” Kravitz answered. “You too?”

“I am a student, yes.”

“In High School,” Lup said.

“ _Senior_ year of High School,” Taako added. “I turn 18 in a couple months, anyway! I’m practically over this whole High School thing. Did I mention I was on TV?”

“There he goes again,” Lup groaned.

“You didn’t, actually,” Kravitz said.

“Well, I’ll have you know-”

“Is that Avi?” Lup said. “Hey, Avi! Over here!”

Taako groaned. “Great! More people.”

Because it wasn’t just Avi. He was accompanied by Magnus’ new friend, what’s-his-face.

“Hi, guys!” Avi said. “It’s so good we found you, this place is packed today. Do you mind if we sit with you?”

“Um, yeah-” Taako tried to say.

“Not at all!” Lup said louder. “You look like you could use a seat. Is Johann okay?”

Right, that was his name. Johann was drenched in sweat, his hair was sticking to his face and he couldn’t stop gasping for air like he was dying. “No,” he managed to say.

“We were running around the park,” Avi explained.

“Oof, my condolences.”

“Wow, this got a little crowded,” Taako laughed. “So, hot stuff, what do you say you and I leave this place and go find somewhere more comfortable to seat, like a café or-”

“I’m sorry, did you say Johann?” Kravitz said. “Like Johann Sebastian Bach?”

“Uh,” Johann said, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but Bach died like, three hundred years ago?”

“That’s not-” Kravitz sighed. “Of course I know Bach is dead. What I meant is that we’ve met before.”

Johann looked as confused as he was tired. “I think you’re mistaking me from someone else, man.”

“No, wait!” Avi said. “I remember! Didn’t you give him directions to the music store last summer?”

“Oh, right.”

“I don’t mean that, either, though thanks again for helping me that one time.”

“Oh, you like music?” Taako said, trying to shift the conversation back to him. “What a coincidence, I love music too-”

“You were at the conservatory!” Kravitz said, ignoring Taako completely.

Taako sighed. Great, he lost him. To Johann, no less, and he wasn’t even appreciating the attention.

He was looking rather bad, actually.

“I…” Johann stammered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t you, though? Aren’t you the boy who auditioned with Bach’s first sonata for violin? I remember because back then I thought it was hilarious your name was Johann _and_ you played Johann S. Bach.” He laughed at this like he still found it funny.

But if Johann had looked bad a moment before, now he seemed practically sick.

“Sweetie, are you alright?” Lup asked him.

“Oh, would you look at that!” Avi said, standing up. “We’re actually late for something, why don’t we leave this hang out for another day?”

“Yes!” Taako said. “That’s an excellent idea.”

“Wait, before you go,” Kravitz said, “I just wanted to know why you never auditioned again, is all. You were an _excellent_ player-!”

“SHUT UP!” Johann screamed.

Damn.

Everyone in their table, and even some from the tables around them, went silent.

“Oh,” Kravitz said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know this was a sore subject.”

Johann was trembling now. “It’s not-”

“I mean, you did screw up that piece in front of everyone,” Kravitz continued, “but wasn’t that expected? It takes a special kind of arrogance to play Bach in an audition. And the first sonata, no less-”

Johann stood up and ran.

“Johann!” Avi went after him.

Taako exchanged a look with Lup, who was covering her mouth now.

Kravitz, on his part, just looked at them leave calmly.

“W-well,” Taako tried to say, “now that it’s just us again, shall we take our conversation somewhere else or-”

“Actually, it’s getting late,” Kravitz said as he stood up. “Thanks for the WiFi.”

“Wait…!”

But Kravitz had already lost himself between the afternoon crowd of the mall’s food court.

And Taako hadn’t even gotten his number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz is 19. Also, this is not a taakitz fic.


	5. Winter, part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johann and the mortifying ordeal of being known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the editing mistakes. I'll try to fix them tomorrow.  
> Also, I hope you like slow slow burn, because after Nanowrimo, this fic is hitting 70k.

Johann didn’t know how long or how far he ran, only that he had to leave the mall _now_.

“Johann, wait!"

“Leave me alone!”

Avi caught up to him embarrassingly fast; Johann was still exhausted by their morning run, and Avi was in better shape than him. He grabbed Johann’s arm to hold him in place. “Johann, please calm down-”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! Didn’t you hear what that asshole said?”

“I don’t care what he said.”

“But I do!”

Johann broke from Avi’s hold, but he didn’t try to run again. He was already tired, so he just stood there, making an embarrassment of himself in the middle of the fucking mall.

“Everything he said was true. I auditioned for the conservatory when I was in middle school and failed. _Miserably_.” He made a pause to catch his breath. “And I’m still not over it. So, that’s my sad backstory, I hope you liked it.”

The look of pity on Avi’s face only made Johann feel worse. “Johann, I’m so sorry…”

“Why?” Johann asked bitterly. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”

“I don’t know,” Avi tried to say. “I’m sorry you feel like this. You’re the best musician I know-”

“Don’t.” Johann cut him. “Please don’t say that.”

Avi shut his mouth and stared down, clearly hurt. 

Johann scolded himself, Avi didn’t have any blame on this. “What if we find a place to sit down?” He suggested.

Avi nodded, and he followed Johann outside the mall.

It was a cloudy day, so there wasn’t many people around the park. They found a bench right away, and Avi gave Johann all the time he needed to recover his breath and get himself in order, which was probably more than Johann deserved after snapping at him like that. What had Johann ever done to deserve him in his life?

The least he could do was be honest with him.

“When I was a kid,” Johann started, “everyone in my family said I was a ‘prodigy’.” He couldn’t help the tone in the last word. It still made him cringe. “I just happened to be better than average with a violin, and then my mom kept taking me to advanced classes until I was ten. Back then my adult relatives used to ask me to play for them every time they visited, and since I could play more complicated pieces at an early age they just assumed I was a baby genius or something like that.”

“You don’t seem really convinced about it now,” Avi noted.

“I was back then. Everyone around me kept saying it so I believed it for a while. Once I discovered me and Bach shared the same name, I became obsessed with his music to the point it was the only thing I played all of fifth and sixth grade.

“That’s mostly why I thought I could audition at the conservatory with one of his pieces.” He sighed, “I really was being arrogant. I had been told all my life I was a prodigy, and I wanted everyone at the conservatory to know. I picked the hardest movement of the first sonata and… well, you know how that ended.”

Avi nodded along. “Is your family the reason you hate playing in front of others?”

Johann groaned. “They never cared about my music, only that I was cute and young and would play anything for them if they asked, but they don’t know what a real musician sounds like.”

“Ah,” Avi said. “I see why you didn’t like my comment earlier.”

“It’s okay, you were just trying to make me feel better.”

“And it didn’t work,” Avi joked, but it was obvious he still felt guilty about it.

“It’s just…” Johann sighed, “I really want to be professional, audition again, play with a real orchestra… But I have to get better for that, and if I settle down with my current skill level I know I’ll never make it. You don’t notice the many mistakes I still make, but I do, and it’s hard hearing others say how good I am when those mistakes are in the back of my mind.”

“Yeah, I think I understand what you mean,” Avi said. “In the end, it’s not that you hate people, you just hate being falsely praised.”

“No, I still hate people.”

Avi laughed at that.

“If it makes you feel better,” Johann told Avi, “I do like playing for you. You never tell me how good I am, just how much you like the one piece you know the title of.”

“But you have to admit it’s a really good song.”

“It really is. Honestly, Chaconne is one of my favorites.”

“Then I stand by my musical very specific choice.”

Johann laughed, just a little.

“I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, though,” Avi said.

“You’ve been more than enough help.”

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes,” Johann assured him. He even smiled, just because he knew it would make Avi less worried.

Avi returned the smile ten times bigger. “Then my job here is done.”

They returned home after that. None of them had any lunch yet, but Johann didn’t want to go back to the mall, and after everything that happened that morning, on top of waking up early and running, he really needed some sleep.

“Call me if you need to talk, okay?” Avi had asked him when they parted ways.

“I will, don’t worry about-”

Avi hugged him.

Johann stood still for a moment. He wasn’t used to being hugged, but the warmth was slowly pulling him in…

“Sorry,” Avi said, trying to pull apart, “I know you don’t like hugs, I shouldn’t have-”

Johann clung to Avi before he could break the hug. “It’s fine,” he whispered against his shoulder, and Avi held him again. They stayed like that for a moment.

For the first time since he could remember, Johann felt truly at peace.

When he got home, that warmth was still burning inside him.

It wouldn’t last.

***

There was nothing about monday that clued Johann into the gossip brewing around the school. He woke up as usual, got dressed, had breakfast, and said goodbye to mom before making his way to school.

At the same time, the school halls were buzzing with the new gossip.

“Did you hear too?”

“A friend told me, she said a friend of a friend said…”

“It’s kinda disappointing, isn’t it?”

Johann arrived at school in the middle of the noise. He didn’t pay attention to it, though it seemed everyone was a little chattier than usual.

“Well, what were you expecting? Ghosts aren’t real, so…”

And then, the conversation came to a halt.

Why was everybody staring at Johann?

The sudden attention left him paralyzed. Dozens of eyes were over him, as the conversation picked up again, this time in whispers.

What was going on? Johann couldn’t even focus with everyone talking. All he got were random words.

“It’s him.”

“Johann”

“Ghost.”

“ _Violin._ ”

Johann ran. It was the only thing he could think of doing.

This wasn’t happening.

His muscle memory took him all the way to the third floor, where he could hide. It was the only place in school he could feel safe.

_This wasn’t happening._

But when he opened the door, he was met with the surprised stare of two strangers. Professor Miller’s students on Voidfish duty. Recognition took place in their eyes after a moment.

“Oh, it’s Johann, right?” Said one of them. He exchanged looks with the other girl. “Excuse me, but we heard something and we wanted to know if it was true…”

“Are you the ghost?” Blurted out the girl.

Johann took a step back. “W-what?” He stuttered.

_This wasn’t happening!_

“Don’t be so straight forward!” The boy said to the girl.

“But it’s him, right? He plays the violin, and you saw the schedule on the board, he’s on the same days the ghost plays! Maybe you could play for us? … Wait, where did he go?”

***

Lucretia  
  
Johann, please hurry. I have important news.  
  
I’m going to start without you. I’ll brief you on everything once you get here.  
  
Are you coming?  
  


***

Avi knocked on the infirmary’s door with a little more force than necessary. When Dr. Highchurch opened, he looked ready to give Avi the scolding of his life, hadn’t Avi talked first.

“Is Johann here?”

Dr. Highchurch sighed, “He’s over there,” and he pointed at the beds, where Johann lied alone, with his back turned to the entrance.

Avi walked to him, already fearing for whatever horrible thing could’ve happened to him. The last texts he got were concerning, to say the least.

Johann  
  
can you come to the infirmary  
  
i need help  


“Johann, I came as fast as I could, are you-?”

Johann turned around, “Avi, you’re here!” He sat up and talked to him like nothing happened. “You’re just in time, don’t worry. Do you have any rotten?”

Avi took a second to process what Johann had just said. “I… what? Wait, what happened to you? Why are you at the infirmary?”

“People know I’m the ghost.”

“What?! How?!”

Dr. Highchurch cleared his throat.

“How is that possible?” Avi whispered.

“I don’t know,” Johann said, his expression more serious now, “but I need to act fast. Do you have any rotten food or not?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I need to get food poisoning.”

Avi must’ve looked as confused as he felt, because Johann sighed, then immediately followed up with an explanation.

“The doctor says he can’t let me go home unless I’m really sick.”

“Woah!”

“And I need the food for-”

“Johann! You can’t just-!”

“Hey, tone it down over there,” Dr. Highchurch scolded him.

“Sorry!” Avi said again. What an awful place to be having this conversation. “You can’t just poison yourself,” he said to Johann, “you could get seriously intoxicated.”

“That’s the plan.”

“I’m serious! You could go to the hospital!”

“That’s even better, actually,” Johann said. “I get to stay home for longer, then.”

Avi groaned. Of course this wouldn’t be easy. “And what after that? What do you do when you come back? People will still know your secret.”

Johann considered Avi’s words. Hopefully he would realize how dangerous of an idea this was.

“You’re right,” Johann said after a while. “I can’t hide at home forever.”

Avi sighed. “I’m sorry, Johann.”

“No, you’re right. I have to change schools.”

“Exactly.” Avi said. Then, he actually heard what Johann said and panicked. “NO!”

“We have _two_ rules, boys!” Said Dr. Highchurch.

“Well, I’m running out of options here! I can’t make people suddenly forget about it, can I?”

“And leaving the school is your only option?”

“Yes!”

“But…”

“But what now?”

“But if you leave, I’ll miss you.”

Johann stopped talking.

Avi sat down next to him on the bed. It was clear now that all the running away talk was just a cover for how upset he felt.

“I know this is scary,” Avi said, “but it’s not the end of the world. You’ll see how in no time everyone will forget about it and move on.”

“Will they, thought? You know how some people are with rumors in this school.”

That was true, and even Avi had to admit he had been part of the gossip crowd at some point.

“Avi, you weren’t there.” Johann said, looking down, angry, scared. “When I entered the school and everyone just… went quiet, and stared at me. I can’t go out again, not if things are going to be like that from now on.”

Avi put a hand on Johann’s shoulder. “I won’t let anyone do or say anything to you.”

“Sorry to interrupt, kids,” Dr. Highchurch said, “but it’s time for class. If you’re not sick, or having a crisis, I can’t let you stay.”

Johann looked at Avi with pleading eyes, but there was nothing else he could do. Avi squeezed Johann’s shoulder one last time before letting go and standing up.

“I’ll come back for lunch. Let’s eat something not rotten outside?”

Johann sighed. “I think I can do that.”

***

Avi came back, as promised, with a tray of food for Johann.

Leaving the infirmary was hard, but Avi was right, Johann would have to face the rest of the school eventually, and he’d rather do it with him than alone. Besides, the exit was close, and the bleachers were usually empty this time of day.

But when he took a step outside the infirmary, he immediately felt everyone’s stares on him. They were like needles, piercing his skin. There wasn’t many people around, but with so few people there, there was no doubt they were all staring at him.

“Johann, focus on me,” Avi said.

Johann looked at him.

“We’re gonna do this: grab your tray, and look down at the food. Just the food. I’ll lead the way so you don’t trip, and we’ll be outside in no time. Sound good?”

Johann nodded.

“Then let’s go.”

Look down at the food. He could do that. Johann didn’t notice how hungry he was, even the questionable potato salad looked great with an empty stomach. He got that and a serving of spaghetti and meatballs. And for dessert, a shiny colored jelly, but ever since Avi had told him about the bone thing he found it kind of repulsive.

As they walked, the halls began filling with more and more people on their way to lunch. Johann didn’t dare to look up, but he could hear them talk. Not about him, not yet, while he had his head down.

“We’re almost there,” Avi said.

Johann made the mistake of looking up.

They were by the cafeteria entrance.

The place was full, as it was expected for this time of day. The crowd came and went, and he felt surrounded. Suddenly, Johann’s legs stopped walking.

Then, people took notice of him.

“Is that…?”

“You heard about it too, didn’t you?”

“The ghost…”

“The violinist…”

“Johann…”

“ _Johann…_ ”

_Johann, Johann, Johann, Johann._

“Johann!” Avi was trying to tell him, but it was hard to hear with everyone talking-

“What are you looking at?!”

Like a spell broken, everyone’s face turned around to the center of the cafeteria, where one tall and beautiful girl stood. Johann could barely see her behind all the people, but he recognized the voice.

It was Lup, the captain of the cheerleaders.

She pushed her way through the people in the crowd, walking straight towards Johann and Avi. She stood between them and everyone else. “Don’t you have better shit to do?” She told the crowd. “Scram!”

And just like that, everyone went back to minding their own business.

Cheerleaders were scary, but not as scary as an entire crowd. Johann could deal with that.

When she finally turned around to talk to him, she spoke in a much more calm manner. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, thanks…”

“Come sit with us,” Lup said. “No one will bother you with me and Klaarg on the same table.” It was easy to find the cheer squad table when the school’s mascot towered among even the students who weren’t sitting.

Johann exchanged looks with Avi.

“I’m fine if you’re fine.”

And Johann trusted Avi, so, “Yeah, okay.”

The cheer squad table wasn’t as big or noisy as the football team’s, but it was still a great change of pace for Johann, who was used to eat alone, with Avi, or the folks at the Voidfish club. Aside from him, the only non-sporty person in the table was Taako, Lup’s twin brother.

“So, Johann,” Lup started once everyone was sat down. “I wanted to say-”

“Tea?” Klaarg asked, offering Johann a big box filled with different flavours.

Lup sighed, “Klaarg, can’t this wait?”

“No. Tea?” He insisted.

Johann picked whatever flavour. He didn’t know much about tea, but it made Klaarg happy, and Lup could finally go on.

“As I was saying,” she continued, “I’m sorry.”

Out of all the things Johann expected to come from Lup’s mouth, an apology was not of them.

“Sorry for what?” He asked.

“For this,” and she gestured to everyone around them. “People are talking about you, and it’s all our fault.”

“How could it be your fault…?”

That’s when Johann remembered. Last saturday, Lup and her brother had been there, at the mall, when that guy had spilled all of Johann’s life.

“You told them?” Johann got up from his chair. “How could you?!”

“Woah there.” Taako said. “She’s trying to apologize, dude, calm down.”

“Taako, it’s fine. He has the right to be mad at us.” Lup said to her brother. “We didn’t know your playing was a secret, or that it would spread as quickly as it did, but the fact remains that we were careless with something that was private to you, and we’ve done some irreparable damage. I’m very sorry, Johann.”

This was unbelievable. She really thought she could ruin Johann’s life and just ask for forgiveness?

Johann had some nasty things to say, and maybe he would’ve ended up saying them, had it not been for Avi next to him. He put a hand on his shoulder and calmly gestured for Johann to sit down.

“Well, thank you so much for the apology, but this is not going to magically fix everything. I can still feel their stares, every time someone says my name I want to hide away. Do you have any idea of how that feels?”

“Yes,” Lup said, “I do.”

Johann was taken by surprise. Oh, right, she had gone through something like this last year…

“And I know I can’t undo this,” she continued, “no matter how much I wish I did. But I can try to make it less hard on you. I won’t let people talk about you, and if you need to have me and the entire squad by your side, then it’s done. No one messes with the Bobcats.”

“BOBCATS!” Avi cheered. He covered his mouth and and blushed in embarrassment. “Sorry, football team reflex.”

Taako didn’t even try to hide his laugh.

“Hey, Taako,” Lup said, “don’t you have something you want to say to Johann too?”

“Hm? Oh, right.” Taako leaned forward and asked, “Do you have that mall hottie’s number? Since you seemed to know each other and st-AUGH, MY FOOT.”

“Take it again,” Lup told him. “Next one is the heel.”

Taako sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Now they waited for Johann’s response.

Well, what could he say? It was hard to think with all those beautiful people looking at him. This was barely an improvement of his situation.

But it was true, if someone could understand how he felt, it was Lup.

“I…”

“Your tea is ready!” Klaarg loudly announced. He handed Johann his cup, which emitted a delicious citric smell.

“Oh, thank you. I…”

Klaarg stared at him expectantly.

Johann took a sip of his tea. It burned his tongue a little, but it had a great taste. He hummed just to give Klaarg that final reassuring.

“What else do they know?” He asked Lup. “From our conversation at the mall, I mean.”

“Just that you play the violin,” Lup said.

Well, at least it wasn’t _that_ bad.

“I… just want to be alone now,” Johann finally said.

Lup nodded. “Then I’ll tell anyone not to mess with you.”

“Thanks.”

“When you say alone,” Avi asked, “you mean, like, _alone_ alone or…”

“You’re fine,” Johann said.

***

Going back to school on tuesday wasn’t as easy.

Johann thought, again, about the possibility staying at home. He could tell mom he was sick, she wouldn’t ask questions that way…

Avi’s words came to his mind. He wouldn’t fix anything by staying home.

_If you leave, I’ll miss you._

Also, that. God, did Avi even know how powerful he was?

So he went to school, despite everything. He still had some stuff to take care of.

He apologized to Lucretia about skipping the week’s meeting, but she was more understanding than Johann gave her credit for.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Lucretia said. “It must be difficult dealing with all this attention with your stage fright.”

Oh, right, she still believed that. “It’s gonna be fine, I guess. It’s not like I have to play in front of the school or anything.”

“And you’re still good with playing for the Voidfish?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

She still looked worried, but Johann had a suspicion it wasn’t about him.

“You think this could be bad for it?”

“It’s not that. I just… fear all this attention might put the campaign in danger.”

Johann knew what she meant was that _his_ reputation might put it in danger. After all, she was keeping her own relationship with Magnus a secret for the sake of the project.

He decided not to say anything about it.

“What was it you told the others yesterday?” Johann asked instead.

Lucretia sighed. “The Principal returned the project proposal to me. He doesn’t think it’s good enough to be submitted to the school’s board.”

“Wait, are you serious? We worked our asses off to write that proposal. It had citations in APA.”

“Yes, but all of those were for our individual arguments to keep the Voidfish as a mascot for the whole school. He says without explicit support from the student body, we can’t submit the project to the school board just like that.”

Johann sighed. “So what do we do now?”

“We brainstormed some ideas, but I need to do some research before we put them in motion. I’ll talk more in depth about this next week.”

“Okay, then I guess see you then.”

“See you, Johann.”

After they parted ways, Johann walked to his next class. The break wouldn’t end for another ten minutes, but being in the open still made him nervous.

At least whatever Lup did, it worked enough for people to leave him alone, but Johann knew they were talking about him behind his back. He could still feel their stares when he left a room.

So Johann decided to stay inside the classrooms for as long as he could. That way, he wouldn’t have to deal with people until lunch, when he could hide with Avi on the bleachers.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

Johann turned around and saw: a wall.

No, it wasn’t a wall, just a mountain of a boy in a pair of bluejeans.

“Hey, there! Lup sent me to help you out.”

Johann nodded, “Hey, Barry. Uh, that’s cool.” He didn’t know what else to say to that.

“It’s okay,” Barry said once he was sitting down, “you don’t have to talk if you don’t wanna. Just tell me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, but, uh, I’m good now.”

“Cool!”

Part of Johann was kind of hoping Barry would move seats after that, but he didn’t. At least he didn’t try to talk to him either. Yeah, Barry was chill.

The rest of the day went about just as any other day. He and Avi met for lunch, Avi tried to retell some of the highlights of last night’s game to a very confused Johann. No one else approached him about the whole cryptid deal or, thank god, asked him to play anything. His violin was well hidden in the Voidfish room, anyway.

Voidfish duty came and Johann finally felt at peace for the first time that week. He hadn’t played anything in days.

“God, you have no idea the fucking week I’ve had,” he told the Voidfish. “And yes, I know it’s only Tuesday.”

He got his key for the drawer where he kept the violin. Even if only the core members of the committee had a copy, he still felt relieved when he saw the violin case intact inside.

But something stopped him before he opened it.

People knew he was the violinist now. And they could hear him play.

They always could.

He couldn’t bear with that thought.

Johann closed the violin case and locked it safely inside again.

He stayed in the Voidfish room until the end of his shift, but all he could do was stare at the football team train through the window.

***

Avi looked up to the last window on the third floor every once in a while, even if the windows were closed and the curtains drawn. Knowing Johann was there, alone, made him worry.

He tried to focus, see if he could pick up the melody of a violin playing up there, to no avail.

“Okay, I’m ready!” Carey said some feet ahead of him. She was holding the ball in place for Avi to kick.

Avi took a deep breath, then ran towards her.

Wasn’t there a Peanuts strip like this? The one with Charlie Brown about to kick the ball, only for Lucy van Pelt to move it in the very last second?

Nah, Carey wouldn’t do that…

… _But would her?_

Avi kicked the ball. It didn’t fly too far.

“Dude, what was that?”

“I’m sorry, I got nervous!”

“You think too much, man! We play with our body, not our minds.”

“Isn’t planning and strategizing an important part of football?”

Carey thought about it. “Hm, yeah, but that’s coach and Magnus’ job, and he doesn’t think half of the things he does anyway, so neither should you.”

Avi sighed. He wished he could be half as good as Magnus at football. Well, he wished he could be half as good as Magnus at _anything_. Magnus was naturally great at things, while Avi was just Avi-

Carey punched him in the arm.

“Ow! What was that for?” Avi cried.

“Stop thinking too much!”

“How do you even know I was thinking?!”

“I don’t know, you just do that face you do when you think and stuff.”

“… Wait, I do a face?”

Carey rolled her eyes. “Let’s go back to this, we’re not putting the ball down until you pass the twenty yard mark.”

Avi went to get another ball, but he still wasn’t over the whole face thing.

“Are you sure you want to spend all afternoon in this? You said you wanted to time yourself.”

“Yeah, but Magnus is going to help me with that, and he’s still dealing with _that_.”

She was looking at the seats, where coach was talking to Magnus about something very important, if Avi was reading his body language right.

“What are they talking about? The next game?”

“Hm? Oh, right, you haven’t been sitting with us at lunch lately. Magnus was scouted during our last game.”

Avi turned to Carey. “Really?”

“Yeah, coach told him this morning, and then he told us, but no one knows where they’re from. Killian thinks it might be Goldcliff, came with the other team during our last game.”

“That’s amazing.”

Of course Magnus would be scouted sooner or later… but this was sooner than Avi expected. And Goldcliff, too! That was Avi’s top pick for university.

He couldn’t help but feel a little pang of envy. A sports scholarship could help Avi a lot.

Well, if he wanted to get noticed, he had to work harder.

“Alright,” he told Carey, “I’m ready.”

“Hell yeah!” Carey squatted down and held the ball in place. “Come at me, man!”

“Hey, just out of curiosity, have you ever read Peanuts?”

“What?”

“Nothing. Coming!”

***

There was a knock on the door, followed by Avi’s voice. “Johann, you there?”

“Come on in,” Johann said.

Avi walked inside. He was out his training clothes, but his hair was still tied up in a messy man-bun. “Hey, I was wondering if you went home already. I didn’t hear you play today.”

“Yeah, I… wasn’t really feeling it.”

It was embarrassing to admit, but Johann knew Avi would understand, and if he thought anything of it, at least he didn’t say it.

“So,” Avi said in his usual cheerful tone, “are you done babysitting the Voidfish for today?”

“I think so, yeah”

“Because there’s this new arcade place that opened ten minutes away from here, wanna check it out?”

“Sure, sounds fun. I’ve never played arcade games before,” Johann said.

“Seriously? Oh, man, this is gonna be so much fun, then!” Avi said. “I promise I won’t kick your ass too hard, then!”

Johann looked down at the drawer where his violin still waited for him. He wondered if the Voidfish was sad he didn’t play today. Sorry, big guy, it had been a hard couple days. He said bye to the Voidfish, and they went on their way.

“By the way,” Avi said, “do I make a face when I think?”

“Yeah.”

“Really? But, like, every time?”

“You didn’t know?”

“Clearly not!”

The walk was longer than ten minutes, and it was starting to get too cold to be out this late. Still, Johann had fun. He didn’t know how much he had needed this.

(Johann was pretty sure Avi was letting him win, but he didn’t say anything.)

***

True to Avi’s word, with each day that passed, the situation got better.

People started to lose interest in Johann, be it because of Lup’s influence, or just the natural course of gossip. Johann would never know, but as long as he could walk on the halls without feeling like a freak, he didn’t really mind either. The whole thing felt like a bad dream now.

Still, Johann didn’t play for the Voidfish on thursday either.

He stood on the Voidfish room, this time with the violin out of its case, ready in position to play anything he wanted. Yet, nothing came to him. When he tried to raise the bow, his hands couldn’t move.

Maybe it was still too soon.

Yeah, a week of rest wouldn’t hurt, and he doubted the guys at the Voidfish committee would blame him for leaving the Voidfish without music that week.

For their next meeting on monday, Lucretia came prepared for Phase 1 of the Voidfish Project (trade mark). And by prepared, Johann meant Prepared™. A Powerpoint presentation, step-by-step, including infographics and illustrations. Printed copies of the program for every member of the Committee, and some spare copies.

“Shouldn't we wait for Professor Miller?”

“She’s busy right now.” Lucretia said. “The Science Fair is at the end of the month.”

She pressed play on the presentation and smiled. “I hope you brought something to take notes.

Magnus and Johann raised their pencils, and Lucretia began.

“So, last week we came up with some ideas to get and quantify student support for the project. A signed petition and a survey were mentioned, as well as a hashtag…”

“I proposed the hashtag,” Magnus told Johann with pride.

“I think for now our best chance is a petition,” Lucretia said.

Magnus beamed. “Oh, that’s not too hard! I’m pretty sure between the three of us we can get enough friends to help us. Right, Johann?”

“Sure,” Johann said. He could ask his one friend about it.

“Good,” Lucretia said, “because we have until the end of the month to hand the petition if we want this done this year.” Lucretia then clicked to the next slide, which contained the specifics of the petition. “Now, where can we gather at least a hundred people to sign a science related petition?”

Next slide: the Science Fair.

Johann raised his hand. “Uh, didn’t we have, um, problems with that last year?”

Lucretia sighed. “Yes, that’s a point I wanted to address. You weren’t there last year, Magnus, but out first experience with the Science Fair was…”

“A fucking mess,” Johann said.

“Not the wording I was looking for, but accurate nonetheless. But this year, we’re doing better. I already have the layout planned, an improved version of what we had last year-”

“No word art?” Johann asked.

“Please, don’t even joke about it.” Lucretia said in an extremely serious tone. “We want to sell the Voidfish as the Bobby the Bobcat of science, and what better place than the Science Fair?

Magnus raised his hand.

“Yes, Magnus?”

“I see your Bobby the Bobcat, and I raise you: Fisher the Voidfish.”

Johann sighed. “Again with that? Dude, that’s not-”

“It’s perfect.” Lucretia said. “I like it. We’re putting it on every sign.”

Johann groaned. “Seriously?”

“Yes, Johann. A mascot needs a name,” Lucretia said matter-of-factly.

“And you’re going with the first idea we got? Couldn’t we at least take another week to think of something better?”

“What’s wrong with my name?” Magnus asked.

“It’s cheesy.”

“We are going with this _because_ it’s cheesy,” Lucretia said.

“Thank you!” Magnus said. “Wait.”

“It’s the exact sort of thing the school’s board would like,” she explained, “and we don’t want them spending another ten years trying to find a new name.”

Johann opened his eyes wide. “It took them _ten fucking years_ to decide on Bobby the Bobcat?! Okay, I see where you’re coming from. All I’m saying is, there are other options for cheesy voidfish names.”

Lucretia raised her eyebrows with interest. “Sounds like you have one, Johann.”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

“Well, care to share it with the rest?”

“Void,” he said.

Lucretia and Magnus stared at him.

“… You know we can’t go with that,” Lucretia said.

Johann sighed. “Fine.”

Magnus got up from his seat and walked to the middle of the room. “Now that we’re all on the same page, let’s get started with operation: Fisher™!”

“How… how did you do that with your mouth?” Johann asked. “And how many names does this project need?”

“All of them!”

Magnus put his hand between the three of them, which Johann and Lucretia joined right away.

“Team Fisher!” Magnus exclaimed.

“Team Fisher!” Lucretia and Johann repeated.

***

Johann didn’t play that Tuesday.

He stared at the scattered music sheets in front of him, waiting for anything to catch his attention. His fingers itched, but when they touched the strings it just didn’t feel like anything.

The thought of never getting to play again scared him. How long would this last? The fear of recognition was already gone, but was it really? Just because people didn’t care about him didn’t mean they wouldn’t care about the music. The Ghost Violinist had been one of the most popular cryptids of the school.

Was there even another school cryptid? This was too much pressure for just one man.

“Bad day again?”

Johann didn’t even hear Avi coming.

“Shit,” he said, “what time is it?”

“Just ten past four! We don’t have training today, coach had an emergency, so we’re meeting tomorrow morning.”

“Oh! Well, that’s a relief. At least I’m not too far gone lose the sense of time yet,” Johann tried to joke.

It didn’t work, because Avi now looked at him with worry.

“I’m gonna be fine,” Johann rushed to say. “I just have musician’s block.”

Avi didn’t seem convinced, but he took that explanation without asking more about it.

“Well, how does Fisher feel? It’s your number one fan.”

“It’s not mad at me yet, but I could always play something from the radio or… wait, did you call it Fisher?”

“Yeah! Magnus told me thats its name now.”

Johann sighed. Of course.

“So, what are you gonna do? Do you go home when you can’t play?”

“Nah, I still have to take care of the V- I mean, Fisher. It’s just gonna be very boring without playing or watching you yeet balls into the sunset.”

Avi laughed. “I could go down there and try if you want?”

Johann pretended to consider it.

Either way, Avi didn’t leave the room. Instead, he moved the other free chair next to Johann and sat down. “Well, since I don’t have any plans for the rest of the day, and you’re clearly bored as hell, let’s watch a movie!”

That piqued Johann’s interest. “Hey, that’s a good idea. Do you have Netflix?”

“Nope! But I downloaded some old horror films on my phone for halloween and haven’t deleted them yet. I have to warn you, though, they are pretty scary.”

“How scary can they be? They didn’t have special effects back then.”

“That’s what makes them so great! They only had the script to work with, so they ended up writing the most horrific stories ever told!”

The movie was titled Space Zombie.

Johann raised an eyebrow.

“Look, you gotta watch it.”

It wasn’t as scary as Avi had promised, or maybe Johann had a higher tolerance for these things, because Avi yelped and jumped on his seat at every turn of the camera.

Johann found Avi’s reactions more entertaining than the film, anyway.

***

A month had passed, and Johann still couldn’t play anything.

But people on the halls didn’t follow him with their stares when he passed by, strangers didn’t address him by name, the first year students even came up with a new cryptid: the Gardener, a mystical entity who planted flowers all around the school, only to make them disappear on the next day.

(It was Dr. Highchurch. He always forgot his stuff all around, and plants were really hard to ignore.)

So then, why? Why was it so hard to pick up the violin again?

Johann didn’t stop playing after the embarrassment at the conservatory, so like hell he was letting this stop him now.

Maybe he just needed to find a new place to play, but where? And when, if not after class? He couldn’t leave the Voidfish Committee either.

The days became longer without music, like back in summer but with more things to do.

But in a weird way, time also seemed to go by faster, because out of nowhere, on the way to school, it started raining.

Winter was here, and it caught Johann without an umbrella, or even a jacket.

He didn’t make it to school dry.

“Achoo!”

“Bless you,” the whole class said.

“Thanks.” Johann was so mad at himself for catching a cold, he didn’t even feel embarrassed.

Avi leaned closer to his seat and whispered, “Hey, you’ve been sneezing all class. Maybe you should go to the infirmary?”

Johann sniffed. “I’m not sick.”

“Sure you aren’t, but maybe you can get something for these totally unrelated symptoms you’ve got.”

“I’m fine, man, it’s just water.”

Avi handed him a packet of tissues. “Here, for the water coming out of your nose.”

It really wasn’t that bad, Avi was just making a big deal of it. He was the type of guy who felt cold just by looking at someone wearing shorts in winter.

Still, Johann ended up agreeing to go to the infirmary anyway, if only to make him stop worrying so much. All he got out of it was cold medicine and flower petals stuck to his shirt.

“There, I hope now you’re happy.”

“I don’t know, you still look cold, maybe you should have some tea?”

“You know I just had cold medicine, right? If I drink tea I will fall asleep for the rest of the day.”

Oh, that sounded great, though. Not-cold aside, he was so tired lately. He felt like he could sleep for days.

Wow, it really was summer all over again.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Avi said with a laugh. “But I’m serious, please put a jacket on or something.”

“I’ll do it, once I get home.”

“… Wait, you didn’t bring a jacket? In this cold?!”

“I didn’t think it would be _that_ cold, it’s been a warm year. Also, you know, I don’t check the forecast, like, ever. But I’ll be fine, my clothes are dry again and-”

“Nope,” Avi cut him, “I’m not having any of that.”

He took his football jersey and put it around Johann’s shoulders.

Wh-

What.

“There you go! Now you won’t catch a real cold.”

Avi smiled, very proud of himself, like he had just solved another math problem instead of, you know, _giving Johann his jacket._

Because, hold on, this was happening, right? Avi had really just taken off his jacket because Johann looked cold? In the middle of the fucking hall?

The cold medicine must’ve been melting Johann’s brain.

“Oh, this is my classroom!” Avi said, still happy, still completely oblivious to anything.

“W-wait-”

“Just remember to give it back tomorrow! See you!”

And Avi was gone, leaving Johann alone in the hall.

Did.

Did Avi really not know what he just did???

“I heard someone needed tea here!”

Johann turned around and was faced with a really big Klaarg holding a very tiny cup of tea.

“Uh, me?” Johann said. “But it was joke, I don’t really-”

“That wasn’t a question.”

Johann took the cup of tea, and Klaarg left.

Everything smelled of mint and Avi for the rest of the day.


	6. Winter, part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johann learns something about himself, something about Avi, and something about life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how this one ends.  
> CW for underage drinking and more social anxiety.  
> (also i was drunk while editing this which in hindsight seems like a terrible idea but here we are anyway. sorry for the mistakes.)

Without music to fill his days, Johann had a lot of time to think, which was awful, since he was trying not to think about Avi.

They spent a lot of time together these days. Avi had noticed right away when Johann had stopped playing, and he was understanding of it. It was nice. Hanging out with Avi after school was one of the few things Johann felt excited about lately.

Then,

_-The jacket-_

And suddenly Johann started to see their hang outs in a new light.

Like, going to the games, watching movies, eating ice cream, just taking the long way home. Those were things friend did on their own. But looking back, didn’t all of those things have a different meaning together?

And then Avi lent him his jacket. Johann had returned it already, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the way it felt around him. It was just so big and warm, like Avi was with him all day.

A weird feeling, like bugs on his stomach, had plagued him all day. Johann tried to pass it as some symptom of the cold, but it had been a couple days now and he still couldn’t shake it off. So what was it?

“Ah, love.”

Johann jumped in his chair. “W-what?!”

“Huh?” Barry said, like he just remembered Johann was sitting next to him. A little blush crept over his face. “Sorry, I was thinking out loud again.” He sighed, then smiled. “I’m just so happy, you know? I can’t believe Lup and I have been together for almost a year now.”

Oh. Oh! Right, right. _Barry_ was in love with Lup. The love story of second year and all that. Good for them, honestly, they looked so happy together. Barry exuded so much love energy. Was that contagious? Yeah, that was it.

Barry sighed again. “Have you ever been in love, Johann?”

“What? No. Why do you ask?”

“It’s nothing important, just… Can I ask you a favour?”

A favour? For Barry? Johann didn’t know if there was anything he could do for him, but he nodded anyway. He did owe him for helping with the rumors all month.

Barry looked around before leaning closer and whispering. “It’s about music. Our anniversary is coming up, and I was thinking…”

“Look, dude, love is cool and all,” Johann cut him, already fearing where this was heading, “but I don’t play for other people’s girlfriends.”

“Oh, no, no, no, I get it! That’s not what I meant, though I, uh, see how that sounded now.”

Johann looked at Barry with suspicion. “Wait, really?”

“I just want some advice. See, I play the piano.”

“Oh!”

“Yeah, and I wanted to play something for her on our anniversary, so I have a month to prepare a good romantic song. But the thing is, I don’t know a lot about music, so I was wondering if you had an idea of where I could look.”

Huh. Johann would have never seen that coming. It was refreshing. People never asked him for music advice. He had a lot of that to give.

“I mean, I’m not an expert on the piano either…” He pulled out his phone. “But Chopin was. Listen, you can never go wrong with Chopin.”

[He had a perfect piece in mind](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSpI84tBRTQ). All it took was looking for it on YouTube and playing it for Barry. Johann didn’t know anything about love, but he knew a big deal about music.

“Hm…” Barry hummed in thought. “It’s beautiful, but I think it might be way over my league. Do you have something for a medium level player?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Well, maybe Chopin was overkill for a one year anniversary anyway. Barry could play this on their wedding if he wanted. [Maybe Beethoven was the man for this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2romy9t85t4). “What do you think.”

“Hm… It’s a bit slow.”

“Well, it’s a romantic piece.”

“Yeah, but my love for Lup is a little more…” he did some gesture. “You know?”

He didn’t know. “Yeah, I know.”

“How about that one?” Barry pointed at the first recommended video. [Some Wagner piece with a very cheesy name.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0c7jTvH-2M)

Johann scoffed. “Yeah, I wouldn’t consider that one.”

“Why not? It has ‘Romance’ in the title.”

“It’s literally the title, and it should tell you enough about it. Do you really want to play a piece titled ‘Romance’ to your girlfriend?”

“Why don’t we listen first?”

Johann sighed, but he clicked the video anyway. Maybe Barry had to listen for himself to see what Johann meant. Anyone with taste would know it was-

“Perfect!” Barry said.

Why did Johann even bother. “If you say so.”

“Thanks, Johann, you just saved our anniversary.”

“I could make you a bigger favour and get you a better one. Like, by a respectable composer. With a better name.”

“No, I like this one.”

“Seriously, there’s so many other options-”

Barry pressed play to the video again.

Great, now that melody would be stuck to Johann’s brain all week.

“By the way,” Barry said, “if you need help with that other thing, you can ask me anytime.”

“Hm? You mean the rumours? Everyone forgot about it now, don’t worry.”

“I’m still here for that too.” He lowered his tone of voice. “But I meant the ‘love’ thing.”

Johann felt his face heat up. “I, uh, won’t. But thanks anyway.”

Barry nodded and their conversation was over. Johann didn’t like the knowing smile in his face.

What did Barry even know about love? He was going to play Wagner for his girlfriend.

***

It had been a weird month for Johann, but at least the Voidfish Committee remained the same.

Once again, the Science Fair was upon them. Lucretia paced around their stand, going over their plan for the millionth time.

“We got the flyers,” she said, “the infographics, the video presentation, the petition- Johann, do we have enough pens?”

“Yes to all of that. We’re good, Lucretia.”

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry.” She paced again, then stopped abruptly. “Has Magnus arrived yet?”

“Nope.”

Lucretia sighed. “Okay, it’s fine, he’s probably on his way.”

Professor Miller approached them then. She was a perfect mix of excitement and stress, but it was the normal kind of stress. “Alright! Everyone is set up and I can rest for exactly three minutes before I have to go again. Ready for round two?”

“Please don’t call it that,” Lucretia and Johann said in unison.

“Everything is ready here,” Lucretia said. “We’re just waiting for the people to come and do our best.”

“That’s the spirit! Is Magnus going to join you today?”

As if cued, Magnus appeared through the entrance of the gymnasium, running all the way there like he was on the field. Johann flinched at the thought of Magnus tackling them.

“Magnus, you had me really worried!” Lucretia said, but she was clearly relieved to see him.

“Sorry! I thought these would be done sooner, but it took all morning sewing the patches.”

Before anyone could ask him what he was talking about, Magnus opened his bag and took it out: a purple sweater with a jellyfish sewn on the front.

“What do you think?” Magnus said, smiling from ear to ear. “If we’re going to be turning Fisher into a mascot, people are going to want merch! This is just the prototype, of course.”

He handed it to Johann. The bright colors contrasted with everything he was wearing, and just looking at it, he could see it was at least two sizes big for him.

“They only had those in large, but if you don’t like it-”

“It’s perfect,” Johann said. He put it on immediately.

Magnus beamed. “I’m glad you like it!”

“Oh, these look lovely!” Professor Miller said. “Do I get one too?”

“I only made three sweaters. But I got something else for you.” From another pocket in his bag, he got a scarf in the same colors as the sweater, only this one had a jellyfish pattern printed on it.

Professor Miller was beyond herself. “Oh, this is beautiful, Magnus. Thank you!”

Lucretia looked at her own sweater with a soft smile. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“Of course I did! Teams need an uniform.”

“What do you say we take a picture?” Professor Miller said. “Oh, wait, I think Johann’s crying.”

“No, I’m not. Shut up.”

Five minutes later, the fair started, and it was a rollercoaster. They spent the day talking to the other students about the mascot project and how important it would be for the science program. And it worked! People joined the petition right away, they seemed so interested in the project they even went as far as calling the Voidfish by that cheesy name Magnus gave it.

“Fisher the Voidfish really caught on,” Magnus mentioned, casually, totally not in an ‘I told you so’ way.

Even Johann had to admit he had been right on the money with it. Well, who knew the spirit of the school better than their star jock? And having him there to talk to people helped a lot too, a clear improvement from Lucas and Johann’s attempt at socialization last year. Magnus knew how to make friends with everyone, and his presence there also attracted the unusual crowd for a science fair, such as the rest of the football team, and even the cheerleader squad.

Lup and Barry walked together around the booths. Taako wasn’t with them this time, which was fair. It must’ve been hard being the third wheel for these too.

“Hey, Johann, how is it going?” Lup asked. It still felt weird to be addressed by her so casually, but she didn’t intimidate Johann as much as before.

“It’s cool.” He said. And while he was at it, he pushed the petition her way. “Are you here to support Fisher the Voidfish?”

“Sure! I love this idea so much. Fisher would make an excellent school mascot.” She leaned closer. “But don’t tell Klaarg I said that, he gets kinda jealous.”

She signed the petition, then something caught her eye on the next stand, and she left the two boys alone for a moment.

“Sup, Barry. You didn’t get a stand this year?”

“Nah, too busy with school work. Besides, my research is really slow. You don’t break the laws of life and death in a year.”

“Oh, right, I forgot about that shit. Call me when you find the philosopher stone or whatever.”

“I will!” Barry laughed. “By the way, about the thing we talked the other day…”

Johann’s guard immediately went up. If Barry was here to talk about bullshit again…

But no, he was looking at Lup, who seemed very interested on an experiment of spontaneous combustion.

“Oh!” Johann said, as he realized what this was about. “How is it going? Do you need any help?”

“No, no. It’s going pretty well, actually. I just wanted to, well, let you know, and thank you again for the help.”

“No problem, dude.”

“By the way, you seem a little tense. Is everything else okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“Magnus! Johann!”

Johann’s stomach did a flip.

It was Avi, of course. They agreed to meet today at the science fair. Why did it surprise him all of a sudden?

“Ah, well, I’ll catch up with Lup.” Barry said, again with that knowing smile.

Johann wanted to tell Barry he had no reason to leave, but he was interrupted by the very loud football players next to him.

“Yo, bro!” Magnus said. “You’re just in time to be the sixty-ninth sign in this petition!”

“Nice! Give me that pen now!”

“Magnus,” Lucretia sighed, “please tell me you didn’t tell all those people to wait because of that. We could have reached our goal already!”

“They’ll be back!” Magnus said.

“And if they don’t, I’ll get them. It’s the least I could do for…” Avi’s words trailed off as he finally took a good look at Johann. Obviously, he had noticed the sweater.

Now, for some reason, Johann felt very self conscious.

Fortunately, Magnus’ loudness came to the rescue. “Avi, Avi, you gotta check this out!” He reached inside his bag and produced a small wooden duck. “Guess for who it is!”

“Oh, man! Is that for Killian? Dude, she’s gonna love it.”

“You haven’t seen Carey’s yet! She still has to polish some stuff, but it’s gonna be ready just in time for tomorrow!”

The two of them kept talking about… ducks? for a long while. For the first time, Johann was glad Magnus was there to keep the conversation going.

What had gotten to him? Now even being around Avi felt weird.

“Guys…” Lucretia said.

Everyone turned to her. She was holding the petition.

A hundred names.

“We did it!”

“FUCK YEAH!”

Magnus grabbed her and Johann in a strong bear hug, lifting them both of the ground. Lucretia was so excited she didn’t stop to worry about all the people watching them. Even Johann, who was being crushed, couldn’t get mad at Magnus for this. They had finally made it!

The voidfish swam freely in its tank. People loved it.

***

By the end of the day, the news that the science program might be getting its own mascot was already spread all across the school. It didn’t seem like a big deal to some, thought they admitted the big jellyfish was beautiful in its own strange way.

Even Klaarg, from the cheer squad, seemed on board with the idea.

“I’m getting a little sibling!”

“That’s not how it works, honey,” Lup tried to tell him, but Klaarg was too far in his cloud to listen to her.

And then, of course, was the Voidfish Committee. Johann was still smiling when Avi saw him at the end of class that day.

“Congrats on the Voidfish!” Avi said to him from across the hall.

Johann almost jumped. He was either too caught up in his thoughts or Avi had said that louder than intended. “You, um, you were there too, remember?”

“Yeah, but it didn’t feel right for me to interrupt your celebration. Besides, Magnus screams really loud when he’s excited.”

“God, he really does,” Johann said with a fond smile.

It was amazing how far those two had come in just a few months. Avi couldn’t help but feel proud of them. They were his favorite people in the world, after all. Johann was even wearing one of those sweaters Magnus had been making in between training sessions.

Johann noticed Avi was looking at the sweater and turned to the side. “I know, I know, it looks dumb.”

“Oh, that’s not what I was thinking!” Avi said. “As a matter of fact, I think it looks the opposite of dumb.”

“And that would be?”

 _Cute_ , Avi thought, with the way it was probably one or two sizes bigger than it should, almost slipping off one of Johann’s shoulders.

But that was a weird thing to point out, so instead Avi said, “I just really like how it contrasts with your whole emo aesthetic. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear this much color.”

It probably wasn’t what Johann expected to hear, but it got a laugh out of him nonetheless. “Well, that’s rich coming from you. It’s not like that 70s’ rockstar hair goes with the whole jock aesthetic.”

Avi snorted. “Do I actually look like a rockstar, or you just like going one decade back everytime you dunk on me? Anyway, I just happen to like my hair long.”

“And I just happen to like my sweater’s bright purple.”

“Well, I’m glad! I guess that means I won’t have to lend you my jacket anymore.”

Avi meant that as a joke, but Johann wasn’t laughing. In fact, though they were walking next to each other, he was clearly making an effort to look the other way. The hair covering half of his face didn’t help.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m totally fine,” Johann said. He sound totally not fine.

“Hey, I meant that as a joke, of course I don’t mind lending you my jacket from time to time.”

“Who said this was about the jacket?”

“So… _this_ is about something.”

Johann remained silent.

All of Avi’s worries came back again. “Johann, what’s wrong? You haven’t been yourself recently.”

Johann took a moment to answer. “What do you mean?” He said carefully.

“You’ve been, I don’t know, kinda down? And I haven’t heard you play in over a month.”

Johann turned to Avi again. “Oh.” He looked down. “I kinda forgot about that.”

“Is it because of… you know, your secret?”

Johann sighed. “I don’t know. I think it was, at first, but I’ve spent so long without playing I kinda forgot how to get back to it? But at the same time I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m not with the violin, and it’s just been affecting my mood.”

“I’m sorry, man.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“I know, I do that a lot,” Avi laughed. “Can I be selfish for a second? I really miss hearing you play.”

Johann turned to Avi. He didn’t say anything, but he smiled which was more than enough to Avi.

“I know I can’t help you with what you’re going through, but at least I can take you somewhere fun?”

Johann opened his eyes wide and turned around again. “Does he even know how he sounds…”

“What was that?”

Johann sighed. “I’d love to, Avi, thank you.”

***

An emergency meeting was called for the Voidfish Committee the day after the science fair. Now that phase one was done, it was time for phase two: the wait.

It was the boring phase.

Magnus was even more pumped up than ever. Johann had only seen this much energy during football games. “So when do we make the announcement? Oh! We could borrow the school’s radio equipment.”

“You know people on the radio?” Johann asked, not surprised.

Magnus cracked his knuckles. “I will after this.” Wait, was he going to fight them? Is that what that gesture implied??

“We haven’t won yet,” Lucretia said. “The school board won’t pass the project right away, this was just the first step into starting the discussion. I’ll probably have to meet with them to argue my case and get enough members voting in favour of it, and that might be anytime between now and the end of the year.”

“Didn’t the principal give you an estimated time frame?”

“Yes, he said they would call me between now and the end of the year,” Lucretia repeated.

Johann and Magnus groaned.

“So there’s _nothing_ we can do now?” Magnus asked “Just sit and wait?”

“I’m afraid so. But you have time to make friends with the radio club before asking for the equipment when the project gets approved.”

“I mean,” Magnus said, “yeah, that’s _one_ way to do it.” Seriously was he going to fight those people?

“And Johann, could you get me some footage of the Voidfish?”

“Uh…” Shit. Johann hadn’t been recording the Voidfish in a month. “Does it need to be new or…?”

“As long as it’s a good recording I don’t care if it’s from this year or last, but it needs to show the best side of the Voidfish. It might help my case when I go to the school’s board.”

Johann hesitated. He still had the archive, of course, but the thought of watching those videos again…

“I know the video archive is kinda big, so I’ll just ask you to do this and nothing else. Are you okay with that?”

No, it didn’t matter what he thought, Lucretia and Magnus were doing everything in their power to keep the project going, and so should Johann. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Then it’s all set. Phase two of operation Fisher has started.”

“You’re really into this whole ‘operation’ thing,” Johann said.

“It sounds cool as shit,” Lucretia replied.

Damn right it did.

***

Later that day, Johann put his free time during the Voidfish shift to a good use.

If only watching videos didn’t get boring so fast.

Sure, the Voidfish’ glow was beautiful, but after watching it in person, a simple recording didn’t compare. None of these videos made it justice, how was he supposed to pick one?

And if that wasn’t enough, there was also the music. _His_ music. Listening to himself play when he couldn’t even pick the violin was so unfair. Why couldn’t he go back to that?

He stared at the Voidfish swim around his tank. It had been a very big day for it yesterday, and aside from looking a little tired, it was swimming just fine. Did it even know in a matter of months everyone would know about it? That it would become part of the school for the rest of time?

“How do you deal with all the attention?” Johann asked.

The Voidfish just kept swimming, it was what it did. That sounded like a good metaphor. Just ignore everyone and do what you do best.

But what Johann did best was play the violin.

What if everyone started talking about him again? How could Johann ever go back to normal like that? Maybe it really was better to find another place to play, but…

But he wanted to go back to how things were, just him, his violin, and the Voidfish glowing, and…

_I really miss hearing you play._

Johann missed playing for Avi too.

He opened the drawer and got the violin out. Then, he closed his eyes and tried to ignore his thoughts. He didn’t have to play for everyone, but he could play for one person.

***

It was thursday after class, and one of their last training sessions before the last game of the semester next week. Aside from the ever growing pressure, it was a day like any other out there. The sound of running, kicking the ball, bodies falling to the floor, and shouts of excitement surrounded the football team. Not everyone would have picked up on the sound of a violin coming from the third floor of the old building, and even less recognize [the partita it was playing.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqA3qQMKueA)

Avi smiled to himself. It was good having Johann back.

***

Carey ran with the ball like the barrier of sound was a optional. That girl was fast! It made it hard to follow her with the eyes, specially from the side view. Johann seriously needed to start watching the games from the third floor.

Someone from the opposite team managed to catch up to her, but Carey’s reflexes were as fast as her legs. Before the guy from Rockport even got a chance to touch her, The ball was already on Magnus’ hands, and there was nothing stopping him from running to the scoring zone.

And it was a goal!

Wait, that’s what those were called?

Anyway, they got more points, everyone cheered.

The score had stopped being a problem for the Bobcats a long time ago. Currently, they tripled the opposite team, and there were less than ten minutes left for the game, so there was no way they would lose it now. Still, everyone was on the edge of their seat.

Johann browsed his phone. He still didn’t know enough about football to stay for a whole game without getting distracted. He kept an ear out just in case…

A whistle pierced through the noise just mere seconds before the end of the game. Johann looked up, and, yes! It was Avi’s turn.

The ball was relatively far from the goalpost, but nothing Avi hadn’t done before. Johann clutched his phone on his hands.

_You can do it, Avi, come on…_

Avi kicked the ball and it went right between the goalposts. And then, the game was over.

Down in the field, the Bobcats hugged each other after another win. The cheerleaders guided the crowd to a final cheer, and Johann stood up, jumped, screamed with everyone.

He didn’t wait for the path to clear, Johann just walked down the stairs and made his way through the crowd to meet Avi.

***

Avi almost didn’t see Johann coming among the people, but he smiled brightly when he finally did. “Johann!”

“Dude! That was amazing!”

“Did you see that?!”

“You got the winning kick, man!”

“I know! I mean, I wouldn’t call it _the_ winning kick, we were already leading by like twenty points-”

“Take some credit, dude!”

“Okay, okay!” Avi laughed. “I did pretty great!”

“You did-”

“Three hoorays for Magnus!” Someone in the crowd said. “Hip hip!”

“HOORAY!”

“Hip hip!”

“HOORAY!”

“Hip hip!”

“Hooray!” Avi screamed with everyone else.

Johann gave him a look.

“You gotta admit he did great too!”

“He gets enough praise,” Johann said.

“And I got you, so why would I want more than that?”

Johann blinked a couple times. “Do you even hear your-?”

“WHO ARE WE!?”

“BOBCATS!”

Johann sighed. At least, Avi thought he did, the team was too loud to hear anything else.

“I have to go back with the guys!” Avi tried to tell Johann.

Johann nodded, then probably said something along the lines of ‘it’s too loud for me anyway, see you inside!’ And went to the exit.

Avi waved goodbye and joined the rest of the team for some more celebratory screaming.

“Good game, kids! I’m very proud of you!” Coach told them once things had calmed down and most of the people had left. “The semester is over and I’m proud to say this is already shaping itself to be the best season we’ve had in a long time.”

“WE’RE THE BEST!” Carey yelled, then everyone cheered with her.

“Now, who wants to celebrate with pizza?! Because I’m starving!”

The team cheered, then everyone started moving towards the changing rooms.

“Man, I could eat three whole pizzas right now!” Magnus proclaimed to the world.

Carey snorted. “Leave some for the rest, hungry hungry hippo!”

“Coach is going to stop taking us out if you keep wasting his money like that,” Killian said. “But also, man, I could eat _five_ pizzas.”

“Oh, is this a challenge?” Magnus said back at her. “Because now I feel like eating _seven_ pizzas. What do you say, Avi? You wanna join on the challenge?”

“Actually, I’m not-”

“Excuse me! Mr. Burnsides, may I talk to you for a sec?”

A man in jeans and a blazer approached them before they left the field. For an untrained eye it might have looked like just a random dude, but Avi noticed right away he had to be a big shot. The sneakers he were worth more than Avi’s entire uniform.

“Ugh, it’s another one of those dudes,” Magnus said. “Listen, Mr. Dude, I’m really not interested-”

“Come on, you haven’t even heard what I have to say! Give me five minutes and I’ll change your mind.”

Magnus looked at the three of them and shrugged. “Sorry, gotta deal with this. I’ll catch up to you guys in a moment.”

“Sure,” they said, and they walked to the changing rooms without him.

“How many of them has it been?” Avi asked. It really felt like the scouts appeared from one day to another.

“I think this is the fifth one?” Carey guessed. “No, wait, sixth counting the guy who called coach last month.”

“That’s… a lot of schools,” Avi said.

“Not that they have any chance,” Killian said. “As I understand, he’s going to follow Lucretia.”

“This is where we part ways,” Carey said, pointing at the girls’ changing room.

“Oh, yeah, see you next week.”

The girls entered through the door, and Avi followed suit on his side.

He still thought about the subject for a while after that.

“Must be nice having a choice, anyway,” Avi said to himself.

Avi had never doubted Magnus would become a professional star, he was one of the best players of their generation. It was expected that every school would want Magnus on their team. Who wouldn’t? He was strong, cool, talented, amazing in just everything he did…

He sighed.

Avi finished changing and, since Magnus hadn’t come back yet, exited through the other side. Johann was waiting there, staring down at his phone but looking up just as Avi walked outside.

“Sorry for the wait!” Avi said.

“It’s fine, I lost the track of time watching a dude build miniature homes on Facebook. You ready to go?”

“Just one moment, I wanted to say bye to Magnus before I we leave.”

Johann nodded. “That’s cool. What are we watching, by the way? You’re not secretly taking me to a shitty horror movie marathon, are you?”

Avi laughed. “I just have free tickets for any movie. You can pick this time, since my taste is too bad for you?”

“Nah, I’m fine with anything you pick. You wouldn’t like the ones I’d chose, anyway. They’re too highbrow.”

“Oh, so you’re a music _and_ movie snob? Somehow it doesn’t surprise me.”

Johann lightly pushed Avi, which in turn made Avi laugh even harder now, and then they were both laughing and teasing each other about their taste in movies.

“Avi!” Magnus called from the changing rooms.

“Hey, there you are!” Avi said. “I was starting to worry that dude tried to kidnap you.”

“I’m too strong to be kidnapped,” Magnus said. “Oh hey, Johann, are you joining us for the pizza party? We’re going to see who can eat the most pizza without puking.”

Johann visibly grimaced at that. “Fortunately, I already have plans.”

“You mean unfortunately?”

“No.”

“Ha ha! You’re so funny.” He turned to Avi. “Well, maybe next time. Let’s go, Avi!”

“Actually,” Avi said, “I’m skipping the celebratory pizza too.”

Magnus looked outraged. “Why?! Wait, is it because the pepperoni? We can order you a different one. Actually, scratch that, we’re banning pepperoni from the table.”

“No, no, it’s not that, don’t worry. I also have plans, Johann and I are going to the movies.”

“Oh! Then I hope you guys have fun. I guess I’ll be seeing you next week.”

“We don’t have class in two weeks, remember?” Johann said. “It’s Candlelights break.”

“I know! Next week is my birthday!” Then, Magnus gasped loudly. “Johann, you should come!”

Johann froze in place for a moment. “Uh. Like, to your party?”

“Yes! It’s gonna be awesome. I’m becoming an adult so I’m partying like an adult!”

“That means alcohol,” Avi explained.

Then the two of them high-fived.

“Isn’t the legal drinking age twenty one?”

“Come on, Johann, don’t be a narc.” Avi said.

“Yeah, no narcs allowed in Magnus’ party!” Magnus proclaimed. “So, see you on wednesday?”

Johann didn’t seem as excited as the two of them, but in the end he ended up giving in to Magnus’ enthusiasm. “Yeah, sure.”

“Awesome! I’ll text you my address later. Enjoy your movie!”

“Don’t puke all the pizza!” Avi said back, then he turned to Johann. “Shall we go, then? It’s getting late, but hopefully all the fun movies will be sold out and we’ll get to see one you like.”

Johann just rolled his eyes, but he was smiling too.

***

When was the last time Johann had been at a birthday party?

Standing in front of Magnus’ door, he wondered if, maybe, there was an important set of party rules he should have studied before coming. What did people do at parties, anyway? Drink, eat, dance? Did people dance anymore?

He was taking too long to knock on the door. It was cold outside, and the weather man had warned about rain later in the day. Johann forgot his umbrella, again, but at least he was wearing his jellyfish sweater. Magnus had given it to him, it seemed fitting to wear it to his birthday.

Alright, no more standing outside like a creep. He knocked the door.

“Coming, I’m coming!” Came Magnus’ voice from the inside moments later, and then he opened the door. “Johann!”

Waved “Happy birthday.”

Magnus extended his arms, about to give him a hug, but he stopped himself. “Shit, sorry, I’ve been hugging people all day, I forgot you don’t like it very much.”

Against his better judgement, Johann extended his arms. “It’s fine. You get one free, but only because it’s your birthd- uf!”

Magnus gave him a bear hug. “Aw, thank you! That’s the best gift I could ask for.”

“That reminds me,” Johann said when Magnus let go. He took the small, flat package from his pocket. “Here’s your real gift.”

Magnus took the small package and tried to guess what was inside just by looking at it, before giving up and tearing the wrapping paper. “Oh shit, is this a mixtape?”

“Yeah, I just, you know, stuck a bunch of stuff that remind me of you.”

“Awesome! What did you put in there? The ‘Stones? Pistols?”

“Mostly classics, there’s some Beethoven in there, as well as Haydn, but I don’t want to spoil.”

Magnus laughed loudly. “Oh, man, that’s way better. Come in, come in! Everyone’s in the backyard.”

Magnus took Johann through the hall. His house was smaller than he thought, maybe because everything else about Magnus was so big, but this place didn’t look much different than Johann’s own place.

Wait, was it right to make comments about other people’s homes? Not even a minute had passed and it was already harder than Johann thought.

But the hardest part was yet to come.

When they got to the other end, the sudden change in lighting blinded Johann for a moment. He opened his eyes, and found himself in the middle of a backyard full of people.

“Hey, guys! Johann is here!”

Football players, cheerleaders, all the popular kids. And they were all looking at Johann now.

“Oh, it’s Johann!”

“Hey, Johann.”

“Hi!”

Too many people saying hello at the same time. Johann’s brain took way too long to come up with a plan of action, and when it did, all it had for him was, ‘wave, say hello to everyone, find place to hide.’

Johann waved. “Hello, everyone.” Then went to hide, but there wasn’t any good hiding places in this backyard, so he did the next best thing and walked to the snack table.

Okay. That hadn’t been that bad.

He felt very thirsty.

“Well, one of us has to change.”

He didn’t notice Lucas until it was too late. The guy looked exactly as he did last year, except he now had eyebags, part of the University life, and he was wearing a Voidfish sweater.

Johann sighed. “Do whatever you want, but _I_ am not taking this sweater off. It’s too cold.”

“Hey, man, I was just kidding.” Lucas said. “How have you been?”

Just kidding? How have you been? Wow, University had really broken this poor man.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Lucas scoffed.

“Nothing.” Johann lied. He focused on the snack table again. The only non alcoholic beverages available were a stack of orange juice boxes. “What are you doing here? I thought you were studying in Rockport.”

“It’s the holiday break, and I happen to live here.”

“Right, you and Magnus are neighbours.” Which reminded Johann, “Hey, how come everyone in the Voidfish Committee is a criminal?”

“Oh, so they finally told you.” Lucas smiled smugly. “If you’re not ready to break a couple laws for the Voidfish, maybe you were never ready to join the Committee.”

“You know this is exactly why people think we’re a cult?”

Lucas laughed evilly. Johann rolled his eyes.

“Anyway,” he said, “I admit I wasn’t very happy about leaving the committee to you guys, but I’m amazed of how far you’ve come in this semester. My mom told me you finally sent the project to the school board.”

“Yeah, it was a lot of work, but the people at the school really seemed to like the idea of a new mascot.”

“See? I knew you guys would make it.”

“You literally just said you didn’t want to leave the committee to us.”

“Those are two different things. With Lucretia in charge, it was obvious things would go well.”

Well, at least they both could agree on that. “Where is she, by the way? I mean, I assume she’d be here, considering she’s…”

Lucas pointed at the center of the party, and Johann saw Lucretia there, right next to Magnus, laughing at something silly he was doing with a couple straws. Woah, Johann had never seen her this happy and relaxed.

“You don’t wanna go there,” Lucas said. “Trust me, I’ve had to be their third wheel since before they started dating.”

“They look really happy.”

“Yeah, young love.” Lucas took a sip of his drink and nodded wisely. “Save these moments, kid.”

“You’re one year older than me,” Johann mumbled. He finally took his box of juice and tried to look for another place to stand where no one would try to talk to him.

That’s when he saw Avi, doing a handstand while some guys from the football team cheered him on.

Johann’s first instinct was to stay away for a moment. He was really glad to see Avi at the party, but getting back in the crowd was just not a good idea right now.

But then Avi stood on his feet again, and he noticed Johann.

“Johann, you came!” Avi yelled across the yard. Well, so much for staying unnoticed.

Avi walked towards him and gave him a hug.

Like, a _really tight_ hug _._ In front of everyone.

“So good to see you, man!

“A-air.”

“Oh, sorry!” Avi released Johann, only to put an arm around his shoulder, still tight. “Hey, guys, did you see Johann?”

Everything was happening to fast for Johann. The group approached them now, and Johann couldn’t get away because Avi was still holding him and also, why, the fuck, was Avi clinging so much to him?

That’s when he noticed the light flush in his face, the dumb smile, added to the complete lack of awareness to Johann’s state.

“Wait, are you drunk?” Johann asked him.

“Me? Nah! Am I drunk, guys?”

“Not at all!” Carey said. She looked as drunk as him.

“Told you!” Avi said innocently. He leaned close, like, _really_ close, and whispered in Johann’s ear. “That’s a lie, I’m, like, totes drunk. But don’t tell anyone.”

“AVIIIIIII!” Magnus called from the other end of the back yard.

“MAGNUUUUUUUUS!” Avi yelled back.

And that was all it took for Avi to release Johann, who took the chance to scoot a couple steps away.

“Gotta steal him for a second, guys. Ya boys are gonna make some fancy drinks!”

“Hell yeah we are! We’re talking high class shit, like, real vodka, and the blue thing.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t have enough money for the blue thing. But I have blue Kool-Aid!”

“Blue Kool-Aid!” Avi cheered. “Be-ar-be, guys!”

And just like that, Avi left.

Johann stood in place awkwardly.

“Hey, you had anything to drink yet?” Carey asked. “There’s some beer at the-”

“I don´t drink. Bye!”

And Johann walked somewhere else to catch his breath and still his heart.

Just when he was about to lose all hope in this party, he saw Lucretia. Now that Magnus was back inside the house, she looked more like the quiet girl Johann was used to know.

“Lucretia, hey.”

“Oh, hi, Johann. Are you enjoying the party?”

Johann shrugged. “I’m not really a party guy.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Lucretia laughed. “There’s so much noise.”

“Too much noise,” Johann agreed. “Though you seemed to have fun back then with Magnus.”

A shy smile crossed Lucretia’s face. “It’s just easier when I’m with him.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this relaxed in the three years we’ve known each other.”

Lucretia laughed at that. “I know, I’ve been very busy these days…”

“That’s one way to put it, Madame President.”

“Huh, I actually like the sound of that. Maybe I should start making people address me that way.”

“Wow, it only took you a semester to go the dictator route,” said Lucas, joining in their conversation with hands and pockets full of sweets.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lucretia said, taking a sip from her cup.

“Hey, Johann, did you know Lucretia named herself president of the committee?”

“Honestly, it doesn’t surprise me,” Johann said.

“We held a vote,” Lucretia said. “It’s not my fault you had a cold that day. Who even gets sick in summer?”

“It’s more common than you think!” Lucas defended himself.

“You could’ve moved the vote, though,” Johann pointed out.

Lucretia looked at him. “Oh, so we’re doing this now?”

Johann shrugged. “I’m just saying.”

“Well, we can hold another vote when we’re back, if you really…” She was cut by the sound of her phone going off in her pocket. “I’m sorry, I need to take this.”

“It’s okay,” Johann said as Lucretia took a couple steps away to talk into the phone.

Everything was chill, but when Lucretia’s expression started to change, Johann and Lucas exchanged a look. Each second that passed made her look more worried.

“Everything okay?” Johann mouthed, but Lucretia didn’t pay attention to him.

“Yes…” she said to the phone. “I understand, yes. I know, I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking at my phone, I’m at… Yes, I’ll be there in half an hour.” And then she hung up.

Half an hour?

“I take it wasn’t good news,” Lucas commented when Lucretia returned to their side.

“Wait, are you leaving?” Johann said. “ _Now_?”

“I have to, that was one of the members of the school’s board. Remember I told you they would contact me to talk about the project.”

“And they decided to call you today? We’re on break.”

“Well, the school board is not on break, and I have no saying on when they can call me for a meeting.”

In a matter of seconds, Lucretia was consumed by all the stress of the semester again.

“At least you’re coming back?” Johann asked.

Lucretia sighed. “I don’t know. I hope I do,” she turned to the two of them and smiled. “I’ll go say bye to Magnus. Enjoy the party without me.”

And then she walked inside the house, leaving Johann alone with Lucas.

Well, that was a bummer. Just when Johann was starting to feel like he could enjoy this party.

Okay, fine, he was going to stay with Lucas. At least they had more in common than…

“Yeah, I should be leaving too.”

“What?” Johann exclaimed. “You too? Where? _Why_?”

“Yes, me too, I’m going home, and I have other things to do.”

“No, you can’t leave! You’re literally the last person in this party I can still talk to!”

“Geez, thanks. But sorry, I only came here to wish Magnus a happy birthday and steal some food. Unlike you kids, I have homework due for the break _and_ two tests coming when it’s over.”

“Who assigns homework for the break?” Johann cried.

“University teachers. Say good-bye to Magnus for me.”

And Lucas left, too.

Johann stood there for a moment without knowing what else to do. The people at the party kept… partying or whatever.

In a last attempt for survival, he spotted a lone bench at the edge of the backyard. It was a little wet from the rain earlier that day, so no one wanted to sit on it.

For a last option, it wasn’t too bad.

Johann sat down, took out his phone, and proceeded to ignore everyone around him for as long as he could.

***

Inside the kitchen was lit. Two bros just chilling, drinking beer while making drinks and being awesome. It was all nice and chill, and definitely not a bad idea.

“I’m having trouble readin’ these instructions,” Magnus said, “are you sure the vodka goes before the sugar?”

“Yeah, bro, I saw the video at home.” Yes, Avi recalled it perfectly, “The dude was all like, sprinkle this motherfucker right on top, like, with the thing, and, just mix the shit out of it before the blue one makes it all fancy… or wait, wasn’t it the blue one first.”

“No, no, no, the blue one is at the end because it goes in the bottom. But… if it’s at the end how does it end at the bottom?”

Avi stopped mixing. He thought really hard about it.

“Blue curacao has a higher density than vodka, that’s why it falls to the bottom of the glass.”

“Hey, that’s smart!”

“Hell yeah, I’m smart! Okay, so give me the Kool-Aid now.”

“Magnus, are you in here?”

Lucretia entered the kitchen, looked at the completely legit setup they had for drink making, and sighed, but that was probably about something else. “I have to go now.”

Magnus’ pouted. “Nooo, why?”

“The school board called, they want to talk about Fisher.”

“Oh, that’s good! You go talk to them and I’ll save some cake for when you come back.”

“It’s okay, Magnus,” she put a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know if I’m coming back.”

“Oh… it’s fine, then. I’m gonna miss you.”

“Me too.”

The two of them kissed. It was _so_ nice and sweet.

Avi downed the rest of his beer in one sitting. It was just as nice and sweet.

Once Lucretia left the kitchen, Avi went back to his very important job of pouring Kool-Aid on the drinks, but Magnus was still looking at the entrance all sad and shit.

“Hey, bro, you okay?”

Magnus sighed. “Yeah, just a little bummed out. Lucretia is always doing shit for Fisher while I’m here at home partying.”

“I’m pretty sure you aren’t always partying.”

“It’s a metaphor. Of, like, my life.”

“Oh, yeah, I get you, man.”

“I dunno, I wish I could do more, yanno?”

A sad Magnus? Not on Avi’s watch. He put the Koolaid down and approached his bro.

“Look, man, you already do a ton of shit for everyone, everyday, all the time.”

Magnus smiled. “Aw, man, you really think that?”

“Yeah, bro! You’re the captain of the football team! And you help at the Voidfish Committee! And you pet every dog you see on the street, even when they’re dirty!”

“Specially when they’re dirty! Those don’t get petted as much as the rest.”

“See? You’re basically a hero, dude. That’s why everyone loves you.”

“AVIIIIII,” Magnus cried, and he hugged Avi with all of his strength. Magnus’ hugs were always the best.

“You’re literally my best friend in the world. With Carey. But Carey’s not here. Also she’s a girl. You’re literally my best male friend in the world. You’re always tellin’ me how good I am and not lettin’ me lose sight of what’s important.”

“That’s what friends do!” Avi said. Ah, how good it felt to make Magnus feel good again. Yep, best friend work, Avi never got tired of it.

“Seriously, bro, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Avi’s heart did a flip inside his chest.

“I’ll tell you what you can’t do, these awesome fancy blue Kool-Aid drinks! Do you want to try it now?”

“Oh, hell yeah!”

While he poured the rest of the juice on the glass, Avi tried to still himself again. He really shouldn’t let himself fall into the Magnus vortex again. Sure, it felt good now, but then what? It had been almost a year, he _really_ had to get over Magnus.

On the other hand, if Lucretia wasn’t there, _someone_ had to make sure Magnus was happy, right? It was his birthday, after all, and Avi was his best friend.

“Okay, just one last touch…” Avi grabbed two of the lemon slices he had prepared earlier and hooked them at the top of the glasses. “There you go! Blue and yellow. I present to you: the Bobcats drink!”

“BOBCATS!” Magnus exclaimed. “Cheers to the team!”

The two of them clinked their glasses together. Took a sip at the same time. Spit it at the same time.

“This tastes like shit,” Avi said.

“Yep,” Magnus said.

They threw everything down the sink.

***

Johann stared at his phone for the millionth time. Somehow, it wasn’t even six o’clock yet.

So, this was his life now, sitting on a bench in the backyard of the most popular guy in school while he waited for any amount of time to pass. It was too chilly to be outside with just a sweater on, but not enough to justify going home. It was still light outside.

What was a polite justification for leaving a party less than an hour after arriving? Maybe someone had asked on Yahoo! Answers already. Or maybe he could kill time reading weird questions-

“JOHANN! What’re you up to!”

Johann almost threw his phone away at the heart attack Avi had just given him.

“You okay?” Avi asked.

“You scared me,” Johann said, gasping for air. “Jesus, you hang out too much with Magnus. Are you still drunk?”

“Sorry, sorry!” Avi apologized with an embarrassed smile. “And I think I’m sober now? I just downed like three glasses of water. Turns out alcohol is bad for you.”

“Well, I’m happy for your liver. Is that all you wanted to tell me?”

“Yes, I’m a government ad against teen alcoholism now.” Avi laughed. “Nah, but seriously, I just saw you sitting here, all by yourself, and figured you’d be thirsty.” And he got one of those boxes of orange juice out of his jersey’s pocket.

Well, Johann was feeling a bit thirsty, what with trying to hide away and avoiding everyone’s attention all day. “Thanks.”

While Johann opened the box and took a sip from it, Avi scooted closer to him and asked, “So… are you joining us?”

“Hm?”

Avi pointed in front of them, where a mere feet away Magnus and Carey were setting up a ping-pong table.

“We’re about to play a…” He leaned closer to Johann and whispered, “completely legal game of ‘beverage pong’.”

“Didn’t we just have a conversation about how alcohol is bad, actually?” Johann said.

“Beer doesn’t count.”

Johann rolled his eyes. “Well, with or without alcohol, I’d rather stay here. Thank you.”

Avi gave him a worried look. “Hey, is everything okay?”

Johann sighed. He really wished Avi hadn’t asked that. “Look,” he said, “everyone knows I don’t belong here,”

“What?” Avi definitely looked worried now. “Why would you think that?”

“Just look around!” Johann said as he pointed at the party, where everyone was wearing the colors of the school’s sports league. It was really hard to ignore, what with it being that obnoxious combination of blue and yellow. In contrast, Johann’s purple voidfish sweater only stood out. “This is practically a football team meeting.”

“There’s other people too,” Avi quickly said, “like Taako-”

“Who’s Lup’s brother,” Johann countered.

“- And Lucretia-”

“Who’s Magnus’ girlfriend. Also, she just left.” Johann sighed. “I should go, I don’t even know why he invited _me_.”

“You’re his friend too, you know?”

Johann looked down.

It was true, and Magnus had made sure to let Johann know from the day one that he considered him a friend. Even if Johann had been kind of a jerk to him.

God, why was Magnus such a darn good person.

Avi stared at him, expectantly.

“I still have exactly one friend here,” Johann pointed out.

“You have me!” Avi reminded him.

“Yay, I have two friends in this whole party.”

Avi smiled at him. “Well, that’s two whole people _who want you to be here._ ”

Johann felt his face heat up and the weird bugs in his stomach go feral again. How could Avi say something so… so Avi, just like that!

Johann tried to play it cool by not looking directly at Avi, in case he ended up blinding him with his smile or something. “Fine, I guess I’m staying a little longer.”

Avi gasped. “Great! So, about the-”

“I’m still not playing your drinking game.”

“Yo, Avi!” Came Magnus’ voice from the other side of the yard. “Need a hand here!”

“Coming!” Avi said back to him. “See you around, Johann.”

Johann waved good-bye and stared at him leave. With each step he took, Johann’s heart pumped a little faster.

He couldn’t help to smile at the box of juice Avi had gotten him, like it was a precious treasure. God, this was just embarrassing now. But it was so easy to let himself get lost in this… this feeling.

The strident laugh of Magnus brought him back to earth, and Johann looked up again to see him talking with Avi. Except Avi wasn’t laughing. He just looked at Magnus like…

Like Magnus was the only thing in the world to him.

Ah.

Of course.

Johann was a _fucking idiot._

***

When Avi walked back to the bench, all he found was an empty juice box.

***

Small droplets here and there started falling over Moonlightning. It really was the cherry on top of Johann’s amazing day. The way to the bus stop was long, and it was getting colder, but Johann was so desperate to get home he didn’t even notice.

What he really wanted to ignore right now was the knot forming on his throat. He wouldn’t cry about this. He refused.

“Oh, if it isn’t Johann Sebastian.”

Johann didn’t have to finish turning around to know who that voice belonged to. Tall, handsome, and a pain in the ass.

“It’s Johann, period.”

“I’m sorry, it’s so easy to mix these up.”

No. Johann was _not_ dealing with this right now. He resumed his walk, faster than before.

“Wait!” Prince Annoying said. “I just want to talk!”

“You’re literally the last person I want to see right now.”

“I’m sorry, okay?”

Johann turned around again, against his better judgement.

“Apology accepted,” he said.

“Thank you, I-”

And then Johann kept walking.

“Will you just listen to what I have to say?!” The guy asked.

Johann groaned. Fine, he stopped walking. Better to get over with this as soon as possible.

“I know we started off with the wrong feet.”

“That’s an understatement.”

The guy extended his hand towards Johann. “I say we start over. I’m Kravitz.”

Johann looked at the hand this guy, _Kravitz_ , offered him with distrust. As far as appearances went, he looked like a normal human, but who knew? Maybe he was a vampire in disguise, waiting for Johann to get his guard down and suck his blood or something.

Kravitz just kept his hand firm, so Johann shook it. It was weirdly cold.

“Thank you. Now, I’m sorry about the ways things ended up the last time we saw each other, but I want to assure you, Johann Sebastian-”

“Not my name.”

“-that I never intended any harm.”

“Really?” Johann said. “Because you digging up all my dirt in front of my friend and two random people didn’t seem very harmless to me.”

Kravitz raised an eyebrow. “Those ‘two random people’ addressed you by name.”

“Yeah, everyone knows my name now. Don’t feel special about it.”

“Well, I may have handled it in a less than appropriate manner, but you have to admit you weren’t very polite back then either.”

Johann scoffed. He just couldn’t believe the nerve of this asshole. “Oh, I’m sorry, should I be nicer next time some creep I don’t even remember comes asking me personal questions? Like, what’s even your deal, dude? Why are you so obsessed with me?”

Kravitz sneered in disgust. “Don’t be so arrogant. I couldn’t care less about you as a person.”

“No, I got that from you not making an effort to learn my name right, _cravat_.”

Somehow, _that_ was the last drop for this guy. “Fine. You know what? I do have a problem with you.” Kravitz took a step forward. “You,” he started, “are an _utter_ waste of talent.”

Johann took a step back, more taken aback by the sudden change in Kravitz’s tone than his words, though those weren’t nice either.

“Do you even know what you are? I’ve spent my whole life in the theatre and I can count the number of times I’ve heard that sonata live with one hand, and all of them were _professionals._ Then, a twelve years old shows up, already showing as much skill with the violin as someone trained for decades with the violin.” He took a step forward, “So why,” then another one, “didn’t you,” then he poked Johann’s chest with one finger, “ever come back?!”

Johann swatted his hand away and took another step back, or maybe two, for good measure. “Because I was _rejected_ by the evaluation committee? I think they made the point of my lack of skill very clear.”

Kravitz rolled his eyes. “You weren’t rejected because you lacked skill. They rejected you because you got up in the stage with a sonata you hadn’t practiced. What you lack is _discipline_ , and a little of common sense.”

“Well, that goes to show ‘talent’ is not enough to be a good musician.”

“That’s my point, Johann Sebastian, don’t you see? You’re a rough diamond! Imagine what you could do with the proper training! Those idiots at the Moonlight conservatory didn’t want to make the effort of polishing you, of getting the shine out of your hard exterior and… hm…”

“Maybe leave the diamond metaphors out?”

“Yeah, that’s probably better. What I mean is, you could do so much better with all that skill than playing alone at home.”

Johann blushed. “Why do you think I still play? Maybe I retired for good after the audition.”

“Because you’re angry,” Kravitz said. “I noticed back when we were at the mall. After everything I said you didn’t try to play it off or act like it was nothing. You actually got mad at me, and still are. You wouldn’t be if it didn’t matter to you, and it matters because you still play.”

“So you said all of that to see if I still played?”

“No, I was just being petty.”

Johann really hated this guy, but he had a point.

Kravitz opened his jacket and got a piece of paper out of it, which he promptly offered to Johann. “If you want to play like a real professional, you should audition for this.”

Johann unfolded the piece of paper. It read:

#  **Neverwinter Conservatory**

## Spring 2020 Auditions

Talent Scholarships for classically trained musicians

...

Johann looked up at Kravitz. “Wait, but Neverwinter Conservatory is-”

“The best in the kingdom, I know. I study there, did I forget to mention it?”

Johann stared at the piece of paper in his hands for a long moment. Never in his life he would’ve thought of auditioning there. The level was much more higher than that of the Moonlighting conservatory, not to mention it was three hours away by land.

“This is just a suggestion, obviously. I can’t make you do anything. But if you can actually play Presto from Bach’s first sonata, I assure you, you’ll get in.”

Bach’s first sonata. Johann hadn’t played that piece in five years, and the audition was in two months. He’ll have to work twice as hard, sacrifice his own free time…

The thought of Avi taking him out with after class came to his mind.

Then, he thought of the party.

Johann clutched the pamphlet in his hand. “I’ll see you there,” he told Kravitz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays! And a happy new year!


	7. Spring, part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avi worries about life, about himself, and about Johann.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning for disordered eating and animal neglect.
> 
> For a more faithful experience, [play this](https://youtu.be/PZoaEmxrsZQ) on a loop at half speed and go faster every time Johann makes a bad decision.

“As you already know,” Lucretia started, “I was called by the school board to discuss the implementation of our project in further detail.” She paused a moment, maybe to get her thoughts in order, or maybe just to brace herself for what Johann already suspected she would say. “I’m afraid it… didn’t go as I expected.”

It still felt like a blow. Magnus huffed, going down in size as the air escaped his lungs and made space for the frustration to build inside. Professor Miller wasn’t taking it as bad as him, there was an air of resignation in the way she sighed. The Voidfish was the only person in the room -if you could count it as one- who seemed unaffected by the darkening mood that had fallen over everyone.

As for Johann, well, he hadn’t been in a good mood anyway.

“Don’t feel so bad about it,” Professor Miller said. “In all my years teaching at this school, I’ve never known of a project that got accepted on the first try. A new mascot is a big change, they just want to review every detail before committing to it.”

“I know that,” Lucretia said, “and I was ready to answer their questions and argue our position back then, but it was… so exhausting. I couldn’t even speak for longer than two sentences at a time after my initial statement! They just kept talking over me, calling me ‘young lady.”

Professor Miller scoffed. “Dinosaurs.”

“Dude, men really suck.” Magnus said to Johann.

Johann rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Lucretia, I should’ve been there with you.”

Lucretia shook her head. “You were on break, it wouldn’t have been fair. Besides, I doubt it would’ve made a difference. They scoffed at the petition like it was some frivolous whim, an ‘irrelevant waste of the school’s budget.’” Lucretia growled. “I’m just so mad! After all we’ve put into this! A creature’s life is in the line here!”

Professor Miller looked at the two boys, asking for help.

“So…” Magnus tried, “what’s the new plan?”

Lucretia stared at her shoes for a long moment, before saying, “I don’t know. I’m exhausted, I need to think.”

Lucretia left soon after that, and after taking care of the Voidfish’s food for the day, so did Professor Miller. Magnus was about to turn the lights off when he noticed Johann hadn’t left yet.

“Gonna stay a little longer?”

“Yeah. Just close the door on the way out.”

“Ooh, are you playing something?”

“ _Alone_ ,” he remarked.

“Sure, sure.”

The door closed behind Magnus and Johann didn’t waste a second to get his violin out, along with the binder keeping all of his sheet music. He opened it at the end, where old, folded paper waited inside the back pocket.

Johann splayed the [two pages](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SeZHqe7VWhuBCCP2hXI0ITRnNW1irFLu/view?usp=sharing) on the table and took a moment to read them.

It had been a while, and yet, he still knew those pages by heart.

[He played just the first page, at half-speed](https://youtu.be/PZoaEmxrsZQ). He wasn’t as rusty as he feared, sight reading slowly gave way for his muscle memory, and he got to the end of the first repetition without missing a note. Just to make sure he remembered correctly, he did it twice. This way it seemed almost too easy.

But this movement was supposed to be presto.

Johann played again, the same part, at twice the speed. One hundred and thirty four beats per minute.

He messed up not even halfway to the bottom.

Alright then.

He had two months to get it right.

***

“Johann, good morning!”

Avi had an approach to life Johann just couldn’t understand. Here he was, walking into a class they both hated in high spirits, like the world was a wonderful place to live in and every day was a gift. He was probably smiling, Johann was sure, that big and bright smile he always carried with him.

Johann couldn’t stand looking at it, so he didn’t turn around to greet him.

“Did you have fun during the break?”

“Not really.”

“Right, right, you don’t really like having free time, I forget.”

“Uh huh.”

“At least you rested, right?”

“I guess so.”

“Or did you have to babysit your cousins for the holidays too.”

“Yeah.”

“I figured,” Avi said, still not getting that Johann wasn’t in the mood for talking. “Hey, so, about what happened at the party…”

Johann’s heart tugged at his chest. He turned to look at Avi, he couldn’t help it.

“I just wanted to check in on you. I didn’t find you after leaving to play beer pong with the guys.”

Ah, so it was about that.

“I don’t do good at parties.”

“I figured, I just want to make sure everything is okay? After you left, _Magnus_ was really worried.”

Johann clenched his fist.

“I told him you just had something to do, don’t worry, but maybe you should tell him-”

“I just left early,” Johann cut him, “do I need to justify myself?”

“Oh, of course not!”

“Then forget about it. It was two weeks ago, anyway.”

No one said anything else for a while. Johann hoped it would stay like that until class started.

“By the way,” Avi said, because Johann didn’t have such luck, “I heard you play earlier. Is it a new song? I don’t remember hearing it before.”

Johann did his best to avoid sighing in frustration. “Something like that. It’s Bach’s Sonata N. 1 for violin.”

Avi waited a bit before answering to that. “Hey, sorry if I’m wrong, but… isn’t that the one you played at the conservatory?”

Johann couldn’t hide the surprise when he looked at Avi. He remembered? He hadn’t even mentioned that piece after the incident at the mall.

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Is there a reason you’re playing it again? I mean, not that you shouldn’t, I just thought it was some sort of sore spot.”

Johann considered not telling him, if only to stop the conversation, but he didn’t have anyone to talk about this, and Avi was still his only friend.

“I’m auditioning for the Neverwinter conservatory,” Johann finally said.

Now it was Avi’s turn to lit up with surprise. “Dude, that’s awesome! Neverwinter is, like, the cultural center of the kingdom. And you’re going to play that song?”

“That’s the plan. I need something big to impress the evaluation committee.”

“Well, good luck! I’m sure you’ll get it this time!”

For a moment, it was just another day of talking with Avi as they waited for the class to start.

Then Avi smiled at him, and all Johann could think about was the party.

“I don’t need luck,” he said. “I’m not planning to fail this time.”

That’s when Avi finally got the conversation was over.

***

If there was someone in the world who could be completely honest with Johann, it was the Voidfish.

Learning a new piece, or in this case, relearning a forgotten one, was a step by step process. Johann practiced a different section of the movement each day, at half speed first, then three quarters, then full speed, to make sure he memorized the melody right.

The Voidfish took an interest right away, just like every time Johann played, but it didn’t glow for him more than a couple times. It seemed to know the piece was incomplete.

Part of Johann wanted to jump right to playing at least one half complete at full speed, but he had to be patient. Throwing himself at the highest level of difficulty was what costed him the entrance to the conservatory in the first place. This time, he would do it right. He would be _perfect,_ and the judge for that would be the Voidfish.

“You just wait,” Johann said to it, “you’re going to love this when I’m done.”

The Voidfish didn’t understand, of course. Johann was talking mostly to himself.

He had missed this, being carried away by the music. He played for half an hour before putting the violin down to take a rest and reflect. How had he survived so long without playing last month? The only thing he had to kill time back then was sitting by the window and looking at the football team play…

His gaze wandered off, trying to find Avi on the field. It was a reflex by now, one that had trained Johann in finding him by his distinctive way of running, or kicking, even just standing around.

And there he was now, on the bleachers, drinking some water, and looking at the field. Or, to be precise, looking at Magnus.

Really, so much for being totally over him.

Johann closed the curtain and resumed his practice. He didn’t see Avi’s gaze wander, almost like a reflex, to the third floor, searching for Johann on the window.

***

It was soon obvious that practicing twice a week like Johann usually did wouldn’t be enough.

By the end of the second week, Johann could play the first page in a single try at half speed. If he kept this pace, he could learn the second page in another two weeks, and then have only one month to practice until he got better. Not ideal.

“At least you have the breaks?” Avi had suggested when Johann (reluctantly) told him what was bothering so much.

Johann sighed. “They’re too short to be counted as real practice. Besides, I have a hard time finding the room empty these days. I think people are starting to panic about credits and the Voidfish Committee is one of the easiest ways to get them.”

Johann pointed inside the classroom they had just left, where a handful of students waited in line to ask Professor Miller for a shift at the committee.

“Then why don’t you go ask her too?”

Johann scoffed. “That’s… a good idea, actually.”

He went back inside the classroom and waited for all the other kids to leave before approaching her.

“You want more shifts?” She asked, no short amount of surprise in her voice. “If you want extra credit, I can just give it to you, Johann. You already do a lot for the Voidfish Committee.”

“It’s not about that… although I think I could use the credit, now that you mention it. But, anyway, I just want to spend more time with the Voidfish, that’s all.”

“I admire your commitment, Johann, but this time of the year more students ask to help out at the committee, and since you’re a core member I can’t give you more time during breaks, it would be unfair to the rest.”

That gave Johann an idea. “Alright, thanks anyway!”

“Thank you for your interest!”

Avi was still waiting for him outside. “Did you get it?”

“Nope.”

“Aw, I’m sure there’s another-”

“I need to go now. See you later!”

“Oh! See you…!” The rest was lost as Johann ran to the downstairs.

He went to the Principal’s and waited no more than two minutes before Lucretia came out. She spent most of her time inside these days. So stressed she was, she didn’t even notice Johann at first.

“Hey, Lucretia.”

“Oh, Johann. Sorry I didn’t see you there, I have a lot going on in my head.”

“Did the Principal say anything good?”

“What do you think?”

Johann gave her a thumbs down. It made her laugh a little, at least.

“I already booked another meeting with the board for next week, but he doesn’t think there’s any chance for us after the disaster of the holiday break. No one seems on board with the idea of a second mascot. Some of them don’t even think we should have one to begin with.”

“What do they know? They’re all boomers.”

Lucretia laughed at that. “Yeah, they really are. What are you doing here, by the way?” Her expression turned serious. “Are you in trouble? Please tell me you aren’t in trouble, we can’t afford to lose a member now.”

“Nah, I just wanted to ask if you wanted me to take over your shift at the committee? You already do a lot for us, and I don’t think it’s fair that you have to run everywhere on top of staying after class.”

Lucretia looked at him with interest. “Why, Johann, that’s very generous of you. It _almost_ sounds like that’s the only reason you are asking me now. I assume this is about your playing?”

Johann sighed. There was no use trying to lie to this woman. “I have an audition coming in a couple months and I could really use the practice time.”

Lucretia nodded in understanding. “Then you can have my shift.”

Johann let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you. I owe you one.”

Now that that was taken care of, Johann let himself relax again. This would speed things up. Hopefully, it would be enough.

On the way to his next class, Avi found him again.

“Hey you, long time no see!” Avi said sarcastically. “Where did you go?”

Johann didn’t stop walking as he answered. “I was talking with Lucretia about Voidfish stuff. Anyway, I have class now, so…”

“Wait, Johann,” Avi said.

Johann stopped on his tracks, and sighed. “What is it?”

“I was going to hit up the arcade after class, you wanna come?”

“I’m busy today, maybe some other time.”

“Oh… that’s cool! Good lu- I mean, have fun!”

“You too.”

And then they each went their separate ways.

***

Avi asked Johann again next week, and got the same answer. He seemed really motivated with this old-new song, and Avi was happy for him, even if it meant they didn’t get to spend as much time together these days. Avi himself didn’t have a lot of free time either. There was so much work and studying to do, and while his grades weren’t bad, he couldn’t slack off with University entrance around the corner.

So, like, he _got_ it.

But he couldn’t help the growing sense of worry.

It was thursday and Avi found himself staring at Johann’s window again. The curtains were drawn, which usually meant he was recording the Voidfish’ glow. Nothing out of the ordinary, but it had been weeks since the last time he saw those curtains open.

Avi sighed. He got the feeling those curtains weren’t the only thing Johann had closed.

“You okay man?”

Carey was walking by him, carrying as many balls as she could. Hadn’t Avi’s concern been somewhere else, he would’ve definitely asked about that.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m just worried about someone.”

“Is this about Johann?”

“Actually, yes.” He looked at Carey with eyes wide in surprise. “How did you know?”

“You were looking sadly at his window like two seconds ago.”

“Oh,” he laughed, “right.”

“Did you guys fight or something?”

“Not really, it’s just…” Avi shook his head. “I don’t know, things have been weird ever since class started? He has a lot on his plate, and like, I get it, so do I. But we haven’t had a real conversation in weeks, and every time I suggest we do something together after class he turns me down.”

Carey looked up at the window. Avi wondered if her dragonborn eyes could see something he didn’t. She then put all the balls on the floor and crossed her arms.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask,” she turned back to face Avi again, “did something happen between you guys at the party?”

Avi sighed again. “So you noticed?”

“You mean, the whole sitting alone and not talking to anyone thing? I just assumed he had some serious social anxiety issues.”

“I mean, he kind of does. I talked to him at the party but he seemed to think no one wanted him there.”

“Oh, is that why he stormed off while we were playing beer pong?”

“He _stormed off_?” Avi felt his heart drop. He suspected Johann hadn’t left the party on good terms, but hearing actual confirmation didn’t make him feel better.

“Yeah, I thought you guys had broken up or something.”

“Maybe it really was something I said…” He repeated Carey’s words on his mind four times before speaking again. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘broken up’?”

“You know, he looked really upset and all.”

Oh. Ooooh, okay, this was a misunderstanding. “Johann and I aren’t dating.”

“Yeah, you sure aren’t.”

No one said anything for a long moment.

“Wait, are you serious?”

“ _Yes?_ ” Avi said. “Why would you even think we’re dating?”

Carey still stared at him like he was messing with her. “Dude, you talk about him all day, spend your free time together, even ditch us to take him on dates.”

“They’re not _dates_ , we just hang out. You know, like _friends_.”

“Alone?”

“Friends can hang out alone.”

“Doing what, for example?”

“Regular friend stuff! Eating ice cream, playing on the arcade, watching a movie, just walking around until it gets late.”

“You’re literally describing what I do with Killian”

Avi opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it again. “Look, I was just trying to _cheer him up_ , okay? Johann was going through some really rough stuff last month, I just wanted to take his mind out of things for a second. He didn’t see them as dates anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Wait, _he_ didn’t? What about you?”

Avi covered his mouth.

Carey’s smile widened. “Ooooh, so _you_ like him.”

Slowly, he moved his hands until they covered his whole face, and groaned.

“Well?”

“… Maybe,” Avi said, muffled by his hands.

Avi didn’t see her reaction, though he could picture that smug smile in his mind. Carey finally sat down next to him.

“So, have you talked to him about it?”

Avi almost jumped off his seat at the suggestion. “What?!”

“The party, I’m talking about the party.”

“Oh. Oh! That, yeah, of course I tried.”

“And?”

Avi sighed. “He just said it wasn’t a big deal, and after that we never mentioned it again. I’m not sure if it’s okay to pressure him further.”

“If he doesn’t want to talk, then I don’t think there’s much else you can do.”

“I know, I just wish I could do more, you know? He’s still upset about something.”

“You already do enough, Avi. Sometimes you can just be there as a friend.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Or as a boyfriend.”

Avi covered his face and groaned again.

“Dude, you gotta have that conversation sooner or later.”

“You two!” Coach called them.

Avi and Carey stood up straight immediately.

“Go back to practice now or it’s a hundred push ups!”

“Yes, coach!”

Before they left after practice, Carey approached Avi again.

“For what it’s worth,” she said, “technically, he already said yes.”

“It doesn’t count if he doesn’t know what he’s saying yes to.”

“He’ll never do if _you_ don’t tell him.”

Avi tried to think of something to say to that, but Killian called for Carey and she just left him there, alone with his thoughts.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find a single fault in what Carey had said.

***

The transition to spring was always weird to Johann. He liked the cold weather, but spring meant more light, less layers of clothing, less humidity. He wasn’t a big fan of humidity.

This year, spring was just another reminder of the passing of time, and how little he had ahead of him before the audition for the conservatory. With Six weeks to go, he still had trouble playing at three quarter speed.

“Johann! There you are!”

“Good morning, Avi,” Johann said, a bit distracted. His mind was still lost in all those mistakes from last week. All he wanted to do was play some more, six weeks didn’t feel enough to fix them.

“You’re a bit out of it today,” Avi noted, because of course he would. “The spring allergies got you?”

“Not yet, and I’d rather you don’t summon them into my life, thank you very much. I’m just not a fan of spring in general.

“Really? I like spring. It’s nice to put an end to the seasonal depression.”

“Cool, at least yours has an end,” Johann said sarcastically.

Avi laughed nervously. “Come on, isn’t there anything you like about spring?”

“What is there to like?”

“Well, there’s prom, for example.” And he pointed at one of the posters hanging on the wall. Those cheesy pink posters in Comic Sans, because god forbid someone in this school bacem aware of the concept of graphic design.

“Everyone dreams of going with that special someone.”

Johann rolled his eyes.

Then, Avi spoke in a softer tone, less excited, more curious, and maybe something more Johann couldn’t tell. “Don’t you have anyone you want to ask out?”

“I’m not going to prom.”

Avi’s smile faded. “As in, you don’t want to, or…?”

“My audition is on the same day, I’m going to be in Neverwinter all day and that’s three hours away on bus.”

Avi’s entire mood fell. Was he really thinking Johann was interested in those things? Wasn’t it obvious by the disaster that was Magnus’ birthday that he didn’t do well in parties?

“What about you,” Johann asked him, if only so he felt better, “are you inviting anyone?”

“I…” he sighed. “No one at all.”

Well, that was obvious. The boy he liked was already dating someone else.

They went their separate ways, and Johann went back to his own world.

He carried the music sheet with him now, reread when he couldn’t practice. He went over the finger motions while humming the melody to at least finish learning it by heart. During class, during recess, walking on the halls, on the line to the cafeteria…

Were people looking at him weird? He really didn’t mind. Huh, who would’ve thought the stress would end up curing his social anxiety? In all honesty, he was too focused to even notice anyone around him.

Maybe, too focused. He crashed against someone in the hall.

Papers went flying everywhere.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he quickly kneeled down to pick up all the paper scattered in the ground. Weird, was he carrying this much with him? He didn’t recognize the music written on them, until he saw the title…

“Is this Wagner? Ew, how did it end up-?”

“Whoops, that’s mine!”

A perfectly manicured hand took it from his grasp, and Johann finally looked up to see who it was he had crashed into.

Lup was holding a stack of music paper in one hand, and she offered the other to help Johann get up.

“Are you okay, hon?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “Guess we both have our head in the clouds, huh?”

“I guess, um… what is that?”

Lup looked down to her own stack of papers. “Oh!” She blushed. “It’s kind of embarrassing… Wait, Johann, it was you who helped Barry with our anniversary, right?”

“Ah, yes.” He had forgotten about that, not because he didn’t care, he just tended to forget anything related to Wagner in an effort to save mental space for more important stuff.

“Thank you,” Lup said, with a wide, honest smile. “From the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how happy it made me.”

Johann looked to the side awkwardly. He wasn’t used to this, specially because Lup still intimidated the hell out of him. “I-it’s nothing. Barry picked the piece, I just… led him to it.” Kinda. Lup didn’t have to know he thought it was a terrible piece made by a terrible composer. “So that’s the sheet music for it?”

“Kind of,” Lup said, and she smiled fondly at them. “After some digging I found out there was a violin companion for it, so I was going to learn it and play with him.”

Johann’s eyes widened. “Wait, you play the violin too?”

“Oh, yeah, didn’t I mention it?”

Johann’s brain was going miles per hour. Another violinist in the school? Since when? How? And he was finding out just now? Where did Lup even learn? Did Taako know too?

“Took you by surprise, huh?” Lup said.

“Yeah. Why didn’t I know this?”

Lup sighed. “Well, I stopped practicing when I joined the squad, and then I felt too rusty to pick it up again. I mean, I took some classes when I was young, but that was years ago.”

“And you’re going to try again… because of Wagner.”

“Yes!” Lup smiled. “It’s amazing the influence love can have in a person, isn’t it?” She blushed again. “Ugh, sorry, I’m so embarrassing, talking about my boyfriend in the middle of the halls. It’s a good thing my brother isn’t here to make fun of me.”

Johann just nodded awkwardly.

“It was nice talking to you, Jo, but I gotta run now.”

“Ah, it’s okay.”

“Maybe when I learn this song we should have a jam session?” She winked at him. “It could be fun!”

Johann had to fight the urge to cringe. “Yes. Wagner. Super fun.”

“I love how you say his name, it’s kinda funny! Bye-bye!”

Well, that had been weird.

Johann resumed his walk, ignoring everything and everyone on his way.

***

Avi wasn’t looking to fix Johann’s problems, he still had to fix his own for that matter. Asking Johann out properly wouldn’t do any of that, so he decided to postpone that until things calmed down for the both of them.

But Avi still wished he could be doing just a little more for him.

That thursday, after training, he walked to the third floor of the old building. The door was closed and music could be heard from inside. It was, of course, the same song Johann had been playing for the past month.

Sometimes Avi missed the old songs sometimes. He still had an mp3 of Chaconne he found on the Internet, but it wasn’t the same.

Only when the song was over, he knocked the door. He waited for Johann’s “come in,” just to be polite, and entered the Voidfish room.

“Hey, seems you’re already conquering that song.”

“Not at all,” Johann corrected him. His tone was a bit harsh.

“Oh, really? I couldn’t tell. It sounds fine to me.”

“Of course it does,” Johann sighed. He pointed at the Voidfish.

Avi looked at it. It was hard to distinguish its form in the barely lit room, but it looked normal as far as Avi could tell.

“Is something wrong with Fisher?”

“It doesn’t glow.”

“Oh.”

Fisher was probably the only musical opinion Johann respected, after all.

“You’ll get there,” Avi said in his best reassuring tone. “It loves listening to you play as much as I do.”

Avi noticed just then the way that last part sounded and felt his face blush. God, was he always talking to Johann like that? No wonder Carey thought they were dating. How embarrassing.

Johann didn’t seem to notice, anyway. “Well, I won’t get anywhere without practice. You can stay if you want, I guess, but I’m not in the mood to take requests today.”

“Wait, are you gonna keep playing? I was actually here to drag you to the library. We have a math test tomorrow, remember?”

“Yeah, I’m not in the mood for math.”

Avi laughed. “When have you ever been? Come on.”

But Johann didn’t move.

“Wait, seriously?”

“I can’t study, can’t you see I’m busy?”

Avi’s smile slowly faded. “Johann, you can’t skip on study sessions.”

“I can, and I am. I already told you, this audition is very important to me.”

“Yeah, but the audition is in over a month. This test is _tomorrow_.”

“I don’t even need a high grade for this. I got two Cs and a B last semester, I can still pass with two Ds and an B in what’s left for the year.”

“… And here I thought you were bad at math.”

“Can I go back to playing now?” Johann asked in clear exasperation.

Avi tried to think of some answer for that, but what was he going to do, drag Johann physically to the library?

In the end, he just grabbed his things again and left the Voidfish room to study on his own, that growing sense of uselessness, and _worry_ , only getting bigger.

***

“I think we still have an option,” Magnus was saying, “we could maybe try…”

“But that would be…” Lucretia interceded.

“Not if we…” Professor Miller suggested.

Johann was only half listening, the constant playing of Presto on his mind made it harder to focus on anything other than his current predicament. He stared at the Voidfish drift away in his tank. Less than a month before the big day, and Johann still hadn’t managed to make it glow.

He could play at full speed now. He still made mistakes, lots of them, but at least the beginning of each section was flawless as far as he could tell. The Voidfish used to glow for the first few beats before he made a mistake, but that was weeks ago. Johann had gotten better, and yet, he hadn’t seen the Voidfish’s glow.

“We haven’t heard Johann’s opinion on the matter,” Professor Miller said, breaking Johann out of his bubble.

“I agree with Lucretia,” he said, because he had no idea what they were talking about by this point, but he trusted Lucretia would be right about it anyway.

Back to the Voidfish, Part of him worried something was wrong with it, but it was mostly wishful thinking. At the end of the day, it was he who couldn’t play.

Just in case, he tried asking Lucretia if something was wrong with it.

“It looks normal to me,” she said after the meeting, though she didn’t really look at the Voidfish when she answered. Lucretia was tired, and the Voidfish wasn’t her only concerns. As the school president, she had already arranged for a new vegan menu for the cafeteria, like she had promised at the start of the year, and it was already the season for University search. Lucretia didn’t have a lot on just her plate, but the entire table.

Even Magnus seemed stressed these days. Johann didn’t even think it was possible for him to not feel extremely enthusiastic every hour of the day. Of course, that didn’t stop him from butting in on every conversation that was within his earshot.

“If you ask me,” which Johann didn’t, by the way, “I think Fisher is going through something.”

It wasn’t the clearest answer, but Johann would take what he could. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, it’s just a feeling. It’s in a weird mood.”

Why did Johann expect anything from Magnus, anyway? “Okay, thanks.” He got his stuff from the table and made his way out of the Voidfish room.

“By the way, Professor,” he could hear Magnus say, “We’re entering semifinals with the football team and I don’t think I can stay after class for a couple weeks.”

Johann stopped at the door.

“Oh, that’s too bad. I’ll see what I can do, but I don’t think my students-”

“I’ll do it!” Johann said.

“Cool!” Magnus said. “Thanks, man, I owe you a big one.”

Professor Miller looked at Johann with obvious worry, so before she said anything, Johann left the room.

Now he could stay after school, every day, until the audition came. Johann felt a rush of excitement wash over him. Five days, for four weeks. That was twenty more days to practice.

Twenty days.

That… was such a short amount of time.

He hurried to his next class.

The Voidfish didn’t glow that day, or the next, nor the rest of the week.

***

So, with three weeks left, Johann decided to push himself further.

That monday, Johann got up earlier than ever. He got dressed in a minute, had breakfast in two, and was ready to leave by six thirty a.m.

“Jo,” called his mom from another room, “are you leaving already?”

Johann sighed at the door. “Yes, mom.”

“Why don’t you wait until I get the car and I take you myself?”

“It’s fine, I want to walk.”

“In this cold? Are you sure?”

But Johann had already left.

The school was practically empty this time of day. Maybe it was too early, maybe it really was the cold. Both things were fine by Johann. To think he could always have this place for himself if he made the extra effort of waking up early. No one would hear him play, or even know a violin existed inside the school, because no one was there to hear.

What a small thing to worry about, being heard.

He spent all day playing, from morning to afternoon, and for the first time in so long he really felt at ease with his playing. Why couldn’t every day be like this?

But on tuesday, the exhaustion let itself be felt. And then the next, and the one after that.

Getting up early more than once day a week was hard, Johann wasn’t a morning person at all. Only when he had his violin in hand, he felt his energy finally come to him. The rest of the time, he had to deal with the exhaustion.

By the end of the week, he could barely keep his eyes open in class. Staying awake during Biology was hard enough when he was well rested. He tried his best not to fall asleep in front of Professor Miller, she didn’t need a reason to take some of his shifts away.

He didn’t count on Avi being a snitch. After class, but before Professor Miller had left the room, he said like it was nothing, “I think you’re starting to push yourself too much.”

Johann glared at him. Did Professor Miller hear him? No, she was talking to another student, thank god, but Johann still wanted to strangle Avi.

“I’m perfectly fine, thanks for your concern.”

“Yeah, sure. Those eyebags go well with the emo look, by the way.”

Eyebags? Since when? Johann touched his face. Shit, how bad did he look? No wonder Professor Miller had been so worried about him.

“Here, you need this more than me” Avi said.

When Johann turned to him again, he was holding a blue thermos in front of Johann.

Johann took it with both hands. It was warm, and for a moment he was transported to another day, with his hands around a tea cup and a jacket over his shoulders.

“Just give it back before you leave, okay?”

Johann stood there with the thermos while Avi left for his next class.

Why did he feel so alone, suddenly?

He opened the thermos and found it half full. The smell wasn’t strong. When he took a sip, he grimaced. Too sweet for his taste.

***

Next monday, Johann got up before his alarm went off in the morning. He had spent all the weekend sleeping - which didn’t necessarily mean he felt well rested, he just didn’t have it in himself to sleep another hour.

Besides, the audition was now less than three weeks away, and anticipation was eating Johann away. His fingers ached. It hadn’t been that long since the last time he played, only two days, but after playing so much lately it felt like an eternity. Every second he didn’t spend practicing was wasted. All he wanted was to be in school already and play, play, play.

And this week, he would finally make the Voidfish glow. It was about time.

But when he got to school, he found the Voidfish room empty. _Completely_.

Johann had a brief moment of panic. Where was the tank? Shit, did he leave the room unlocked? _Did someone steal the Voidfish?_ No, that wasn’t possible. It was a big ass jellyfish.

One Magnus had _stolen_ from someone else.

“… think that’s everything, but I’m here just in case we-”

“Magnus!” Johann exclaimed when he heard the big guy come through the hall.

“Oh, Johann!” He exclaimed back, even louder. He was holding a phone in one hand and a bunch of flyers in the other. “Yeah, here in the Voidfish room. I’ll call you back.” He hung up, and then walked towards Johann again. “Sup, man! You’re early today.”

“The Voidfish tank is gone!”

“Yeah, I already took it to the hall,” Magnus said like it was nothing.

Johann stood there, like an idiot, for a moment. “You… what? Why did you do that?”

“What do you mean? Today is Selfie Day!”

Okay, _now_ Johann must’ve looked like an idiot.

“You know, phase 3?”

“… Oh! _That_!” Johann said, like totally knew what Magnus was talking about. “Yeah, I, uh, forgot it was today. Time flies, yeah?”

“Totally, man! After weeks of planning it feels kinda surreal, doesn’t it? But we’re finally here! Now we just have to show those assholes at the school board what the community wants!”

 _Weeks?_ How many weeks? When did all of this happen?

No, Johann didn’t have the time or the energy to think about it. The Voidfish was at the hall now, that meant the room would be empty for the rest of the day.

“Alright, I think that’s everything,” Magnus said, adding another stack of papers to the pile he was carrying. “See you at lunch for your shift!”

“What?”

But Magnus was already gone.

Oh, yeah, cool. More responsibilities, exactly what Johann needed.

***

Johann didn’t know how many people to expect during his shift, but it was way less than the current amount gathered around, taking photo after photo, posting them on Facebook and Instagram under the hashtag ‘FisherWillBeOurMascot’. When had they come up with that? Apparently everyone but Johann knew about it.

At least he didn’t have to do anything to bring people in, just make sure the Voidfish was well and no one crossed the makeshift velvet line. There was nothing to do about the noise, but no one tried to approach it suddenly or touch the tank. All Johann did was sit there and look at people take selfies for. An. Entire. Hour.

When the first half of lunch break had gone by, Lucretia approached him. She was looking… way better than the last time he saw her, less stressed, and even _smiling_. “How is it going here? Do you need anything?”

“I don’t, and, uh, it’s cool?” He pointed at the mob of people around them.

“Great! Have you given any flyers?”

Johann panicked for a second. “Wait, what flyers?”

“The ones at the…” Lucretia looked at the table. “Oh, they ran out already!”

Johann sighed in relief. “Oh, yeah, those. Yep, all gone.”

“I’ll have to print more, I didn’t think they would go so fast!”

“And… that’s a bad thing?”

“Not at all!” Lucretia said. “God, I’m just so relieved. This just as we planned. Have you checked the hashtag?”

“Uh… yeah, why?”

“Because there’s already over a thousand posts on Instagram only!”

“Doesn’t this school have like eight hundred students?”

“Yes, obviously some people are updating multiple pics, but this is also great. These numbers will impact the voting greatly.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s super great.”

“I have to go now,” Lucretia said. “Professor Miller and Magnus will come after lunch to take the tank back to the classroom.”

And she just left. It was a good thing Lucretia was distracted and happy, because Johann had never lied so much to her.

At least things were finally looking great for the Voidfish Committee. With this level of engagement, it would be hard for the school board to dismiss the project. At least, Johann hoped it would. He felt like he should’ve been happier about the whole thing, but…

He couldn’t stop thinking about playing. The audition was in less than three weeks and every second counted. But he could only sit there for an hour. An hour he could’ve spent practicing. He got to play a little in the morning, but it already felt like an eternity since then, and he was getting _desperate_. He didn’t even get to bring his music sheet with him.

Maybe he could find it online? Surely no one would get mad at him for checking his phone…

Oh, he had a text notification from Avi.

Avi  
  
Have fun on your voidfish thing  
  


Right, Johann had told Avi he was too busy with Voidfish duty to have lunch with him.

He kinda missed that.

…

Well, Johann would’ve spent that time practicing anyway.

There was nothing they could do about it.

***

Finally, after class, Johann got to play for the Voidfish again.

Nothing. It still refused to glow.

Maybe it was tired. It had been a long day, surely it would need to rest after all the movement and attention.

“At least you are getting somewhere with all of this,” Johann said out loud. “Everyone is talking about you now. Lucretia thinks this will help the project.”

The Voidfish drifted quietly.

“But you probably already knew that. Apparently, everyone did but me.”

Johann sighed and sat down.

It was fine, he told himself. He had more important things to worry about.

The Voidfish didn’t glow that day. All it did was drift away in its tank, like it was suspended in space instead of swimming.

***

Johann’s newfound energy didn’t last the week.

It was the last class of wednesday, Physics, and Johann struggled to even keep his eyes open.

The teacher was talking about how Newton’s Universal Law of Gravitation related to the path of a comet when it encountered another celestial body. Space stuff had too many equations for Johann’s liking. He heard the teacher talk about force, mass, distance, and something called the gravitational constant, and the will to stay awake slowly left his body.

Why was any of that important to him, anyway? He was a musician. The only reason he took that class was because of the school’s curriculum. Astronomy seemed cooler in Nasa articles, [like that study they did on jellyfish](https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/10/i-dont-think-youre-ready-for-this-jelly/280674/).

Jellyfish who were born outer space grew used to the almost complete lack of gravity. When they came back to earth, the sudden increase was foreign to them, it depressed them.

A depressed jellyfish, glowing blue, swam outside the window.

Johann couldn’t imagine how that felt. Being able to fly freely, only to lose it.

Then again, why should he pity the jellyfish? So many people living down on earth would never get to know. The jellyfish at least had the memory. There was no point in hating the gravity for taking it away.

So Fisher, swimming outside the window, asked Johann, “What do you hate?”

And he woke up. The class was over.

Johann looked outside the window, but there was nothing there.

There wasn’t anyone inside the classroom, either, so he rushed to put all of his belongings in his backpack and quickly stood up.

Then sat down.

Ok, wow, he was really dizzy. This is what he got for sleeping in class.

He tried one more time, slowly, and when he felt like a normal person again he ran to the Voidfish room.

The Voidfish was inside its tank, of course. Johann didn’t know why he expected anything else. It seemed to feel better from the hashtag operation on monday.

Today was the day Johann made it glow.

He took his violin and played. By now he didn’t need to look at the sheet. The sonata was ingrained in his muscle memory. He played it once, fast, no thinking, only playing, until it was over.

It was almost perfect.

Almost, because the Voidfish didn’t glow.

Johann sighed, and he went again.

And again, and again, and again.

To his ears, it was perfect. He played exactly as it was written, no hiccups, no skipped notes, but Johann couldn’t knew he couldn’t himself on it. He had been playing the same piece for over a month, of course he would get used to his own mistakes.

Something _had_ to be wrong if the Voidfish didn’t glow.

Johann was starting to get pissed off.

“Could you at least give me a hint of what I’m doing wrong?”

The Voidfish answer.

“Come on, I know there’s something you don’t like. What is it, the tempo? Too slow for you?”

Johann grabbed the violin again and played even faster. Just the first eight compasses, but he didn’t miss any note.

The Voidfish remained dull.

“Seriously, what else do you want from me? I already learned this whole section by heart. I could write it by hand, how about that? Maybe feed it to you.”

The Voidfish just drifted in its tank.

“Why won’t you just glow?!” Johann screamed.

“Johann, are you okay?”

Johann was taken by surprise. Avi was standing at the door. Johann didn’t notice it was open.

Great, just exactly what he needed. Johann sat down and covered a groan with his hands. “How long have you been there?”

“Just a moment,” Avi said. “But, uh, I heard you yelling at the Voidfish from the stairs.”

“Cool, I’m just making a fool of myself.” He uncovered his face and sighed. “If you’re here to make me study for friday’s test, I’m still busy.”

“Johann, it’s almost eight.”

Johann looked at Avi with his eyes wide open. No, that couldn’t be right. He opened the curtain, and…

It was dark outside.

“Oh…”

“I think it’s time you go home.”

Johann turned to Avi again. “It’s not that late. You’re here too.”

“I was at the library studying for two tests,” Avi said. “And I’m leaving now, I only came here because I heard you play and got worried.”

Johann sighed again. “I’m fine, I’ve stayed even later.”

“I’m not worried about the hour, Johann. You’ve been playing from sunrise to sundown almost two weeks now.”

Johann wanted to argue, but technically, none of what Avi had said was a lie.

Now it was Avi’s turn sigh. “Resting is an important part of working, you know?”

Johann really wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation right now. He stood up, ready to close the door on Avi’s face if he wouldn’t leave him alone. “Why don’t you just-”

The world was spinning.

“Johann!”

It all happened too fast. His vision went blurry, like a grainy JPG compressed to hell, and every sound felt muffled. The next thing he knew, he was sitting on the floor, and Avi was holding him.

“What…”

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

“Yes? Shit, what happened?”

“I don’t know, you just stood up and fell! What the fuck was that?!”

“It’s nothing,” he said.

“That was the opposite of nothing”

“I just got dizzy, is not a big deal!”

He tried to sit up again, _really_ slow, and with Avi’s help -which he didn’t need-, he managed to sit on the chair again.

Avi was all over him, it was overwhelming. He tried to grab Johann’s face and check his eyes.

“Don’t do that!” Johann said, getting Avi’s hands off his face and ignoring the heat that was starting to pool on it.

“I’m trying to check if you have a concussion,” Avi told him. “Just, be still for a second.”

“Dude, I’m fine! I didn’t hit my head! I just had a lapsus of dizziness or whatever, you never get those?”

“ _No_?” Avi said. “Why are you dizzy? Are you sick? If you’ve been coming to school with a cold, Johann, _I swear to god_.”

“I’m not sick!” Johann said with increasing exasperation. “I’m just a little tired, is all.”

“You don’t get dizzy for being ‘a little’ tired,” Avi said, air quotes included. “Maybe you’re hungry, you’ve been in school all day. When was the last time you ate?”

Johann froze. Oh no.

“Johann?” Avi said, now _incredibly_ worried. He repeated, slower this time, “ _When was the last time you ate?_ ”

“… Yesterday.”

“What?!”

“I left for school without breakfast, and, I don’t know, I guess I forgot to get lunch? The spot cleared and I came here before someone else took it.”

Avi stared at Johann with what could only be described as horror, before it turned into something Johann had never seen before: disappointment.

“That’s it, you’re going home _now_.”

“Wh- You can’t make me-”

Avi cut him by shoving something against him. It was one of those protein bars he ate all the time.

“Eat that, and when you get home you’ll have proper dinner.” After saying that, Avi finally got up and grabbed Johann’s backpack.

Johann looked between the protein bar and Avi. “You can’t make me go home, who do you think you are?”

“I am your friend,” Avi said, “and I don’t want you to die. Now put your violin away.”

Johann got up and grabbed the violin and bow, and set in position to play again.

Avi stared at him with complete disbelief.

“You have no idea how important this is to me,” Johann said.

Avi practically growled in exasperation. “You can’t be serious right now.”

“If you really knew me, then you’d let me practice.”

“Johann, you already know the song!”

“What do you know? You don’t know about music. You call every piece I play a song. Hey, did you know? A song is a _vocal_ piece!”

“What does that have to do with anything?!”

“It has everything to do! I need this to be perfect if I want to get into the conservatory, why is that so hard to understand?”

“If you keep pushing your boundaries, you’ll only hurt yourself! This thing you’re doing will _not_ work.”

Oh, so _that’s_ how it was.

“You don’t believe in me,” Johann said accusingly.

“That’s not what I said,” Avi rushed to respond.

“No, but it’s what you meant, right? I’m not getting anywhere, is that what you think?”

“Johann, please calm down,” Avi pleaded.

“Maybe it’s true, you know? Because what is even the point of everything if I’m not perfect yet? It’s all been an utter a waste of time!”

“You don’t need to be perfect!”

“Of course _you_ think that!” Johann snapped at him. “You’re _so_ happy living in the shadow of a guy who doesn’t even like you!”

Johann felt bad the moment the words left his mouth.

Avi was staring at Johann like he had just punched him.

“I didn’t mean to-”

Avi dropped Johann’s backpack. “You’re right,” he said, voice cracking. “What the fuck do _I_ know?”

“No, Avi, wait-!”

 _Blam!_ The door closed behind Avi.

Johann stood there, looking at it for a long moment.

And then, he fell onto the chair.

“Fuck.” He said. “Fuck!” He screamed.

And he cried. Fuck everything else. He just sat there and cried like the biggest fucking idiot in the world.

***

When he opened his eyes again, the sky had gone completely dark. And his head hurt, but no more than his stomach.

The protein bar Avi had given him was still there, and in better circumstances Johann would’ve thrown it away, as a matter of pride.

But, god, he was _starving_.

Ten minutes later, half past eight, he finally went home.

***

And the next day came like any other.

Johann was awake an hour before his alarm went off. He got up, got dressed in ten minutes, had breakfast in twenty, and waited for his alarm to ring before heading out to school.

He spent the morning playing, over and over again.

When math class came later that day, Johann noticed Avi’s usual seat next to his was empty. It only took a second to see he was sitting at the front of the classroom.

Alright, then.

Johann sat on the back, and the class started as normal. Then, the day was over, and he played again.

And he did that the next morning, and the afternoon that came after it.

All he could do was play now.

***

“The results are astounding!” Lucretia said beyond herself with excitement. “In a week we’ve gotten over five thousand posts in the hashtag, posted by over six hundred different accounts!”

“Everyone loves Fisher!” Magnus said.

“Shove that in the face of those good for nothing-!” Professor Miller coughed. “I mean, I’m so proud of you, team!”

Johann was too tired to pretend he was as happy as everyone, so he just opted to stay quiet during the meeting. Not like the rest noticed, as they were too busy celebrating their victory.Lucretia talked about the next step, which would be meeting with the board later that week, and then everyone spent the rest of the meeting looking at pictures on instagram and choosing the best ones for campaign posters.

Johann didn’t even know why he attended those meetings anymore. He could be playing. Why wasn’t he playing? He hoped the meeting would end before the break was over and maybe he would get enough time to go over the sonata. Just one more time before his next shift.

But after the meeting, when everyone finally left, Magnus approached him. “Johann, can we talk for a second?”

Great, just what he needed: more time to talk with people.

Johann already knew what it was about. It was a matter of time before someone noticed. He just wished Magnus hadn’t chosen that very moment to bother him about it.

“I know you and Avi had a fight,” Magnus said.

Johann didn’t give Magnus any sign of acknowledgement, but Magnus went on anyway.

“He didn’t tell me why, but I know it must’ve been about something important if he’s like that.”

“If he didn’t tell you,” Johann said, “then I don’t see why I should either.”

“No, I don’t want you to tell me anything.”

Magnus walked a little bit closer, and he did so in a way that just so happened to emphasize his size. Johann wasn’t impressed.

“You’re my friend, Johann, but Avi is my best friend.”

Johann scoffed. “Good for him, I guess.”

“What I’m trying to say is, if anyone hurts my best friend-”

“Like you did last year when you broke his heart?”

He didn’t see the fist coming until it hit the wall next to his face.

Johann was frozen in place. He looked at Magnus pull his fist away in slow motion.

“You’re lucky he still cares about you,” was all Magnus said.

Only when he had left the room Johann could breathe again.

A cold sweat ran through his spine. There was a dent in the wall where Magnus had punched it.

And then, the alarm for the next class rang.

***

After that, Magnus didn’t talking to him. Good riddance. He mostly annoyed Johann, anyway.

He tried not to think about it. He tried not to think about anything that wasn’t playing. When he got up the next day, Johann was ready to spend the day buried in the sonata, and if he couldn’t play it, he’d just listen to in on repeat until his next shift.

But when he got to the Voidfish room in the morning, he was surprised to see the door wasn’t locked.

Waiting inside was Lucretia.

“I was expecting you. Do you have a minute?”

Why was _everyone_ trying to talk to him.

“It’s about your music.”

Johann sighed. _This conversation again._

“Okay, Lucretia, thanks for worrying about me, but I’m _fine_. I have an audition in less than two weeks. Can I please practice now?”

“That’s not what I wanted to talk about,” Lucretia said, ”though I am concerned about you now.”

Great, he should’ve kept his mouth shut.

“Have you noticed the effect your music is having on the Voidfish?”

“None at all?”

“You’re upsetting it, Johann.”

Johann looked at her in confusion. He looked at the Voidfish, then at Lucretia. “What are you talking about? It looks normal.”

“It might, to you, because it doesn’t show signs of stress or fear. But it’s not swimming as much as it’s used to. Nowadays it only drifts away.” Lucretia put a hand on the tank, which the Voidfish barely tried to meet. “It used to do that when we first got it.”

Johann felt a pang of guilt. How didn’t he notice before? To think he spent every day with the Voidfish now…

“… Wait, and you think this is my fault?”

“I’m afraid that’s the conclusion I reached. I’ve tried to remove every other possible influence, but you’re the only one who’s been with it every day.”

Johann wanted to laugh. His music? It wasn’t good enough so it made the Voidfish fucking sad?

“What about the viral campaign we just put it through? Let me remind you we had the tank outside for an entire day.”

“The event was last week. The Voidfish has been in this state for over a month now.”

“So it’s my fault then?”

“I must to ask you to stop playing in the Voidfish room.”

“I’m the only person who can stay after school to take care of it.”

“I’ll take my shifts back, and cover for Magnus. You can still have yours if you promise you won’t play.”

“That sounds like you’re threatening to kick me.”

“Only if you keep playing.”

 _Now_ Johann laughed. “You’re shitting me, right? You can’t kick me from the Voidfish committee. I am a _core_ member, you need me to keep the club status!”

“No, Johann, I need you to take care of the Voidfish. _That’s_ what we do in the committee. And right now, you’re putting the Voidfish in danger with your actions.”

Johann looked at the Voidfish again. It drifted away from him.

For the first time ever, Johann knew exactly what it felt.

It was scared.

“Fine,” Johann said. “I’ll find another place to play then.” He turned around and left.

Whatever. He had plenty other places to practice, like by the shadow of the old building, outside the library, even any random hall. Everyone knew he was the violinist, anyway. Why not play in front of everyone now?

Oh, but they all hated him now, because Magnus surely told everyone in the football team he was an asshole, if Avi hadn’t done that already.

Johann could feel their stares on him. He didn’t care. This way was better, anyway. On the Voidfish room he had to wait all day to play after the morning unless a spot during the breaks had cleared. So he played all morning, and then on the first break, and then on the second, and during lunch. The only thing stopping him from playing all day was class.

And now, after class, he could focus on playing without thinking about the Voidfish’s glow, or locking the room when he left, or closing the windows during football games, or closing the curtain, or looking at Avi-

His phone rang.

Johann stopped playing. Who even called anymore?

It was from Magnus. Of course he would find ways to annoy him anywhere. Johann just hung up. He didn’t have to deal with his shit anymore.

But before he could put his phone away, it rang again.

Seriously?

He hung up again, and quickly tossed it into the grass. When it rang again, he just played, hoping the violin would drown out the sound.

It didn’t.

“For fuck’s sake,” Johann muttered.

He grabbed the phone and answered it. “What do you want? I have better shit to do than-”

“ _Avi had an accident!_ ”

Johann’s heart stopped.

“What?”

“ _He hit his head real bad. They took him to the infirmary, the doctor says it’s-_ ”

Johann didn’t hear the rest. He was already running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway do you know how johann is always the one dying in fics? seems so kinda unfair if you ask me


	8. Spring, part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johann and Avi talk about themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [Cas](https://johann-adventurezone.tumblr.com/), who helped me flesh out the last details.

Saint Robert High School was quiet.

It was early in the night, about an hour after the game’s end, so everyone had already left for home. Everyone, except Avi, who now rested in the infirmary, and Johann, who waited beside him.

They couldn’t get him to leave, and he would stay there all night if it was necessary. Johann called his mom and told her he would be staying with a friend, which wasn’t technically a lie. She seemed very happy for him. Johann didn’t have the heart to tell her this wasn’t a happy situation.

He looked at Avi and a knot formed on his throat. If anyone saw him, they would think he was sleeping, with how peaceful he looked. His chest raised and lowered at a slow pace, and his face was calm. That was good, right? Dr. Highchurch said it didn’t look like he had any serious head injuries.

Johann thought of the doctor’s words and tried not to worry so much, but a concussion was still a big deal, specially since this wasn’t the first time it happened, and no one on the team had any idea. Avi never told them.

He clutched the violin’s neck tighter. Johann had ran all the way to the infirmary with the violin and bow in each hand, such was the spur of the moment, and now they lied awkwardly on his lap. The rest of his stuff was still back at the old building, and he was starting to regret not thinking twice before leaving it there.

But he couldn’t leave now, what if Avi woke up and there was no one there beside him?

_What if he never woke up?_

No, bad train of thought! He scolded himself and tried to think of something else, or just not think, but it was hard with all the silence.

“… Hey, doc?”

“Hm?”

“Can I break the second rule for a moment?”

Dr. Highchurch didn’t get what Johann was saying until he glanced at the wall. He grunted something like, “I’ll go make myself some coffee,” and left the infirmary.

Saint Bob was quiet.

[And then, it wasn’t.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqA3qQMKueA)

It felt like ages since Johann had played anything other than the sonata, but he knew, had Avi been awake, he’d only ask for Chaconne. Maybe hearing it would help, maybe it wouldn’t, it just felt right.

“I’m…”

Johann stopped playing. Avi was looking at him, eyes half open in a mildly disoriented stare.

He would’ve yelled louder if a knot hadn’t formed on his throat. Johann was so relieved he could cry. “Avi! Oh my god, are you-”

“Not dead,” Avi said.

“… What?”

Avi blinked a couple times, trying to articulate his thoughts carefully. “You said… Bach wrote Chaconne when his wife died.”

A slight rush of heat washed over Johann’s face. “I was playing it because it’s your favorite, you idiot,” he stammered. “And don’t joke about dying, you have no idea how worried I’ve been.”

“Right, sorry. I do love that song.” Avi said, smiling weakly. “I missed it.”

After the first wave of relief died down, Johann’s worry made way for a new set of emotions, something he had been avoiding for days now: a terrible, immeasurable amount of guilt.

“Hey, uh, about the other day…”

Avi stared at him expectantly. His smile faded a little.

Johann took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I said some… awful, horrible things back in the Voidfish room. I wasn’t being myself, and you were only trying to help me, but I let the worst of me get to you and…” He choked on a sob.

“Johann…”

“And then Magnus called to tell me you had an accident, and what if something serious had happened and the last thing I told you was-?”

“Johann,” Avi stopped him. He raised a hand and slowly put it on top of Johann’s knee. “I’m fine now, see?”

Johann put his hand on top of Avi’s and nodded.

“Can you tell me something?” Avi asked.

“Yeah?”

“Were you worried about me today?”

Johann squeezed Avi’s hand tight. “Of course. I was worried sick.”

Avi nodded. “That’s how I’ve felt about you all semester.”

Oh.

“Okay, I’m back, the time for music is over. Put that pretty violin of yours back or so help me Pan…” Dr. Highchurch took a look inside the infirmary, with Avi awake, and Johann on the verge of crying.

“Hm. I guess I should call your parents.”

And he left again. An awkward silence fell inside the infirmary.

Avi started laughing.

“What?” Johann said.

“Sorry, it’s just,” Avi started, “man, just how dramatic we have to be to be having this conversation in a fucking infirmary. How did you even get the doc to let you play in here? I thought that was against the rules.”

“I dunno, guess he just took pity on me. Do I look too sad?”

“Only a little,” Avi said.

With some effort, he tried to look at something behind Johann. It was the big flowery poster on the wall, the one that said ‘Zone of Truth’.

“We shouldn’t break any more rules, then, don’t you think?”

Johann knew what he meant. He nodded, and braced himself for what was coming.

Avi sighed deeply. “I’m not gonna lie and say it didn’t hurt when you kept pushing me away.”

Johann felt the knot in his throat grow bigger.

“But,” Avi continued. He had trouble forming words too, although for other reasons than Johann. “I know you didn’t mean most of what you said.”

“Of course not…!” Johann rushed to say.

No, that wasn’t the whole truth either.

“But… I admit I haven’t been honest with you.”

“About what?”

Deep breath. Okay, here it goes. “I’m jealous. Of you and Magnus.”

It was like taking a bandaid, except after the pain there was the horrible shame of the other person knowing how you felt.

Avi stared at Johann with wide eyes. “ Wait, seriously?”

“I know how important he is to you, and I’ve always kinda resented him, because of that, and what he did to you. But then I got to meet him and I just couldn’t hate him anymore, because… because he really is perfect, and cool, and actually, honest to god nice.”

He looked at Avi again. “So I… got mad at you instead. Because you’re really important to me, and I know I’m never gonna be as important to you-”

“Johann, of course that’s not true.”

Johann cleared his throat and looked to the other side, trying to hide the tears that started falling. If he weren’t dealing with so much already he would’ve felt embarrassed.

“Magnus is,” Avi started, “well, he is my best friend, and I’ve liked him since middle school, you know? A crush like that doesn’t go away overnight. When you meet someone as great as Magnus, you either love him or hate him. Magnus is so much better at everything than me that it would have been easy to just envy him for everything he has that I don’t… but I don’t like hating people, so I guess I chose to love him.”

It hurt, hearing Avi say that, even now. Johann stared down at his hands, giving up on trying to control the tears that just refused to stop.

“Somewhere along the way,” Avi went on, “love became idolization, and I told myself I was okay with being overshadowed by him. I’m just so used to everyone seeing me as Magnus’ friend I think I just stopped trying to get away from that.” Avi laughed in embarrassment. “But I envy him too, you know? He really is so good at everything. And everyone loves him: the coach, the team, people from the school, university scouts. Just about everyone… except you.”

Johann finally dared to look at Avi.

“You’re the only person who’s ever chosen _me_ , and I’m really sorry if I ever made you feel like you don’t matter, because that’s not true, Johann. You mean so, so much to me.”

The knot in Johann’s throat finally loosened, but now he couldn’t stop the tears from falling. He loved Avi so much, why did he let something dumb like an unrequited crush to get in the way of that?

“You mean a lot to me, too,” Johann said. “I’m sorry for being an idiot.”

He squeezed Johann’s hand, “Yes, you really are an idiot.”

Johann laughed at that.

“Hey, Johann?” Avi said, softly. “I-”

The door slammed open. “AVI!”

Magnus rushed into the room and threw himself over Avi.

“I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU, BRO,” Magnus cried as he hugged Avi with all the strength he had. Which was a lot.

“Let him go, dude!” Carey said as she entered the room behind him.

Johann dried the tears with his sleeve and coughed. “Uh, hey, I thought you guys had left?” He asked her.

“Nah, they just wouldn’t let us wait in the school. We were sitting outside.”

“It’s called a legal loophole!” Magnus said as he still crushed Avi with his hug.

“Mags, he just had a FUCKING CONCUSSION!”

“Shit!” Magnus let Avi go. “Sorry, man.”

“It’s fine,” Avi gasped.

She sighed. “Sorry, man, we tried to tell him not to interrupt you two, but he stopped listening when Dr. Highchurch said Avi was awake.”

“It’s fine, uh, I’m sorry, interrupt what?”

“Hey! You can’t be here!” Dr. Highchurch said, coming through the door, clearly out of air, probably because he had to run after Magnus and Carey.

“We should probably go,” Carey said. “See you outside, Avi!”

“BE STRONG!” Magnus yelled.

Johann didn’t want to leave yet, but Dr. Highchurch was giving him a look. Besides, Avi looked really tired after all that. Well, it was about time he went to pick up his stuff from the old building.

Avi’s parents arrived at school fifteen minutes later. They were understandably worried. It took some convincing, but they finally let him say goodbye before taking him home.

Johann watched from a safe distance while the football team all grouped around Avi to wish him a safe recovery. They were surprisingly gentle with him, talking in a normal volume of voice, and no one tried to hug him again.

Avi approached Johann after they were done. Even now, he was considerate enough to do it.

“What was it you wanted to tell me back then?” Johann asked.

Avi looked to the side. “Nothing important, don’t worry.”

It was dark outside, and the only light made it look like he was blushing.

“How long do you have to rest?”

Avi sighed. “A whole week, doctor’s orders. Man, I’m gonna miss two games and a test, can you believe it?”

“That’s two loses and a win to me,” Johann joked.

Avi didn’t laugh at that. “You know that could’ve been you, right?”

It took a moment for Johann to catch on what Avi was trying to say. He sighed, “I know.”

“Please promise me you’ll take care,” Avi said. “I know the audition is next week and you need to practice, but you can’t keep pushing yourself. You don’t want to fall in bed for a week like me, right?”

“I…” Johann would’ve wanted to argue, to assure him he would be fine, but deep down he knew Avi was right. Honestly, after sitting down for two hours, he was starting to feel the symptoms of exhaustion on his body.

“Just try to be more careful,” Avi said, “for me?”

How unfair, he knew Johann couldn’t say no to that. “I’ll try.”

Avi smiled. “Thank you.”

“Abraham, are you done saying bye to your friends?”

“Coming!” Avi said back. “Thanks again for staying with me, I’ll text you wh-”

Johann threw himself at Avi and hugged him, tight, with all the strength his weak violinist arms let him.

Slowly at first, maybe even surprised, Avi returned the hug, and they just stood there for a moment.

After Avi and his family left, Magnus approached Johann.

“Wanna walk home with the rest of us?”

“Yeah.”

***

Johann came home feeling like at least three days had passed in one, but when he woke up next morning, it was only wednesday.

The first alarm went off at six am. It announced it like it was the most important hour in the day.

Johann decided that waking up early was stupid, turned off all the alarms up to the last one, and went to sleep for the rest of the morning.

School was the same. It didn’t feel right or fair, but it was what it was. The world wouldn’t stop just because Avi was stuck in bed now, and much less wait for Johann to get his shit together. He still had to practice.

But later that day, once the bell for lunch break rang across the school, Magnus appeared on the door of Johann’s class.

“I’m here to make sure you have lunch!” He had said with a big, friendly smile. “Or else…”

Johann waited for him to finish that sentence.

“Or else what?”

“You don’t want to find out.”

Johann gulped. “Fair enough.”

Avi  
  
Hey there! Don’t forget to have lunch!  
already on it  
did you send magnus to hunt me  
Haha maybe  
hows your day been?  
you feeling better?  
Yeah!  
Tho I still get dizzy sometimes  
And I slept like  
12 hours last night  
god I wish that were me  
You really don’t  
I’m SO bored  
I was going to binge something but if it look at the tv for too long my head starts killing me  
damn that sucks  
Eh its okay  
Sorry if im slow to text  
Looking at my phone is also kinda hard haha  
Hey, are you gonna stay after class today?  
i have to  
Alright  
Just dont stay too late k?  
i wont  
do you wanna hear me play  
Id love to! :)  


***

On monday, he apologized to Lucretia.

“I wasn’t thinking about the consequences my actions could have on the Voidfish. I’m sorry I hurt Fished, and if there’s something I can do for the Voidfish committee, I’ll gladly help wherever you need me.”

Lucretia listened to his apology without interrupting. Her expression was, like always, too hard to read for Johann.

“You want your shifts back,” she said.

“Yes.”

“But you won’t be able to play in the Voidfish room anymore.”

Johann sighed. “I know.”

“Are you still okay with that?”

“Yes,” Johann answered.

Lucretia nodded. “Then welcome back,” she said, fetching the room’s key from her bag.

Johann reached for it, but Lucretia held it for a moment before giving it to him.

“If anything happens to Fisher…”

“You’ll kill me, I know.”

Johann knew it was more than he deserved.

He apologized to the Voidfish too. When he had his shift again on Tuesday, he walked up to it, slowly, and talked to it like it was a person.

“Hey.”

The Voidfish didn’t react.

“Lucretia told me you’re feeling better already, I’m glad.”

The Voidfish still didn’t react.

“I know you’re probably still mad at me, and honestly I can’t blame you.”

Johann took one step closer.

The Voidfish swam to the other end of the tank.

Johann sighed. “Right.”

He took the radio and played the CD that was inside. This one didn’t have Bach.

The two of them spent the rest of the afternoon listening. The Voidfish didn’t glow, but it swam around slowly.

***

That week, Johann only got to practice on monday, wednesday, and friday. He had the breaks, too, except for lunch, which he spent with the football team, as Magnus was committed on seeing him eat every day. It was really weird, and the football team was very noisy, but they respected his boundaries. And, if it made Avi happy, he figured he could endure a week of that until he came back.

When he couldn’t play, he talked to Avi. It wasn’t the same as having him by his side, but it already felt better than the time they spent ignoring each other.

***

And so, the week passed.

On saturday, Johann woke up to the sound of a text notification.

It wasn’t too early, neither too late, just about the time he was hoping to wake up that day. It was ten in the morning. The audition was in nine hours, his bus to Neverwinter was set to depart in four.

Johann took a pillow and placed it on his face. Then, he screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed.

There you go, that really helped.

He sat up and picked his phone, where Avi’s texts could be read on the lock screen:

Avi  
  
Good luck today!  
I mean, not luck  
Success!  
honestly right now ill take anything you have to offer  
Good morning!  
Are you nervous?  
i mean, just the normal amount  
Which is?  
i feel like my skeleton is trying to crawl out of my skin  
Damn, yeah, I’ve been there  
and when its done it will disassemble itself bone by bone  
Uh  
then yeet every piece in a different direction  
until all my remains are scattered around as far as possible from where i started  
...  
except my skin thats probably still where i left it  
Hey maybe you should have some tea?  
Just, you know, to keep you calm until tonight  
yeah thats a good idea  


Johann walked down to the kitchen. Mom was still there, sipping some coffee and watching one of those tourism shows on the small kitchen tv.

“Morning, mom.”

“Oh, good morning, Jo,” she said with a soft smile. “I was just going to wake you up. I made some waffles if you’re hungry, and there’s some coffee left.”

“Waffles sound good, and I’ll just make myself tea, thank you.”

“That great!” She got up and got some stuff from the refrigerator. “I made myself one with marmalade and whipped cream, does that sound good?”

“Cool.”

“We also have some fresh strawberries.”

“Sounds good, yeah.”

“I used up all the chocolate chips, though. You’ll have to forgive me, I just can’t resist the stuff.”

“I’m going to Neverwinter today.”

“But there’s some sprinkles in the pantry if you want some…”

His mom turned to see him. “What was that?”

“I have an audition for the Neverwinter conservatory. Like, with my violin. Which I play.”

Johann hoped the impact of knowing he was playing again would soften the blow.

“You are going to Neverwinter?!”

Nope, didn’t work.

“And when were you planning on telling me?”

“Uh, now?”

She put everything she was holding on the table and put her hands on her hips. “ _Johann_ ,” oh, no, full name basis, “Neverwinter is three hours away, you can’t just decide to go without my permission.”

“But I-”

“And who else is coming? Because you aren’t going alone, are you?”

“I am, but-”

“Johann!”

“ _Mom_ , will you please listen?”

She sat down and gestured at him to keep talking.

“I know is sudden, but this is a really big opportunity and I cannot miss it. The Neverwinter conservatory is one of the most prestigious in the country and acing this audition could get me a full scholarship.”

“Then you should have told me before, Jo. You know I’ll always support you, and I’m happy to hear you are still playing, but this isn’t something you can decide on a whim. A trip to another city!”

“I know, I should have told you before. It’s just,” he sighed, “I didn’t know how to bring up the subject again since, you know, my last attempt was a complete disaster.”

Mom’s expression softened. She probably took pity on him. It wasn’t what Johann wanted, he hoped it would help his case.

Mom sighed. “I assume you already bought the ticket.”

“Yeah,” Johann admitted.

“And you’re old enough to take care of yourself. You’re almost an adult, now.” She sighed. “But I’ll still worry about you.”

“I’ll text you when I get there,” Johann said, “and when I take the bus, and on the way back. I’ll text you every hour.”

Mom seemed to like that. “That would make me feel better.”

“So, is that a yes?”

She thought about it some more, until she finally said, “Alright, you can go.”

Johann hugged her. It seemed to take her by surprise, but she received the hug happy.

“I’ll clean everything before leaving. And I’ll cook.”

“My, thank you,” she said.

Mom finished making his waffles, and as she left the kitchen, she said:

“You’re still grounded for a month.”

Johann grimaced. Fair.

***

The bus was set to depart at two, but as things were, it was five past two and they were still parked at the bus station.

Johann went over the list on his head. He had the tickets to Neverwinter and back in his pocket, a change of clothes in his backpack plus some snacks mom packed last minute, his phone’s charger and power bank (fully stocked), also his phone, his keys, his id, money. That was it.

Wait, the violin. Where was the-?!

On his lap. He was literally holding it. Good one, Johann.

Well, the tea wouldn’t help him now.

He took his phone and texted Avi.

Avi  
  
sup  
im on a bus that doesnt move  
Cool! Have a safe trip!  
When it moves I mean  
thank you  
hey, what else do you do for the nerves  
They got you again?  
yeah  
Sometimes getting distracted helps.  
Like listening to music or a podcast  
Or reading a book  
You got three hours ahead of you, the possibilities are endless!  
ugh dont remind me  
Whoops, sorry  
Sometimes, talking helps  
Telling someone else what makes you feel nervous  
Like, you know  
A friend  
im starting to suspect you want me to talk about my feelings  
;)  
alright  
im  
idk  
scared i might fuck it up again  
An understandable but irrational thought  
You’re going to crush this  
how are you so sure?  
Because you’ve practiced a lot  
but what if it wasn’t enough  
Thats not what you should ask  
Did you give it all?  
yeah  
Then you did more than enough  
And I know you hate when I say this  
But you’re the basically the greatest musician I’ve ever known  
how many musicians do you know  
The only one I need to  
You can do it, Johann  
I know you will  


Johann smiled at his phone. It was hard not to, when Avi was there being… just himself.

The bus’ engine came to life, and the attendant reminded everyone to remain seated and fasten their seatbelts. In just a minute, they were moving out of the parking lot, onto Neverwinter.

  
okay the bus is leaving  
gotta text my mom real quick  
and then i guess ill listen to something on the way  
Have fun in Neverwinter!  
thanks  
and you have fun at prom  
Oh yeah that was today  
I dont think Ill go  
are you still feeling bad  
Nah  
I lost interest  
Maybe I’ll go take a look if it something fun happens  
follow your heart young man  
Haha  
Yeah  
I think I’ll do that  


Johann opened the podcast app and browsed for something chill. He ended up settling on a true crime show, and spent the rest of the trip hearing about gruesome murders. Nothing more relaxing than that.

***

The trip ended up going by faster than Johann expected. Before he noticed, the colorful landscape of Moonlighting was changed by the cold and harsh sight of the mountains. Even if back home the winter was already long gone, here were still some patches of snow on the road. Johann had never seen snow, and to think it was as close as three hours by bus… He wondered how it would be in the middle of winter.

And then, there was Neverwinter itself, stretched far and wide for miles ahead. A city so much bigger than Moonlighting it could easily contain it ten times. And the buildings, were taller, too. Skyscrapers by the dozen.

Wow. Johann had never considered himself a hillbilly until now.

Once he got off the bus he understood why mom was so worried about him being by himself in this city. The station was, as expected, way bigger than the one back home, and Johann immediately felt overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people in there.

Johann clutched to his backpack and violin case and left the station. He just needed to get to the conservatorium and everything would be okay. Lucky for him, it was just a twenty minute walk, and sign ups wouldn’t start until half an hour.

He did take his time on the way there to look around and get something to eat. There were so many ice cream places in this city. After a couple small detours and some wrong turns, he got to the conservatory fifteen minutes before six, a pretty decent hour, he thought.

“Johann Sebastian, a bit late, aren’t we?”

Johann sighed loudly. Kravitz was looking, if possible, even more smug than back in Moonlighting. He probably felt in power by being in his _alma mater_ , kind of how a vampires took a boost in their evil lairs or whatever.

“I was starting to wonder if you would come,” Kravitz said, “what with how much you’ve made me wait here.”

“Dude, I live three hours away, and sign ups opened like fifteen minutes ago.”

“Well, can you blame me for worrying? I haven’t heard from you in weeks. You didn’t even answer my friendship request on Facebook.”

“I must’ve missed it,” said Johann, who clearly remembered deleting it the second he got it. “Are you here to take me to the auditorium or just scold me?”

Kravitz laughed. “Of course I’ll show you the way, I invited you, after all.”

Kravitz gave him a small tour around the faculty before taking him to the sign up booth. The conservatorium was stunning, there was no denying that. As much as Johann would’ve prefered any other tour guide, he didn’t complain, and Kravitz was kind enough to keep the mean comments for after he was signed up.

All in all, the signing up process didn’t take more than a minute. Johann was given a number and estimate hour, and then he was free to roam some more before the auditorium opened.

“By the way,” Kravitz said once Johann was done, “I told my supervisors a really good violinist from my hometown was coming today, so please don’t embarrass me.”

“Very kind of you,” Johann said flatly.

Kravitz gave him a glance over he didn’t even try to disguise. He raised an eyebrow at his jellyfish sweater. “Is that what you’re wearing to the audition or…?”

“I brought a change of clothes.”

“Good! The men’s room is over there. See you around!”

When Kravitz turned his back, Johann struck his tongue out to him. What a prick. He couldn’t wait to shove his victory on his face.

He still had plenty of time, so he didn’t hurry to the bathroom. To be quite honest, he wasn’t looking forward to wearing the suit.

When he came out of the stall, he took a look at himself in the mirror. It wasn’t _too_ bad, even if he hadn’t used that blazer in over three years. Finally an advantage of being short. Was the cravat was too overkill? Nah, this place reeked pretentiousness, the jury would surely give him extra points for that.

Johann grabbed his backpack and violin case again, but he didn’t leave the bathroom. His nerves were acting up. It felt like the sooner he left, the sooner he’d have to get up there and play, only this time he would be alone. Not even the massive size of Neverwinter scared him as much as failing again.

He tried to repeat what Avi had told him. He was gonna be fine. He did his best. He did enough.

But did he, really? He never got to make Fisher glow again. And if he couldn’t even do that, how could he ever perform in front of other people? How could he call himself a violinist? How-?

Johann shook his head. No, he had to keep his head free of bad thoughts. He wished Avi was there to help him stay focused, to tell Johann everything would be alright. So desperate he was, that Johann could even hear his voice now…

“Excuse me, is this where the auditions will take place?”

Wait.

Johann opened the bathroom door just to make sure he wasn’t having an auditory hallucination.

“Have you signed up yet?”

“What? No, I haven’t signed up, but-”

“Then you need to come this way first.”

“But I’m not- look, I’m just looking for my friend-”

“ _Avi?!_ ”

Avi was actually, physically standing there, outside the bathrooms. When he heard his name, he turned around and smiled. “Johann! There you- woah, what are you wearing?”

“What are you _doing_ here?!”

“I’m here to see your audition!” Avi said like it was the most logical explanation in the world. He turned to the guard who was trying to take him to the auditorium. “He’s my friend, see?”

The dude just shrugged and let Avi go, but not without giving his extra casual hoodie and sweatpants a judgemental look. Actually, it really looked like Avi had just gotten off bed and put on the first thing he found. Even his usual ponytail was a mess.

Johann gestured for Avi to follow him outside, and he took them to a beautiful but uncomfortable stone bench in the garden.

“Dude, you can’t just jump on a bus and make a three hour trip to another city!”

“Why not? You did it.”

“I’ve been planning this for months, and shouldn’t you be in bedrest? You had a concussion last week!”

Avi stammered. “Okay, maybe I should’ve put more thought to this than I did, but I’m fine! I was supposed to go back to school on monday anyway.”

Johann covered his face and groaned. “Avi, why did you come?”

“Well,” Avi said, “you were alone and nervous in a strange city, about to face the biggest challenge in your career. I couldn’t let you go through all of that on your own.”

Maybe Johann was really having an hallucinatory episode. It was the stress, yeah.

Avi put a hand on his shoulder and spoke with a soft voice. “Hey, are you mad at me?”

Johann sighed and slowly uncovered his face. “Of course not, you idiot. I just can’t believe you sometimes.” He smiled, despite everything. “Thank you, Avi. I’m really glad you’re here. Is nice to have a friend.”

Avi squeezed his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. “Hey, seriously, what’s the thing on your neck?”

“Oh, it’s called a cravat.”

“Like the asshole from the mall?”

“Excuse me?” Kravitz said, who was just passing by where they were sitting.

“Oh, there he is,” Johann said. “Avi, this is Kravitz, the-”

“Asshole from the mall, yes” Kravitz said. “I was looking for you, Johann Sebastian, the auditorium is now open.”

“Oh, okay,” Johann said, already feeling nervous again.

“You are set to play around eight, so please make sure to tune your violin before going on the stage. I’ll be inside with the rest of the staff.”

While Kravitz headed towards the auditorium, Avi asked, “Why does he keep calling you that?”

“Ignore him, is what I do,” Johann said. He breathed in, then out. “Okay, time to go.”

***

Avi was blown away by the different types of talent in these auditions. Neverwinter really was on a whole new level. Then again, he didn’t know as much as Johann when it came to music, he had never been into a real concert, for starters. Johann could hear and react to things Avi didn’t even notice.

“That was good, but she missed a couple notes at the end. Hopefully, they won’t penalize her too much for it.”

“Hm, the execution is perfect, but that piece is a little below the level of what’s been playing so far.”

“Oh, another Bach. Good to know I’m not the only arrogant asshole today.”

“How do you know so much?” Avi asked. “There haven’t been any violinists yet but you seem to know all there is to know about these so- I mean, pieces.”

Johann shrugged. “You end up learning a bit about everything when you study musical theory. It’s kind of how you know so much about sports you don’t play."

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Have you ever tried another instrument before?”

“Nah. I could learn, but I’ve been playing violin for too long, it’d feel weird.”

“What about the viola?”

“What?”

“Isn’t that just a slightly bigger violin?”

“Yeah.”

“So you could play it.”

“Why the fuck would I play a viola?”

It just struck Avi that Johann said ‘viola’ like he said ‘Wagner’.

The current auditioner was done, and the spokesperson called for the next one.

Johann took a big, deep breath. “Okay, I’m in after this one.”

They walked to the stage through one of the side doors, and waited there for Johann’s turn. Johann’s grip on the violin was very tight,it made Avi worry the neck would snap.

“You got this,” Avi said, completely convinced of it.

“I got this,” Johann said.

Avi watched through the side of the stage as Johann walked to the center. He stood there, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

But Johann didn’t play.

***

“Everything okay?” One of the jurors asked.

“Uh,” Johann said. Or tried. His mouth was dry, but the rest of his body felt uncomfortably damp. Cold sweat fell down his face.

There were.

So.

Many.

People.

“Just a moment!” Johann said, and then he ran back to the side of the stage.

Avi’s face mirrored the panic Johann felt. “Johann, what’s wrong?” He whispered.

“I can’t do it,” Johann gasped.

“Of course you can. You’ve practiced to hell and back, you practically know the song by heart now-”

“Avi, I think I have stage fright.”

“What?!” Avi whisper-yelled. “I thought that was a lie!”

“It _was_ a lie! A lie I’ve been telling for five years to avoid playing in front of people! I haven’t been in front of a crowd this big since I was _twelve_!”

Avi started to panic, “Oh shit, oh fuck, okay, let’s calm down! Let’s calm down, we can find a way to overcome this-”

“Johann Sebastian, what the hell is going on?” Kravitz approached them from the stage. “I recall asking you specifically not to embarrass me in front-”

“Johann has stage fright!” Avi said in panic.

“Oh, you gotta be shitting me!”

“Can you guys just shut _the fuck_ up for a moment?!” Johann said.

The two other boys kept quiet.

Johann was having trouble breathing. He tried to hold onto the wall for support, but even his hands were trembling. This was it, he was really going to blow his chance to get into the conservatory because of a stupid burst of stage fright.

“Okay,” Avi said, “okay, I know how to fix this.” He grabbed Johann by the shoulders to keep him still. “Johann, I’m gonna need you to focus on me, okay?” He said in the softest tone he could muster in his semi-panicked state. “We’re alone right now.”

“Uh, I’m standing right here,” Kravitz said.

“It’s just you and me, and no one else,” Avi repeated. “Can you do that?”

Johann had trouble speaking between gasps, so he just nodded.

“Good. Now, I need you to take a good look at me, then close your eyes and walk into the stage.”

“You… want me to walk with my eyes closed?”

“… Okay, yeah, I see how that could be a bad idea. You’re going to take a good look at me, then look down and walk into the stage, and _then_ close your eyes. And when you’re there, you’re going to forget everyone and play just for me.”

Johann looked up, and he saw Avi’s eyes, intensely focused, yet gentle.

“We’ve done this before, right?” Avi said. “Back in the Voidfish room. This is just like that.”

Okay.

Okay. Yeah.

He could do that.

Johann took in Avi’s sight one last time, then walked to the stage.

He could still hear the people in their seats, whispering, probably about him, definitely about him. He was the only person in the stage for them to see…

No, focus.

He closed his eyes and positioned himself.

He breathed in and out.

And he thought of Avi.

And all the times Johann had played for him.

Avi had come all the way from Moonlighting just to see Johann, it was only fair Johann played for him.

[So, Johann played Chaconne.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqA3qQMKueA)

It was second nature to him, after playing it for so long. The notes came in pairs, like a duet, and he felt like he could understand what Bach felt when he composed it. Some theorized it was the loneliness, the wish to fill the void left by his beloved.

But before the loss and grief, the only thing that could inspire such an emotionally charged piece, was the life he shared with Maria Barbara.

The partita hadn’t been written out of loneliness, but love, so that’s how Johann played.

He couldn’t finish, obviously. The audition couldn’t last more than five minutes, so he cut it short and hoped Avi would love it as much as Johann loved playing it.

He stood there for a moment, eyes still closed, mustering the courage to open his eyes and look at the judges. But before he could, the applause roared.

Johann opened his eyes, shocked at the response, and saw more people than he remembered there being before. Wait, he knew those people. Dressed in fancy and colorful suits and dresses, and making more noise than was proper inside an auditorium, were the boys and girls from Saint Bob. And they were cheering for him.

Johann looked to the side, waiting for an explanation, but Avi was looking at the seats in as much, or maybe even more surprise than him.

Without knowing what else to do, Johann quickly bowed to the jurors and left the stage. He was barely out of sight from them when Avi got to him and lifted him from the ground in a hug.

“You did it! You played, and it was so beautiful, oh my god!”

“Thanks,” Johann said, though his answer was a little muffled against Avi’s chest. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“I loved it!” Avi laughed, or was it crying? Johann couldn’t tell. He pulled away from the hug and Johann could finally see the trail of tears coming down his face. But of course, Avi was smiling. “You’re amazing.”

Now Johann felt like crying. It was too many emotions and surprises for one day.

And speaking of surprises, “So, uh, what’s up with them?”

They looked through the stairs at the guys from school filling the backseats of the auditorium. It was too dark to tell for everyone else, but Magnus’s silhouette was easily recognizable.

“I swear it wasn’t me,” Avi said. He gestured towards them, but Johann stopped him.

“Are you really gonna greet Magnus in an auditorium full of people?”

“You’re right. We should probably have this conversation outside.”

“That seems wise.”

***

It was dark outside by the time they got out, and the conservatory’s campus was noticeably emptier. Still, Avi made sure to be a good distance from the auditorium’s door when he called Magnus and the rest to meet them outside.

His decision proved right when Magnus picked him and Johann up and screamed at the top of his lungs.

“THAT WAS AMAZING, MAN!”

“T-thanks,” was all Johann could say against Magnus’ crushing hug.

“SERIOUSLY DUDE I’M CRYING THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONG I’VE EVER HEARD!”

“ _Why am I in this hug?_ ” Avi struggled to say.

“I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN A WEEK AND I MISSED YOU.”

Carey whistled at him. “Let them go, Mags!”

“Yeah, we want to celebrate too!” Killian said.

When Avi could breathe again, he finally asked, “What are you guys even doing here?”

“Well,” Magnus started, “after you told me you were coming to see Johann, I thought, ‘Hey, that’s a cool idea!’ So I told Lucretia and she said ‘Yeah, sure’, and I also told Carey, and she was like, ‘Dope’, and she told Killian, and Klaarg, then he was like-”

“He gets it,” Killian interrupted him.

“And that’s pretty much it!” Magnus beamed. “Now we’re all having an adventure in Neverwinter!”

Avi took a good look at everyone. Magnus, Carey, and Killian from the team were there, but also Lup and Klaarg, and Taako, even Barry, even _Lucretia_! And all of them wearing sparkly dresses and suits.

“Wait, did you guys come straight from prom?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Lup said. ”It’s a three hour trip, we had to skip it.”

“You _skipped_ prom?!” Avi said, now even more surprised.

“It’s not a big deal,” Magnus said. “I mean, Lup and I were coronated King and Queen, but everyone saw it coming.”

Then he and Lup high fived.

“Psh, brag much?” Taako said.

“Besides,” Lup said, “you can’t compare some dumb party to hearing Johann play in person, right?”

All eyes turned to Johann, and he froze like a deer in the headlights.

“Yeah, dude, that was awesome!” Carey cheered.

“I know I’ve heard you play before, but it was nothing like this,” said Lucretia.

“I cried so hard!” Klaarg cried.

“Uh, t-thanks,” Johann managed to say in a small voice. He was clearly overwhelmed by all the attention.

“Johann Sebastian, that was fantastic!”

Avi would’ve groaned. Johann was already dealing with enough for the asshole from the mall to add to it. But one look at him made Avi change that groan into a laugh.

“Dude, were you just crying?”

“Uh, _no,_ ” Kravitz said, but his red eyes and sore voice told another tale. He quickly covered his face to hide a sneeze and coughed. “I just didn’t expect you’d play such an emotional piece. You promised the first sonata’s presto.”

(“OH SHIT IS THAT KRAVITZ HELLO THER- oof!”

“Not now, Taako.”)

“Yeah, I…” Johann gave Avi a brief look, before smiling, “I had a change of heart.”

Avi smiled back, his heart filled with warmth.

“Well, I guess I can forgive you just this once, since you left a very good impression on my professors.”

Johann opened his eyes wide, not seeming to believe it at first. “Wait, are you serious?”

“Are you even surprised? Chaconne is one of Bach’s most beautiful pieces.”

“Yeah,” Barry said, “it was almost as good as Wagner’s _Romance_! You should be proud.”

Avi had to hide his laugh at Johann’s expression of utter disgust. “Please don’t say that.”

“I agree with him,” Kravitz said.

“Of course you fucking do,” Johann added.

“Not the Wagner part. You _should_ be very proud.”

Now, _that_ took Avi by surprise. Kravitz was being nice?

Magnus gave Johann a strong pat on the back. “Yeah dude, you crushed it!”

“Kicked that audition right in the ass!” Lup said.

“I’m still crying!” Klaarg cried some more.

A look of something Avi couldn’t describe passed across Johann’s face. Was he feeling anxious again? No, this was different. “Um…”

“Hey, buddy, you okay,” Avi whispered.

Johann looked at him, then at everyone, before finally saying. “My bus leaves in half an hour, so.”

“Oh!” Avi said. “Wait, shit, you have to run!”

“ _We_ have to run!” Magnus announced. “Let’s go, guys! Johann has a bus to catch!”

“Oh, and we can catch the same bus!” Lup suggested.

Johann sighed. “Yeah, sure, let’s all go I guess.”

“WAIT!” Taako parted the crowd with a violent push and walked straight towards Kravitz, slamming a piece of crumpled paper in his hand. “Hi, it’s me again, Taako, I turned eighteen last month.”

“Uh,” was Kravitz’s confused answer.

Lup grabbed Taako by the arm and dragged him out as he signaled for Kravitz to call him.

They got to the station with five minutes to spare thanks to a mix of running and power walking. Johann had to stop just a couple times on the way and now once more to catch his breath.

“Seems all that running paid off, eh?” Said Avi, only somewhat out of breath.

“You know what?” Johann gasped. “I’m still alive, so yeah.”

“Which one is your bus?”

Johann pointed to a small, one story bus parked two platforms away. It read clearly on the front ‘Moonlighting - 9 PM’. It looked like they would make it back home with no trouble.

But when they all approached the bus driver to purchase the rest of the tickets, he gave their group a look, then shook his head. “I can’t fit all of you this close to departing, kids.”

“Is it because of Klaarg?” Lup asked. “Don’t worry, he can squeeze in one seat just fine.”

“And Carey can squeeze in half,” Magnus added.

Carey punched him on the side. “Very funny!”

“I can carry everyone on my lap!” Klaarg announced proudly.

“ _No, you can’t_ ,” said Lucretia.

The bus driver cleared his throat and resumed. “I’m sorry, but I only have one ticket left.”

“Then Avi should take it!” Carey blurted.

Avi turned to her. She was giving him a shit eating grin.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea!” Barry of all people added, and soon everyone was agreeing. And _all_ of them were smiling like they were in a very fun secret. Avi wanted to die right then and there.

“So, is that settled then?” The driver asked him.

Avi stuttered as he tried to think of something to say that could save him from the knowing stares of everyone in the group, but in the end Johann answered for him.

“Yeah, we’re settled.”

Avi looked at Johann, as he felt a small pang of heat on his face.

Johann looked at him too, then whispered, “Thanks I don’t think I could’ve shared a seat with any of the others for three hours.”

“Oh! mean, sure,” Avi whispered back, feeling relieved, if not a little disappointed.

They got into the bus, and while Johann hastily shed every extra layer of fancy clothing and replaced it with the purple jellyfish sweater, Avi watched the guys wave goodbye from the platform, until the bus left the station, like Johann and Avi were leaving for another country and not their hometown. It wasn’t like they wouldn’t see each other on Monday. Still, Avi waved too, because it was kinda his fault they had come all the way to Neverwinter. If that didn’t make them the coolest bunch of people in the world, Avi didn’t want to know.

“They’re pretty intense,” Avi thought out loud when they finally were out of sight. He turned to Johann, “But they mean well, so don’t hold it against them for…”

Johann was smiling.

Not his usual shy smile. A real, wide smile, crossing his face from side to side.

“Are you-?”

Johann covered his mouth with both hands. “It must be the stress. It’s the stress! I’ve had a very long day and it’s messing up my face, okay?!”

Avi couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Dude, it’s called being happy! You’re happy!” He said, infinitely amused. 

“That makes no sense,” Johann said, muffled by his own hands.

“You actually like that everyone came to see you, right?”

Johann didn’t say anything for a moment, his mouth still covered, but Avi could tell he was fighting that pesky smile back by the crease on his eyes.

“You also aced the audition, that seems like a good reason to be happy. I’d be very proud if I were you.”

Johann sighed, then slowly dragged his hands down. The smile was gone now, but the crease was still there. “I _am_ proud. And don’t smile like that.”

“Like what?” Avi said, his grin widening.

Johann glared at him, and Avi’s smile turned into a full blown laugh. Johann scoffed at him and rolled his eyes, but the damage was already done. He looked the most relaxed Avi had seen him in months, and that smile on his eyes kept threatening to come.

“Will you stop that? I need to call my mom to tell her I’m not dead.”

“Sure, sure,” Avi said, trying to control his laugh.

Johann signed for him to be quiet.

“Hey, mom. Yes, I’m on my way back. Yeah.”

 _Tell her about the audition_ , Avi mouthed, but Johann pretended to ignore him.

“In about three hours. Yes, I’ll call you.” Then, he listened to something on the other end, and it seemed to Avi he was having a hard time saying the rest. “Yes, well, I… did good this time.”

The flicker on his voice didn’t pass by unnoticed to Avi.

“I love you too. See ya.”

And he hung up.

“There, now you can go back to being a dork if you want.”

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“Hm?” Johann looked at Avi in little confusion. “Oh, you mean the call? Yeah, mom was just reminding me I’m grounded when I get home.”

“What? Why?”

Johann hissed. “ _Beeecaaaause_ I didn’t tell her I was coming until, like, this morning.”

Avi blurted out a laugh again. “Wait, seriously?!”

“Look, you know I made a lot of bad decisions these past months. I didn’t want her to know I had an audition.”

“I’m actually surprised you of all people was going to do something so… rebellious!”

“Hey, I can be rebellious. I can go wherever I want without telling my mom.”

“You _did_ end up telling her, though.”

“I mean, yeah, it’s a three hour trip to another city, I’m not insane.”

Avi snorted at that, but he was still a bit concerned.

“Why didn’t you want her to know?”

Johann looked awkwardly to the side. “It’s just…” he sighed, “I don’t know, she didn’t take it well when I failed that first time.”

Inside Avi’s mind, something fell into place.

“You didn’t want to disappoint her.”

Johann nodded.

The piece of a puzzle Avi didn’t know he was solving was set, and he understood so much about Johann now.

“Hey, Johann… don’t you think maybe that’s why you’re so scared of playing for other people?”

Johann snorted. “What, because of my mom? I mean, yeah, she was super annoying when I was a kid.”

“No, I mean, you used to play for her, right? You said she thought you were a genius.”

“That’s what moms do. They’ll always say their child is the best in the world.”

“But when you failed at the conservatory, did she scold you?”

Johann frowned. “No, of course not.”

“Was she mad?”

“Not at all. She was just… you know, disappointed.”

“Did she _tell_ you she was disappointed?”

“Well, no.”

“Then how did you know?”

“It was obvious.”

“How?”

“Because she believed in me, and then I failed.”

Johann’s words hung heavy in the air after he said them, like it surprised him.

Avi reached for Johann’s hand and held it tightly. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Johann said after a beat. “Yeah, I’m just… realizing a lot of things.”

“Sorry to drop all of this on you.”

“No,” Johann shook his head. “I think I needed to hear it.”

Avi squeezed Johann’s hand and gave him a reassuring smile. “For what it’s worth, I’m very proud of you, and I would be even if you had failed, because I know you, and I know how much effort you’ve put into this.”

Johann smiled back at him. Not the big smile, but it was honest. “Thank you.” He said.

They didn’t say anything else for another while. Avi took in the warmth of Johann’s hand on his, and where their shoulders bumped against each other. Johann’s face was really close, if he gathered up the courage, he could reach forward just a little more.

Avi yawned, instead. Now that the adrenaline of the race to the station was finally wearing off, he was left with all the accumulated exhaustion of the day. So much had happened, he had just been in bed for a week after all.

“You should probably rest,” Johann said with no small hint of amusement.

“If you don’t mind me leaving you alone for three hours.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I need time to reflect.”

“Hah, then I see you when we get home.”

“Good night, sleepy boy.”

Avi shifted in his seat until he was comfortable, and there wasn’t much after he closed his eyes, so tired he was he fell asleep almost instantly.

Only once during the trip did he wake up, and it was when he felt the soft weight of Johann’s head against his shoulder.

Without thinking, Avi leaned against him, then fell back asleep. He didn’t notice they were still holding hands.

***

It was past midnight when they arrived on Moonlighting. Johann woke up from the best nap he had taken in years, only to be shoved out of the bus in a rush by the attendant. He and Avi scrambled to grab their things as quickly as possible. barely having time to check if everything was in order, before they were pushed out and were left alone in the platform in the middle of the night.

“Well, that was rude,” Johann said.

Avi stifled a yawn. “At least we’re home in one piece. Man, it really is late. I wonder how the guys are doing.”

Johann did a mental inventory on his luggage while Avi called Magnus. He didn’t leave anything in the bus, thankfully, but there was a lingering sense of something missing after they got down.

A cold breeze blew through him, so strong it shoved the hair that covered half of his face. Johann groaned as he rubbed his arms for warmth, now regretting not packing another jacket. All he had now was the jellyfish sweater and the lingering warmth of Avi’s shoulder against his.

The thought of that made his face burn. God, did he really fall asleep on Avi on the way back?

“Okay,” Avi said, “Magnus and the guys should be arriving in an hour. There isn’t really a point in us waiting for them this late, so what do you say I call an Uber and we split it later?”

Johann shook those thoughts out of his head. “Sounds good by me. How are the others getting home? They’re a big group.”

“I think Killian has her car still parked at the school, and it’s a big car. I’m sure they can fit everyone in it.”

“Wait, what’s Killian’s car doing at the school?”

“I guess she left if there before ditching prom with the rest.” Avi laughed. “Man, I still can’t believe they bailed on the biggest party of the year and got into a bus still dressed for it.”

Right, prom was today. With all that had happened, Johann completely forgot about it. But it was true that everyone had to skip prom to see him. Avi didn’t even get to dress for it.

It wasn’t really fair. He had been looking up to it, after all.

“Maybe you could still go.”

Avi looked at him. “Hm? Go where?”

“Prom. I bet it’s still going.”

“I’m not really _dressed_ for prom, if you haven’t noticed.” Avi said, pointing at pretty much everything he was wearing.

“But you wanted to go, right?” Johann insisted. “Maybe you can still get to enjoy it. It’s the biggest party of the year, after all.”

“I mean…” Avi scratched his head. “I _wanted_ to go, but now that’s just…”

And then, he looked at Johann. Like, really looked at him.

“Do you wanna go to prom with me?”

Johann was taken aback for a moment.

“Oh,” he laughed, “The way you said that sounded like you were asking me out.”

“I am,” Avi said.

Johann didn’t know to say to that.

Avi offered Johann his hand, who took it, and they walked all the way to school in silence.

It was weird, how after being on two three hour rides between cities, the five minutes from the station to the school felt like the longest trip Johann had taken that day.

But they got there in the end.

It was dark and empty.

In the silence of the night, Avi started to laugh. “Okay, yeah, we should’ve seen this coming.I guess it was expecting too much to get to do both things in one day.”

“I’m sorry.”

Avi stopped laughing. “What? Why?”

“Because,” Johann started, “you only missed prom to see my audition in Neverwinter.”

Avi scoffed, and he would’ve laughed if he hadn’t noticed how serious Johann was.

“Johann, I _wanted_ to be in Neverwinter today.”

“But why?”

“I already told you, to see your audition-”

“I know that part, I just don’t know why you would go all the way to buy bus tickets, sit through a three hour trip, find your way in another city, all of that just…”

“… For you?”

Johann nodded.

“Well, you told me I should follow my heart today.”

Johann opened his mouth to say something, but he only got a confused stutter. He took a deep breath, then said, “You can’t be serious.”

But Avi looked serious.

“Can I ask you something?” He said in a soft voice, like it was a secret only Johann could hear. It didn’t matter they were already alone.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you play Chaconne?”

The question took Johann by surprise.

“Uh, well…”

Avi looked at him expectantly.

Lying to himself was easy. Johann had spent most of his life burying his thoughts where they couldn’t hurt him. The good and the bad. The fear and guilt. The fondness and joy. As long as he didn’t think about it, it didn’t exist.

But he couldn’t lie about it to Avi, not when he asked so nicely. It was so, so unfair.

"I just followed my heart.”

Avi took Johann’s hands on his. They were warm, and gentle. He brought them close to his chest, and when he spoke, he looked at Johann like there was nothing else in the world but him.

“Is it okay if I follow mine now?”

Johann could feel Avi’s heart beating fast on his chest, while his own pulse raced.

He took a deep breath. “Yes.”

Time didn’t stop when Avi leaned down, and the world didn’t disappear when Johann closed his eyes. He was still aware of the cold in mid spring and the different noises coming from the city on a saturday night.

It was a short kiss, all things considered, no longer than a few seconds.

But in those seconds, Johann could’ve sworn the force of gravity had stopped working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by Alice, whom I can't thank enough for her amazing work. If you don't [follow her](https://loafwins.tumblr.com/) already, what are you doing?  
> The nebula in the background can be found [here](https://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/imagegallery/image_feature_2081.html), thanks Nasa.
> 
> See you guys in the epilogue!


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johann and Avi say goodbye.

The short period between exams and summer break was the best, Merle thought, as the library was finally quiet again.

Not that he hated the kids or anything, he just, you know, wanted to play chess without the sound of children panicking over tests for once.

“Another job well done,” John said, moving his knight to a-4.

Merle grunted. “You didn’t do anything, though.” Then, he moved his knight to a-4 too. Too easy.

“Oh, didn’t I?” Knight to e-4.

Queen to e-7. “No, it was all the jellyfish kids running around, pestering people and yelling at the board.”

John nodded. “Yes, of course,” he picked up his queen and moved it to a-5,“that’s what we want them to believe.”

“I recall you clearly saying it was a lost cause, when was it? Oh, right, literally last week.” And he moved his white pawn to b-4.

John’s impasible expression broke just for a moment in a smile. He moved his queen to a-4 and killed Merle’s knight.

Merle scoffed.

***

There were two parties to celebrate Fisher’s new status as an official school mascot.

The first was held in the hall, and everyone in school was invited. Food and drinks courtesy of the Voidfish committee. Fisher itself didn’t attend, as it was loud and crowded, but Lucretia drew stickers of it to giveaway during the party. They couldn’t have made it without everyone’s support, after all.

The second party took place that same day after class, in the Voidfish room, and only the Voidfish committee was invited. They only had whatever was leftover from the first party to eat, but they also had Fisher, and that was really all they needed to celebrate.

Also, they finally got enough chairs for everyone.

“Cheers for Fisher,” Magnus said, “Saint Bob’s number one science mascot!”

“Cheers!” Said everyone.

“You mean the best _school_ mascot.” Lucretia teased him.

“Lucy, I love our jellyfish child and all, but Bobby is clearly superior. He surpases Fisher in strength, dexterity, and-”

He was booed by everyone in the room, throwing snacks at him. Magnus went back to his seat and ate a chip that landed on his hair like it wasn’t the grossest thing in the world.

“If I may have a word,” Professor Miller said, standing up, “I just want to thank you guys for all the work you’ve put these past years. This all started as a small project to keep a Voidfish in school, and seeing how far we’ve come now, I simply cannot put into words how I feel. So thank you, boys and girl!”

She started clapping and was soon joined by the new recruits, two first years she managed to snatch for the committee in the coming years.

“And of course, I want to formally introduce you to Angus and Noelle, our newest core members!”

Now, it was the old guys’ turn to clap. Magnus was cheering, Lucretia was smiling, even Johann was happy to meet these new kids.

“Well, I don’t want to stall the party anymore, and I’m afraid I’ll start crying if I say anything else,” she laughed, though her eyes were indeed looking watery behind her glasses. “Unless anyone has anything they want to say…?”

“I do,” Johann said. “I, uh, prepared something for Fisher.”

Professor Miller gestured for him to take the word, but Johann didn’t say anything at first. He stood up, then made his way between the chairs -with some effort, now he realized why they never let them have more than two chairs in that room- until he finally reached his violin resting on the desk. He could feel all eyes on him as he positioned himself. Magnus even gasped loudly.

“Can you, uh, please turn around?”

He was still getting accustomed to playing for other people, and five whole people was already pushing things outside his comfort zone. But it was the last meeting, at least if everything went wrong he could run and never come back again.

Just kidding.

He was standing by the door, so with everyone’s back to him, they could see the tank as he played.

The new kids gasped when Fisher glowed in deep purples, blues and pinks. It was a slow song this time, one Johann knew it liked. You could never go wrong with [Tchaikovsky](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PtIHBCuR-Q).

After he was done, the party officially started.

Everyone ditched the chairs for more space to walk around comfortably, and were now talking to each other while classical music played in the club’s radio. It was fancy as hell. Johann was securing himself the last chocolate chip cookies when he heard Lucretia instructing the new kids.

“You’re gonna need to talk to it,” she was saying. “Social interaction is very important while caring for a Voidfish.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the kids said, one of them, Angus, even writing down every word she said.

“And don’t let it go long periods of time without music,” Johann chimed in. “Mozart, Paganini, Tchaikovsky, Vivaldi, Bach - _obviously-_ , but no Wagner. Wagner is bad.”

Noelle cocked her head. “Didn’t he become famous on account of writin’ good music?”

Johann scoffed. “Only people who don’t know about music like him. Fisher actually has a taste.”

“Fisher… has… taste, got it!” Angus said enthusiastically with that round, childish face of his.

Johann leaned towards Lucretia and whispered. “Is it just me, or the first years are getting younger?”

“That’s because I _am_ young! I’m twelve!” Angus said, startling Johann. Oh, he had a good ear too.

“Angus skipped middle school,” Lucretia said. “He’s kind of a genius.”

Johann recoiled at the word. He was that age when people called him a genius, too.

But… Angus looked fine. He did seem to enjoy himself, and hey, he got in High School after all. Maybe he was a real deal genius.

“That’s dope, dude.” He turned towards Noelle. “And what’s your age? Did you skip Middle School or Elementary?”

“I’m fifteen,” Noelle said.

“Oh, shit, my bad, it’s just that you’re so…”

“What, short?”

“I mean-”

“That’s racist, dude.”

“ _Oh my god I’m so sorry-_ ”

“I’m messin’ with ya!” Noelle exclaimed, laughing loudly. “Oh, man, you had to see yer face!”

Johann huffed, but in the end he laughed with her too.

“Hey, show your senior some respect,” Lucretia scolded her.

“Nah, don’t, older kids are a sham. We’re just pretending everything is cool when in reality everyone’s just scared all the time.”

Lucretia looked at him with a mix of confusion and concern. “Are you feeling alright? Should I call Avi or…?”

He rolled his eyes. “Im kidding, Lucretia.” But when she wasn’t looking, he gave the kids a thumbs up and “blew” a raspberry. Noelle laughed, Angus looked in mild horror.

But speaking of Avi, Johann was starting to miss him. He would be out in another half an hour. Johann texted him, hoping he would read it soon.

***

Johann  
  
hope the test went well  
  
tell me when youre done  
  
i was thinkng ice cream for today  
  


Johann’s texts were the first thing Avi saw after turning in his last make-up.

Somehow, coming back from a sport injury was harder on the academic aspect than the sport itself. Avi was able to join for the last two games of the season without much incident, but man, missing a week of work really took a toll on him. He still did good, at least he thought, but right now he was only happy the last of his tests was over and he could finally rest his poor tired mind.

He smiled at his phone. Ice cream sounded great about now.

“Yearn check!”

That was all the warning he got before Carey tackled him. _Oof!_ For a girl so small she sure had a ton of momentum.

She pushed him face down on the floor and sat on his back. “No yearning on the halls, man!”

“I wasn’t yearning!” Avi said. “I was just reading a text!”

“Was it Johann’s?”

“Yes.”

“Then you were yearning. You can’t fool me, dude, you’re head over heels for that man.”

“You know what? Yes, I love my boyfriend. Shock! Can I get up now?”

Carey got off his back and helped him up. “I assume you won’t be joining us at the cheer squad party today?”

“I don’t think so, I was gonna hang out with Johann later. You know he’s not big on parties.”

“It’s cool, we already figured you might bail in favour of your sweetheart.”

Avi rolled his eyes. “Come on.”

“Hey, I’m just glad you two finally got your shit together! Took you long enough to ask him out.”

“I guess I owe you for that,” Avi joked, “though if I’m being honest…”

Carey raised an eyebrow. Er. Scalebrow? The Dragonborn equivalent. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah! Everything is great, actually, is just… Well, I guess I expected dating would feel different.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know how to explain.”

“Were you picturing something like the movies? Because that’s bullshit, people don’t act like that in real life. Except Barry and Lup, but they are… _intense_.”

“No, no. I know that. I didn’t expect some movie magic to solve every problem in my life when I asked Johann out… But I don’t know, our relationship didn’t really change after that?”

Carey stared at him.

“I mean, sure, we kiss now, and that’s very very cool, but aside from that we’re still pretty much the same we’ve always been? We’re still hanging out after class, I go to the Voidfish room to hear him play, he comes to my games to cheer-”

“That’s because you idiots have been acting like a couple since forever. God!” Carey yelled at him. “This is exactly why everyone thought you guys were already dating!”

Avi felt his face burn. “It wasn’t _that_ couply-stuff.”

“It was very couply-stuff. Just because you didn’t PDA back then or even now doesn’t mean it wasn’t obvious to everyone you had it for each other.”

“Everyone but us?”

“Everyone but you, yep.”

“Now you know how _we_ felt in first year,” Avi muttered.

Carey started sparkling. “That was different. I _actually_ hated Killian’s guts.”

“Yeah, you sure did.”

Carey punched him in the arm for one point of thunder damage. “Shut up, you dumb himbo!”

“Says the useless lesbian!” Avi retorted, doing two points of psychological damage.

They could have knocked each other out like that had Avi’s phone not pinged then.

“Shit, that must be Johann. I didn’t get to answer because _someone_ yearn checked me.”

“Don’t be a wuss.” Carey said.

“You know I had a concussion like a month…”

“You’re not gonna break your head by falling on your butt… hey, you cool?”

Avi stared at the screen, not daring to open the notification message. “It’s an email.”

“From?”

He showed Carey his phone screen.

“Oh, shit.”

***

After the food ran out, they returned the chairs, and the last member of the committee left, Johann stayed in the Voidfish room. Old habits die hard.

It was weird knowing he would never enter this room again, after spending practically all of his High School years there. To think he would never see Fisher again…

No, that wasn’t completely true. He could still visit, right? Johann hoped so. After all their work, there was nothing this school could do to keep the Voidfish committee away from the Voidfish. And Johann’s home was still there, in Moonlighting. He could pay a visit to school from time to time, check on the club, catch up with Professor Miller…

But he would still miss Fisher.

“You’re kind of my oldest friend here, you know?” He said to it.

The Voidfish didn’t do anything.

“I mean, technically I met Lucas and Lucretia first, but I I bonded with you before them, haha…”

The Voidfish swam slowly away from Johann.

He sighed. “I know you’re still mad at me, and there’s nothing I can do about that now. I just wanted you to know how much this has meant to me, and…” He placed a hand against the tank, “and to say goodbye. I’m going to miss you.”

The Voidfish turned around.

Then, it leaned against Johann’s hand on the glass.

“Hey, babe! Sorry for the wait, Carey intercepted me on my way here and… woah, are you okay?”

“ _Yeah_ ,” Johann said between sobs.

“Do you need a moment?”

Johann nodded. He didn’t see Avi leave through the tears.

He left the room ten minutes later. Avi handed him a tissue as soon as he saw him.

Johann cleared his throat. “Thanks. How was the test? Are you finally free from the evil hand of Literature?”

“God, _yes!_ I’m not reading another book ever in my life.”

Johann nodded. Books did suck. “Then let’s go get some ice cream.”

“Do you have an specific place in mind?”

“Remember the little cart by the park? I can’t stop thinking about the rice pudding flavour. How do they make rice taste like cinnamon?”

“I would assume it’s the cinnamon?”

“You know what I mean.”

Avi laughed at that. “We have to hurry, then, the cart closes at six.”

“I think we’re good, then. We can get there in five minutes by bus…”

Johann moved to the right, Avi moved to the left.

Johann groaned. “You can’t seriously expect me to walk.”

“Of course not, it’s a fifteen minute walk! We’ll have to run if we want to get there in time.”

“No. No way.”

“Come on, it’ll be like a race.”

“A race for ice cream, how old are you again?”

Avi just kept walking. “I’m getting a head start! Come on, dude, I’m going to win! And you’ll be a loser”

If Avi thought that childish baiting would work on Johann, he was absolutely right.

“Let’s see who’s the loser!” Johann yelled, and he ran after Avi as fast as his legs let him.

Avi laughed at Johann’s sudden change in attitude, but he didn’t let that keep him out the race. He still had a good ten feet and years of experience ahead of Johann.

The park came in sight about ten minutes later, and Johann was barely managing to keep up. He slowed to a stop.

“Wait…” he called for Avi.

Avi almost didn’t turn around, but he quickly ran back when he saw Johann with his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. He was by his side in just a second. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Johann said between gasps. “I have a water bottle in my backpack, can you…?”

“Of course,” Avi said as he ran around him and placed a hand on his backpack. “Which pocket is it? I don’t-”

Johann gathered all the energy he had left and made a sprint for it. “See you at the finish line, loser!”

“How old are _you_?!” Avi yelled behind him.

In the end, they got to the ice cream cart at the same time. Avi caught up to Johann at the entrance of the park and tackled him with a hug to immobilize him. They were laughing so hard it was impossible to start running again.

They didn’t do much walking after that, there was only so much stamina left in Johann for the trip back home, so they just chose a bank to sit for the rest of the afternoon.

It was a beautiful day outside. On a friday like this lots of people walked around the park, specially couples. Johann never pictured himself as one of those who went for walks around the park holding hands and showing affection in public. But he still was here with Avi, wasn’t he?

“Hey, Johann?”

“I’m not letting you eat more of my cone, you can buy yourself another one if you want.”

“It’s not that.”

Johann turned to look at Avi, and any snarky retort he might’ve had died on his throat. Avi looked serious this time. “Is everything alright?”

Avi took a deep breath. “I got into my preferred school.”

“Oh!” Johann smiled, that was _very_ good news! “Seriously? Dude, that’s awesome! Man, you scared me for a moment, I thought you were going to say something bad with…”

But Avi didn’t seem as happy as Johann had expected. He looked… conflicted.

That’s when Johann remembered what was Avi’s preferred school.

“Oh… you’re going to Goldcliff.”

And Johann was going to Neverwinter.

“I’m sorry, Johann, I-”

“What? Dude, you got accepted in Goldcliff! That’s, like, one of the best engineering programs.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know you worked your ass off studying to get in.” Johann put his hand -the one that wasn’t colding his ice cream- on Avi’s shoulder. “I’m super proud of you, dude, you did it!”

Avi smiled as he reached for Johann’s hand with his own. “Aw, you’re gonna make me cry, man,” he joked, but that only lasted a moment. He sighed. “But seriously, you don’t have to pretend for me.”

“I’m not pretending, I really am happy for you.”

“Johann, Goldcliff is twelve hours away.”

“I know.”

“We won’t see each other anymore.”

“We have the holidays.”

“I won’t be able to come home on every holiday.”

“Then we’ll see each other on the breaks.”

“Those could be months apart-”

Johann threw the cone on a bin and grabbed Avi’s face with both hands. “Avi, I’ve been pining over you for _three fucking_ _years_.”

Avi stared at Johann through his hold. He didn’t say anything. Well, he couldn’t say anything, as Johann was holding his face really strong.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Johann said, “of course I will. I know I’m not the most touchy-feely boyfriend in the world, but I do love being with to you, and the thought of not having this for months at a time is… not great, what else am I supposed to feel?

“But I can endure that. As long as I know you’ll be back, I can wait another three years if necessary.”

Avi’s eyes welled up with tears. “I’ll miss you too.”

Johann leaned forward and kissed him. They sat like that for a moment. Avi’s tears finally started to fall, but he didn’t let go.

When they separated, he said, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Johann said.

“So much for not being into PDA.”

Johann laughed. “I can make exceptions.”

Avi rested his forehead against Johann’s and sighed. “You’re so not getting away from me until I leave.”

“I figured.”

“You think you know dates? I know so many romantic places, we’re gonna fall in love at least five more times.”

“My mom wants to meet you.”

“Wh- like, today?!”

“No, I mean, whenever. Soonish. Not today, she comes home late.”

“Oh, that’s a relief… not that I don’t want to meet her! It’s just, well, I didn’t even wash my hair today.”

“Gross.”

“Orders from the dermatologist, dude! … But hey, if you don’t have plans for tonight, the guys from the cheer squad are throwing an end-of-the-school-year party, maybe we could check it out?”

Johann thought about it. A party full of people from the cheer and football teams?

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from [Anti-gravities](https://youtu.be/wSUQfmYZlP0), by Sasakure.UK. You can probably see the influence it had on the story.
> 
> I want to thank Alice yet again for all the help into the making of this fic. I figured most of the story by yelling on her discord, and on top of that she did the amazing art you saw last chapter.
> 
> This story wouldn't be where it is without Gaby, she heard the earlier versions and cheered me on to write.
> 
> Cas had a lot of good feedback to give. The Voidfish scene in the previous chapter came after their input.
> 
> Cat and Tai gave me a lot, and I mean A LOT of high school ideas, all the things I got right about the school system was them.
> 
> A big shout out to the johavi discord for being so full of cool people!!!
> 
> To all the people who left kudos, commented, or just read for the sake of reading, thank you so, so much. I didn't really expect this overindulgent mess of angst and cheesy romance to be liked by so many people. Im so happy I got to enrage, depress, and surprise everyone!
> 
> And finally, I want to thank... my brain, because this AU wouldn't exist without that one really depressing johavi dream. what the fuck. thank you
> 
> Hope to see you around 🎐🎵

**Author's Note:**

> If you like what I do drop by avijohann@tumblr to say hi! And if you like johavi, you’re more than welcome to join the [ johavi discord server](https://discord.gg/pPTMxVZ)!


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